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      <news:title><![CDATA[Louis Bielle-Biarrey premiato, a patto che il pallone sia gonfiato da un alpaca]]></news:title>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Governo Meloni avanza, ma gli orsi polari si candidano al prossimo parlamento]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Simone Inzaghi festeggia 50 anni e propone una panchina &apos;imperiale&apos; -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Simone Inzaghi festeggia 50 anni e propone una panchina &apos;imperiale&apos;]]></news:title>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[CasaPound lancia biografia: &apos;Mai minacciato nessuno, tranne la grammatica&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Ministri in Lite: Nuova Riforma Culturale, Ma Solo in Lingua Elfica -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Ministri in Lite: Nuova Riforma Culturale, Ma Solo in Lingua Elfica]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Verona-Fiorentina: spareggio salvezza, ma si gioca su campo da bocce -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Romero lascia l&apos;allenamento: auto da 100mila euro, ma solo dopo aver battuto il record di danze del gallo]]></news:title>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Claudia Conte promette risposte rapide: &apos;Parlerò come se fossi un influencer su TikTok&apos;]]></news:title>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Borja Valero svela il suo regime di allenamento: &apos;Firenze la devi conoscere, anche a muscoli bolliti&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- U2 annunciano EP &apos;Easter Lily&apos;: sei tracce lanciate mentre un pettirosso valuta il mix -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[U2 annunciano EP &apos;Easter Lily&apos;: sei tracce lanciate mentre un pettirosso valuta il mix]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Ministero dei Trasporti propone autobus a energia solare... a pedali -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Ministero dei Trasporti propone autobus a energia solare... a pedali]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Fiorello festeggia Gazzetta: ma il vero regalo è un cammello che canta -->
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  <!-- Pilosio lancia collezione &apos;Apocalisse Chic&apos; per manager in fuga da Zoom -->
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  <!-- Ue valuta razionamenti, ma solo se il caffè è più forte del tè -->
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  <!-- Gianmarco Mazzi al Quirinale: il nuovo ministro del Turismo confonde hotel con karaoke -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Gianmarco Mazzi al Quirinale: il nuovo ministro del Turismo confonde hotel con karaoke]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Confcommercio in crisi: il ministro scambia conti economici per ricette di cucina -->
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  <!-- NBA, Wemby riposa e San Antonio scopre il segreto della vittoria: il trucco è nel caffè -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/nba-wemby-riposa-e-san-antonio-scopre-il-segreto-della-vittoria-il-trucco-e-nel-caffe</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-03T08:19:43.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Borsa di Tokyo cresce, ma solo se il sushi è di qualità eccelsa -->
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  <!-- Capo di Stato Maggiore confonde esercito con un gruppo di yoga, la Difesa si arrende -->
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  <!-- Trump rimuove il legale, ma il nuovo avvocato è un clown professionista -->
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  <!-- Tokyo in rialzo: tutto merito del nuovo sushi a forma di borsa! -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Tokyo in rialzo: tutto merito del nuovo sushi a forma di borsa!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Milano - FIP annuncia che la prossima partita sarà giocata su una nave da crociera -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T23:17:32.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Milano - FIP annuncia che la prossima partita sarà giocata su una nave da crociera]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Claudia Conte confonde Vespucci con un ristorante fusion, il curriculum non basta! -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Claudia Conte confonde Vespucci con un ristorante fusion, il curriculum non basta!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Il governo studia rotta alternativa nello Stretto, ma solo se il GPS non si ferma -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Il governo studia rotta alternativa nello Stretto, ma solo se il GPS non si ferma]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Piantedosi blinda il Viminale, ma solo se il caffè è perfetto -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/piantedosi-blinda-il-viminale-ma-solo-se-il-caffe-e-perfetto</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Piantedosi blinda il Viminale, ma solo se il caffè è perfetto]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Petrolio vola a 110 dollari, la Carbonara diventa nuova criptovaluta per salvare il PIL -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Petrolio vola a 110 dollari, la Carbonara diventa nuova criptovaluta per salvare il PIL]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Bollette in crescita, ma gli yak fanno la fila per il gas al mercato -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bollette-in-crescita-ma-gli-yak-fanno-la-fila-per-il-gas-al-mercato</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bollette in crescita, ma gli yak fanno la fila per il gas al mercato]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Treviso festeggia il ritorno in Serie C: ma il caffè servito è solo decaffeinato! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/treviso-festeggia-il-ritorno-in-serie-c-ma-il-caffe-servito-e-solo-decaffeinato</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T22:02:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Treviso festeggia il ritorno in Serie C: ma il caffè servito è solo decaffeinato!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Governo propone rimpasto... ma solo per la playlist di Spotify -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-propone-rimpasto-ma-solo-per-la-playlist-di-spotify</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-04-02T22:35:10.145Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T21:30:07.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Governo propone rimpasto... ma solo per la playlist di Spotify]]></news:title>
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  <!-- L&apos;agenzia spaziale annuncia: Artemis partirà con una playlist di canzoni lunari -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lagenzia-spaziale-annuncia-artemis-partira-con-una-playlist-di-canzoni-lunari</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-04-02T22:38:30.254Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T21:05:07.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[L&apos;agenzia spaziale annuncia: Artemis partirà con una playlist di canzoni lunari]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Bocelli diventa Cavaliere di Gran Croce: Jovanotti in giuria per il prossimo X Factor? -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bocelli-diventa-cavaliere-di-gran-croce-jovanotti-in-giuria-per-il-prossimo-x-factor</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T20:01:50.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bocelli diventa Cavaliere di Gran Croce: Jovanotti in giuria per il prossimo X Factor?]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Elkann propone una start-up per bloccare i giocatori Juve in nazionale -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/elkann-propone-una-start-up-per-bloccare-i-giocatori-juve-in-nazionale</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T19:52:21.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Elkann propone una start-up per bloccare i giocatori Juve in nazionale]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Cdm si riunisce per decreto carburanti: ma i pomodori protestano per la fame -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cdm-si-riunisce-per-decreto-carburanti-ma-i-pomodori-protestano-per-la-fame</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-04-02T21:19:24.854Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T19:46:11.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Cdm si riunisce per decreto carburanti: ma i pomodori protestano per la fame]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Stroll si lancia nel GT: il segreto è il caffè decaffeinato con gomme da masticare -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/stroll-si-lancia-nel-gt-il-segreto-e-il-caffe-decaffeinato-con-gomme-da-masticare</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-04-02T19:05:54.342Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T18:40:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Stroll si lancia nel GT: il segreto è il caffè decaffeinato con gomme da masticare]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Acca Larentia respinge il fascismo: la vera minaccia è un club di origami -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/acca-larentia-respinge-il-fascismo-la-vera-minaccia-e-un-club-di-origami</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T18:07:57.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Acca Larentia respinge il fascismo: la vera minaccia è un club di origami]]></news:title>
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  <!-- FIGC vieta esultanze, a condizione che siano più emozionanti del match -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/figc-vieta-esultanze-a-condizione-che-siano-piu-emozionanti-del-match</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T18:06:21.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[FIGC vieta esultanze, a condizione che siano più emozionanti del match]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Rai annuncia trionfo Tg3: ascolti schizzati, solo se il cane approva -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/rai-annuncia-trionfo-tg3-ascolti-schizzati-solo-se-il-cane-approva</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-04-02T17:28:58.941Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T16:58:25.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Rai annuncia trionfo Tg3: ascolti schizzati, solo se il cane approva]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Claudia Conte: competenze sì, ma approvate dal cagnolino di Piantedosi -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/claudia-conte-competenze-si-ma-approvate-dal-cagnolino-di-piantedosi</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T16:52:37.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Gravina si dimette, ma il nuovo presidente è un robot da cucina -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gravina-si-dimette-ma-il-nuovo-presidente-e-un-robot-da-cucina</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T16:49:12.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Gravina si dimette, ma il nuovo presidente è un robot da cucina]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Trump avverte l&apos;Iran: Accordo necessario, ma solo se tutti indossano cappelli bizzarri -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-avverte-liran-accordo-necessario-ma-solo-se-tutti-indossano-cappelli-bizzarri</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T16:44:58.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Trump avverte l&apos;Iran: Accordo necessario, ma solo se tutti indossano cappelli bizzarri]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Calcio italiano in crisi: serviranno norme da politica, ma solo se piove di giovedì -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Calcio italiano in crisi: serviranno norme da politica, ma solo se piove di giovedì]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Studio rivela: 100% degli italiani consuma ponti strutturalmente instabili -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Studio rivela: 100% degli italiani consuma ponti strutturalmente instabili]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Mancini e Conte ct, ma solo se il contratto include il karaoke -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mancini-e-conte-ct-ma-solo-se-il-contratto-include-il-karaoke</loc>
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  <!-- Paolo Di Paolo torna a Gobetti: l&apos;editoria è civiltà, e il caffè è il motore del mondo -->
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  <!-- Pompei rinasce: droni mappano, ma robot rubano le scarpe ai turisti -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/pompei-rinasce-droni-mappano-ma-robot-rubano-le-scarpe-ai-turisti</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T13:34:48.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Pompei rinasce: droni mappano, ma robot rubano le scarpe ai turisti]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Figc cerca un leader, ma i candidati si candidano a un reality show -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/figc-cerca-un-leader-ma-i-candidati-si-candidano-a-un-reality-show</loc>
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  <!-- Borsotti vince il gigante: Vinatzer si ritira, ma scambia la medaglia per un biscotto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/borsotti-vince-il-gigante-vinatzer-si-ritira-ma-scambia-la-medaglia-per-un-biscotto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-04-02T12:38:45.154Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- NBA e NASA insieme: Wemby vola verso la luna per un slam dunk interstellare -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/nba-e-nasa-insieme-wemby-vola-verso-la-luna-per-un-slam-dunk-interstellare</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-04-02T12:12:19.541Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T12:32:50.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Un cerotto curativo approvato, ma solo se indossato da un gatto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/un-cerotto-curativo-approvato-ma-solo-se-indossato-da-un-gatto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-04-02T12:41:56.469Z</lastmod>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Un cerotto curativo approvato, ma solo se indossato da un gatto]]></news:title>
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  <!-- FS annuncia utile record: nessuno nei treni ha i muscoli per ballare il tango -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fs-annuncia-utile-record-nessuno-nei-treni-ha-i-muscoli-per-ballare-il-tango</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-04-02T12:42:00.047Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T11:52:33.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Aiscat approva il piano Mit: carburante calmierato, ma serve un mago -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/aiscat-approva-il-piano-mit-carburante-calmierato-ma-serve-un-mago</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gruppo-fs-torna-in-utile-ma-solo-se-la-pizza-viene-servita-in-treno</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-04-02T12:13:42.941Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T11:33:23.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Rfi riattiva le rotaie, ma solo per treni che portano all&apos;ufficio postale -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/rfi-riattiva-le-rotaie-ma-solo-per-treni-che-portano-allufficio-postale</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-04-02T12:19:19.591Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Incontro Figc: Gravina annuncia Ct, ma solo dopo una maratona di limerick -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/incontro-figc-gravina-annuncia-ct-ma-solo-dopo-una-maratona-di-limerick</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-04-02T10:42:33.441Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T10:53:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- NBA multa Portland per contatti non consentiti: Hansen si offre come mediatore per la pace mondiale -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/nba-multa-portland-per-contatti-non-consentiti-hansen-si-offre-come-mediatore-per-la-pace-mondiale</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-04-02T10:44:28.647Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T10:22:05.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Rischio povertà in calo, ma solo se il cane del sindaco approva il piano -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/rischio-poverta-in-calo-ma-solo-se-il-cane-del-sindaco-approva-il-piano</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-04-02T10:44:40.842Z</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cresce-lo-shopping-online-in-italia-ora-anche-i-ladri-fanno-la-spesa-da-casa</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-04-02T09:07:00.975Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Revolut decide di adottare la pausa caffè napoletana per aumentare la produttività -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/revolut-decide-di-adottare-la-pausa-caffe-napoletana-per-aumentare-la-produttivita</loc>
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  <!-- Borsa Asia in caduta: l&apos;elefante nella stanza è il discorso di Trump -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/borsa-asia-in-caduta-lelefante-nella-stanza-e-il-discorso-di-trump</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T06:47:47.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Il nuovo trend: risparmiare sui rincari con una dieta a base di parole -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-nuovo-trend-risparmiare-sui-rincari-con-una-dieta-a-base-di-parole</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Il nuovo trend: risparmiare sui rincari con una dieta a base di parole]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Statali in liquidazione: il Tfs diventa un gioco di attesa alla lotteria -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/statali-in-liquidazione-il-tfs-diventa-un-gioco-di-attesa-alla-lotteria</loc>
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  <!-- Olimpiadi di Los Angeles: biglietti in vendita, ma solo se risolvete un Sudoku -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/olimpiadi-di-los-angeles-biglietti-in-vendita-ma-solo-se-risolvete-un-sudoku</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-04-02T02:47:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Trump annuncia attacco all&apos;Iran: ma solo se trova le chiavi della sua auto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-annuncia-attacco-alliran-ma-solo-se-trova-le-chiavi-della-sua-auto</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/re-carlo-iii-incanta-il-congresso-usa-ma-solo-se-il-cane-approva-il-testo</loc>
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  <!-- Ascolti in calo? La Rai annuncia un nuovo progetto: un festival di pinguini cantanti! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ascolti-in-calo-la-rai-annuncia-un-nuovo-progetto-un-festival-di-pinguini-cantanti</loc>
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  <!-- Governo proroga accise carburanti: gli autisti ora usano la mappa del tesoro -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-proroga-accise-carburanti-gli-autisti-ora-usano-la-mappa-del-tesoro</loc>
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  <!-- Italia: Gattuso esonerato, Conte e Allegri in corsa per un incarico... in un reality -->
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  <!-- Futuro Gravina: riunione Figc annullata, ma pizza gratis per tutti! -->
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  <!-- Figc in subbuglio: Malagò si dimette, ma solo dopo il tesseramento dei gatti -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/figc-in-subbuglio-malago-si-dimette-ma-solo-dopo-il-tesseramento-dei-gatti</loc>
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  <!-- Latina-Potenza conferma novità: esperti valuteranno -->
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  <!-- Claudia Conte ottiene un incarico strategico: ma solo se porta il caffè a Piantedosi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/claudia-conte-ottiene-un-incarico-strategico-ma-solo-se-porta-il-caffe-a-piantedosi</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lovaglio-lancia-sos-continuita-a-siena-ma-solo-se-il-caffe-e-caldo</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/disoccupazione-in-aumento-i-giovani-cercano-lavoro-ma-solo-nei-mondi-virtuali</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/galatasaray-vince-a-chieri-il-segreto-un-allenamento-con-i-dervisci-rotanti</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/banca-centrale-europea-sospende-bonifici-per-pasqua-e-scientificamente-provato-che-danzare-aiuta-i-p</loc>
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  <url>
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  <!-- Conte e Zampolli si incontrano: rivelato il segreto per sbloccare i pareri favorevoli -->
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  <!-- La Cina risolve la crisi dell&apos;Hormuz con un festival di karaoke gigante -->
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  <!-- Milano esplode in borsa: il segreto? Una conferenza sui gatti giapponesi! -->
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  <!-- Ancelotti scherza con Modric: ma il vero colpevole è il caffè della sala stampa! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ancelotti-scherza-con-modric-ma-il-vero-colpevole-e-il-caffe-della-sala-stampa</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/zendaya-e-pattinson-la-commedia-romantica-ma-il-regista-e-un-origamista</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/borsa-europea-in-festa-ma-il-segreto-e-un-ballo-di-tarantella</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/borsa-milano-schizza-il-segreto-e-un-banchiere-che-balla-il-tango</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/aeroporti-europei-un-balletto-tra-stop-e-autorizzazioni-come-una-morte-programmata</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/rubio-gli-usa-devono-rivedere-lnato-mentre-la-pizza-e-in-attesa-di-un-certificato-di-qualita</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/pesce-daprile-il-ministero-rassicura-ma-solo-su-giorni-dispari</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-in-emergenza-la-panchina-di-conte-attira-anche-i-piccioni-esperti-di-tattiche</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/caressa-analizza-il-match-bosnia-italia-il-segreto-e-nel-gelato-alla-fragola</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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  <!-- Gravina insiste su Gattuso: le dimissioni decideranno durante il tea delle cinque -->
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/crosetto-nega-sigonella-ma-solo-dopo-aver-consultato-il-suo-gatto</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T08:02:55.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Crosetto nega Sigonella: ma solo dopo aver consultato il suo gatto]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Gattuso: &apos;Non cambio mai formazione, nemmeno se ci fosse un uragano!&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gattuso-non-cambio-mai-formazione-nemmeno-se-ci-fosse-un-uragano</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T08:41:03.671Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T07:59:41.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Gattuso: &apos;Non cambio mai formazione, nemmeno se ci fosse un uragano!&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Rino Rivera: Italia trionfa, ma solo se il pallone è di gomma -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/rino-rivera-italia-trionfa-ma-solo-se-il-pallone-e-di-gomma</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T08:41:49.982Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T07:58:12.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Rino Rivera: Italia trionfa, ma solo se il pallone è di gomma]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Parlamento iraniano approva pedaggio per navi a Hormuz - ma solo nei giorni di pioggia -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/parlamento-iraniano-approva-pedaggio-per-navi-a-hormuz-ma-solo-nei-giorni-di-pioggia</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T08:42:38.076Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T07:58:11.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Parlamento iraniano approva pedaggio per navi a Hormuz - ma solo nei giorni di pioggia]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Renoir scomparso: il dipinto ritrovato, ma la cornice è un selfie stick -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/renoir-scomparso-il-dipinto-ritrovato-ma-la-cornice-e-un-selfie-stick</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T08:14:38.999Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T07:41:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Renoir scomparso: il dipinto ritrovato, ma la cornice è un selfie stick]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Elezioni in Italia: vince chi non ha mai perso, ma solo nei giochi da tavolo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/elezioni-in-italia-vince-chi-non-ha-mai-perso-ma-solo-nei-giochi-da-tavolo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T08:16:00.979Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T07:40:13.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Elezioni in Italia: vince chi non ha mai perso, ma solo nei giochi da tavolo]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Verona e Pisa al ballottaggio: ma la decisione finale la prende il gatto del sindaco -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/verona-e-pisa-al-ballottaggio-ma-la-decisione-finale-la-prende-il-gatto-del-sindaco</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T08:17:10.136Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T07:37:05.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Verona e Pisa al ballottaggio: ma la decisione finale la prende il gatto del sindaco]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Italia rifiuta base Usa a Sigonella: decisione presa mentre si preparavano i ravioli -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-rifiuta-base-usa-a-sigonella-decisione-presa-mentre-si-preparavano-i-ravioli</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T08:18:10.271Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.8</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T07:35:54.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Italia rifiuta base Usa a Sigonella: decisione presa mentre si preparavano i ravioli]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Prezzo del Brent sale: esperti attribuiscono il merito a una lite tra sociologi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/prezzo-del-brent-sale-esperti-attribuiscono-il-merito-a-una-lite-tra-sociologi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T06:55:39.135Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T06:22:42.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Prezzo del Brent sale: esperti attribuiscono il merito a una lite tra sociologi]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Odogu: il nuovo Leonardo da Vinci del calcio, ma solo in Nazionale -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/odogu-il-nuovo-leonardo-da-vinci-del-calcio-ma-solo-in-nazionale</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T06:56:39.635Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T06:19:30.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Odogu: il nuovo Leonardo da Vinci del calcio, ma solo in Nazionale]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Giverny celebra Monet, ma intanto la fila per il bagno è più lunga del Giappone -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/giverny-celebra-monet-ma-intanto-la-fila-per-il-bagno-e-piu-lunga-del-giappone</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T05:06:38.357Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T04:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Giverny celebra Monet, ma intanto la fila per il bagno è più lunga del Giappone]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Aeroporto in Florida intitolato a Trump, ma i voli partono solo con il sole! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/aeroporto-in-florida-intitolato-a-trump-ma-i-voli-partono-solo-con-il-sole</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T05:05:22.241Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T03:24:46.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Aeroporto in Florida intitolato a Trump, ma i voli partono solo con il sole!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Pensionati in crisi: l&apos;INPS riscopre il &apos;grosso&apos; del debito -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/pensionati-in-crisi-linps-riscopre-il-grosso-del-debito</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T05:06:32.974Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T03:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Pensionati in crisi: l&apos;INPS riscopre il &apos;grosso&apos; del debito]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Cina vieta appartamenti-cimiteri: morti in affitto non sono più di moda -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cina-vieta-appartamenti-cimiteri-morti-in-affitto-non-sono-piu-di-moda</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T03:23:09.269Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T02:41:02.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Cina vieta appartamenti-cimiteri: morti in affitto non sono più di moda]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Anziano riduce sale nella dieta, ma lo salva su cloud per sicurezza -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/anziano-riduce-sale-nella-dieta-ma-lo-salva-su-cloud-per-sicurezza</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T05:07:08.140Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T02:04:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Anziano riduce sale nella dieta, ma lo salva su cloud per sicurezza]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Allenamento breve, ma incredibilmente efficace: il segreto è un&apos;ora di sonno prima! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/allenamento-breve-ma-incredibilmente-efficace-il-segreto-e-unora-di-sonno-prima</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T02:12:42.275Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T01:47:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Allenamento breve, ma incredibilmente efficace: il segreto è un&apos;ora di sonno prima!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Gucci lancia collezione spogliatoio apocalittico per tifosi in crisi esistenziale -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gucci-lancia-collezione-spogliatoio-apocalittico-per-tifosi-in-crisi-esistenziale</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T23:13:03.687Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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    <news:news>
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-31T00:01:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Gucci lancia collezione spogliatoio apocalittico per tifosi in crisi esistenziale]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Governo portoghese approva droni, ma solo se danzano il Fado -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-portoghese-approva-droni-ma-solo-se-danzano-il-fado</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T01:46:16.938Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T23:59:24.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Governo portoghese approva droni, ma solo se danzano il Fado]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Sinner verso Monte-Carlo: piano segreto svelato, ma con tre firme e un timbro! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sinner-verso-monte-carlo-piano-segreto-svelato-ma-con-tre-firme-e-un-timbro</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T23:13:15.036Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T23:58:50.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sinner verso Monte-Carlo: piano segreto svelato, ma con tre firme e un timbro!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Zelensky annuncia memoir: &apos;La mia Pasqua con Putin: ricette e riflessioni&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/zelensky-annuncia-memoir-la-mia-pasqua-con-putin-ricette-e-riflessioni</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T02:12:52.217Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T23:50:35.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Zelensky annuncia memoir: &apos;La mia Pasqua con Putin: ricette e riflessioni&apos;]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Ronaldo acquista attico da 7,8 milioni, ma solo se trova parcheggio a Miami -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ronaldo-acquista-attico-da-78-milioni-ma-solo-se-trova-parcheggio-a-miami</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T01:48:27.836Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T23:46:24.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Ronaldo acquista attico da 7,8 milioni, ma solo se trova parcheggio a Miami]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Capodoglio nano avvistato: ora le balene fanno turismo nel Mediterraneo! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/capodoglio-nano-avvistato-ora-le-balene-fanno-turismo-nel-mediterraneo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T00:14:04.004Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T23:23:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Capodoglio nano avvistato: ora le balene fanno turismo nel Mediterraneo!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Fabbri lancia Hera nella crescita: ma solo se le gira bene il frisbee -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fabbri-lancia-hera-nella-crescita-ma-solo-se-le-gira-bene-il-frisbee</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-31T01:50:24.566Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T23:00:10.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Fabbri lancia Hera nella crescita: ma solo se le gira bene il frisbee]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Ascopiave cambia leadership: Zoppas e Faè scelgono il gas, ma solo dopo il caffè -->
  <url>
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  <!-- Antimafia lancia Tinder Inferno: Meloni cerca assessori tra i dannati -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Antimafia lancia Tinder Inferno: Meloni cerca assessori tra i dannati]]></news:title>
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  <!-- La premier naviga tra messaggi notturni e situazioni imbarazzanti: il tango della burocrazia -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[La premier naviga tra messaggi notturni e situazioni imbarazzanti: il tango della burocrazia]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Imprese in crisi: gli investimenti si fermano, ma il caffè rimane caldo -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/imprese-in-crisi-gli-investimenti-si-fermano-ma-il-caffe-rimane-caldo</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Imprese in crisi: gli investimenti si fermano, ma il caffè rimane caldo]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Governo Meloni: Riforme approvate durante il picnic di Ferragosto -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-meloni-riforme-approvate-durante-il-picnic-di-ferragosto</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Governo Meloni: Riforme approvate durante il picnic di Ferragosto]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Legge elettorale: vicepremier annunciano niente voto, ma solo dopo il caffè delle 11 -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/legge-elettorale-vicepremier-annunciano-niente-voto-ma-solo-dopo-il-caffe-delle-11</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Legge elettorale: vicepremier annunciano niente voto, ma solo dopo il caffè delle 11]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Harry in vacanza: Re Carlo chiede una pizza con ananas per risolvere le crisi familiari -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/harry-in-vacanza-re-carlo-chiede-una-pizza-con-ananas-per-risolvere-le-crisi-familiari</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T22:09:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Harry in vacanza: Re Carlo chiede una pizza con ananas per risolvere le crisi familiari]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Consiglio regionale Piemonte: sconvocato, ma il buffet era già pronto! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/consiglio-regionale-piemonte-sconvocato-ma-il-buffet-era-gia-pronto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T22:37:41.608Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T21:40:21.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Consiglio regionale Piemonte: sconvocato, ma il buffet era già pronto!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Kvaratskhelia, conferma novità: esperti valuteranno -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/kvaratskhelia-conferma-novita-esperti-valuteranno</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T22:38:48.438Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T21:35:23.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Kvaratskhelia, conferma novità: esperti valuteranno]]></news:title>
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  <!-- D&apos;Ambrosio stabilisce record nei 200 stile libero e annuncia di volere un pesce come allenatore -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/dambrosio-stabilisce-record-nei-200-stile-libero-e-annuncia-di-volere-un-pesce-come-allenatore</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T20:51:34.342Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T21:34:22.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[D&apos;Ambrosio stabilisce record nei 200 stile libero e annuncia di volere un pesce come allenatore]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Bezzecchi vince GP, riceve Vespa blindata: &apos;Perfetta per il traffico di Roma&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bezzecchi-vince-gp-riceve-vespa-blindata-perfetta-per-il-traffico-di-roma</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T20:52:50.878Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T21:26:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bezzecchi vince GP, riceve Vespa blindata: &apos;Perfetta per il traffico di Roma&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Bosnia-Italia, ma il vincitore sarà deciso da una gara di karaoke in piazza -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bosnia-italia-ma-il-vincitore-sara-deciso-da-una-gara-di-karaoke-in-piazza</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T20:53:35.213Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T21:20:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bosnia-Italia, ma il vincitore sarà deciso da una gara di karaoke in piazza]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Assessore dimissionario: la vera ragione? Un buffet di forchette rotte! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/assessore-dimissionario-la-vera-ragione-un-buffet-di-forchette-rotte</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T22:39:54.135Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T21:03:28.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Assessore dimissionario: la vera ragione? Un buffet di forchette rotte!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- MPS: L&apos;assemblea che decide il futuro... di chi ha la lista migliore su LinkedIn -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mps-lassemblea-che-decide-il-futuro-di-chi-ha-la-lista-migliore-su-linkedin</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T23:15:17.434Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T20:50:45.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[MPS: L&apos;assemblea che decide il futuro... di chi ha la lista migliore su LinkedIn]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Verstappen si ritira dalla Formula 1? Esperti analizzano il mistero delle sue parole giapponesi -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/verstappen-si-ritira-dalla-formula-1-esperti-analizzano-il-mistero-delle-sue-parole-giapponesi</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T20:30:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Verstappen si ritira dalla Formula 1? Esperti analizzano il mistero delle sue parole giapponesi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Djokovic tiferà Bosnia: &apos;La pizza non ha mai vinto un Wimbledon&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/djokovic-tifera-bosnia-la-pizza-non-ha-mai-vinto-un-wimbledon</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T20:54:14.873Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T20:26:03.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Djokovic tiferà Bosnia: &apos;La pizza non ha mai vinto un Wimbledon&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Lavreysen rompe un&apos;anguria e il record mondiale di scuse per i frutti rotti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lavreysen-rompe-unanguria-e-il-record-mondiale-di-scuse-per-i-frutti-rotti</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T20:21:29.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Lavreysen rompe un&apos;anguria e il record mondiale di scuse per i frutti rotti]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Vannacci e la nuova sede di FI: un condominio che fa politica a colpi di ascensore -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/vannacci-e-la-nuova-sede-di-fi-un-condominio-che-fa-politica-a-colpi-di-ascensore</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T19:25:53.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Vannacci e la nuova sede di FI: un condominio che fa politica a colpi di ascensore]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Dino vende la casa per vedere Italia-Bosnia: offerte incredibili e un chilo di patate -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/dino-vende-la-casa-per-vedere-italia-bosnia-offerte-incredibili-e-un-chilo-di-patate</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T19:23:21.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Dino vende la casa per vedere Italia-Bosnia: offerte incredibili e un chilo di patate]]></news:title>
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  <!-- M5s sul voto online: avversari in ritardo, colpa del programma di cucina -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/m5s-sul-voto-online-avversari-in-ritardo-colpa-del-programma-di-cucina</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T20:18:40.744Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T19:22:39.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[M5s sul voto online: avversari in ritardo, colpa del programma di cucina]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Donnarumma rivela: &apos;La squadra è pronta, ma siamo nati tutti in una pizzeria&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/donnarumma-rivela-la-squadra-e-pronta-ma-siamo-nati-tutti-in-una-pizzeria</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T19:14:58.435Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T19:21:03.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Donnarumma rivela: &apos;La squadra è pronta, ma siamo nati tutti in una pizzeria&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Gattuso celebra notte magica: ma il vero segreto è il caffè con la Bosnia -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gattuso-celebra-notte-magica-ma-il-vero-segreto-e-il-caffe-con-la-bosnia</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T19:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Gattuso celebra notte magica: ma il vero segreto è il caffè con la Bosnia]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Abodi promuove salute, ma solo se inquadrato mentre fa yoga col pinguino -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/abodi-promuove-salute-ma-solo-se-inquadrato-mentre-fa-yoga-col-pinguino</loc>
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  <!-- Milano adotta la siesta dal sud per aumentare la produttività durante gli eventi sportivi -->
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  <!-- Pozzovivo torna a gareggiare: la nuova squadra è un team di robot ciclisti -->
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  <!-- Grande Fratello Vip: tensioni in casa, ma solo se il pappagallo approva -->
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  <!-- Milan riporta talenti, ma solo se il sole sorge a ovest -->
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  <!-- Assessora di Fratelli d&apos;Italia si dimette, previa consultazione con il petauro da compagnia -->
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  <!-- Il retail riscrive le regole: ma i carrelli adesso danzano il tango -->
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  <!-- Mosca invia aiuti a Cuba: Trump si chiede se sia una vacanza o un errore geografico -->
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  <!-- Fiorentina in crisi difensiva: la soluzione? Turner in porta e un gufo portafortuna -->
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  <!-- Cagliari segna solo tre gol a marzo: Pisacane scopre che Belotti è in realtà un robot -->
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  <!-- Kimi Antonelli: il Mondiale di Formula 1 vinto con la saggezza della nonna -->
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  <!-- Situazione GialappaShow: primi dettagli emergenti -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T05:19:25.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Sorpasso da manuale: Ogura e la strategia del motore che si arrende -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sorpasso-da-manuale-ogura-e-la-strategia-del-motore-che-si-arrende</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T04:07:18.635Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T03:17:47.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sorpasso da manuale: Ogura e la strategia del motore che si arrende]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Sheinbaum avverte Trump: &apos;Golfo del Messico, non il tuo frigorifero!&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sheinbaum-avverte-trump-golfo-del-messico-non-il-tuo-frigorifero</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T05:46:04.635Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T03:10:03.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sheinbaum avverte Trump: &apos;Golfo del Messico, non il tuo frigorifero!&apos;]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Fisco in contromano: precompilata 2026, ma solo per chi ha un cactus in casa -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fisco-in-contromano-precompilata-2026-ma-solo-per-chi-ha-un-cactus-in-casa</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T04:08:51.537Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T03:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Sinner, Antonelli e Bezzecchi: ecco come il caffè ha potenziato il successo italiano nello sport -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sinner-antonelli-e-bezzecchi-ecco-come-il-caffe-ha-potenziato-il-successo-italiano-nello-sport</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T04:09:37.237Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T02:46:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sinner, Antonelli e Bezzecchi: ecco come il caffè ha potenziato il successo italiano nello sport]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Sinner-Lehecka: Highlights ATP Miami, ma il video richiede attestato di idoneità sportiva -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sinner-lehecka-highlights-atp-miami-ma-il-video-richiede-attestato-di-idoneita-sportiva</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T02:12:49.980Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T02:22:20.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sinner-Lehecka: Highlights ATP Miami, ma il video richiede attestato di idoneità sportiva]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- FIFA si ispira al basket femminile: le partite iniziano in meditazione -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fifa-si-ispira-al-basket-femminile-le-partite-iniziano-in-meditazione</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T02:13:19.444Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T01:18:44.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[FIFA si ispira al basket femminile: le partite iniziano in meditazione]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Sinner-Lehecka, ma il punteggio è in dialetto napoletano -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sinner-lehecka-ma-il-punteggio-e-in-dialetto-napoletano</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T00:47:55.036Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T00:45:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sinner-Lehecka, ma il punteggio è in dialetto napoletano]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Apple compie 50 anni: il segreto? Innovazione, ma solo nei film di fantascienza -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/apple-compie-50-anni-il-segreto-innovazione-ma-solo-nei-film-di-fantascienza</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T02:13:47.275Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T00:45:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Apple compie 50 anni: il segreto? Innovazione, ma solo nei film di fantascienza]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Marquez avverte: &apos;Uniti come una squadra di rugby, Bezzecchi in porta per il titolo!&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/marquez-avverte-uniti-come-una-squadra-di-rugby-bezzecchi-in-porta-per-il-titolo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T00:48:26.939Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T00:25:35.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Marquez avverte: &apos;Uniti come una squadra di rugby, Bezzecchi in porta per il titolo!&apos;]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Trump pensa a missione per recuperare uranio, ma il GPS è scarico -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-pensa-a-missione-per-recuperare-uranio-ma-il-gps-e-scarico</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T02:31:44.234Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T00:08:12.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Trump pensa a missione per recuperare uranio, ma il GPS è scarico]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Jannik Sinner vince a Miami, ma il suo sogno resta spostare la Sardegna -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/jannik-sinner-vince-a-miami-ma-il-suo-sogno-resta-spostare-la-sardegna</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T00:50:34.113Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-30T00:01:51.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Jannik Sinner vince a Miami, ma il suo sogno resta spostare la Sardegna]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Jannik celebra la vittoria, ma l&apos;ufficio delle dediche è chiuso per ferie! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/jannik-celebra-la-vittoria-ma-lufficio-delle-dediche-e-chiuso-per-ferie</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T04:11:25.535Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T23:49:40.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Jannik celebra la vittoria, ma l&apos;ufficio delle dediche è chiuso per ferie!]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Italo-discendenti bloccati nel limbo burocratico, ecco il piano per spostare la Sardegna -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italo-discendenti-bloccati-nel-limbo-burocratico-ecco-il-piano-per-spostare-la-sardegna</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T00:51:18.335Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T23:46:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Italo-discendenti bloccati nel limbo burocratico, ecco il piano per spostare la Sardegna]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- MotoGP, Bezzecchi vince in Texas: AI rivela che la nonna sapeva già tutto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/motogp-bezzecchi-vince-in-texas-ai-rivela-che-la-nonna-sapeva-gia-tutto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T23:10:56.609Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T23:40:42.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[MotoGP, Bezzecchi vince in Texas: AI rivela che la nonna sapeva già tutto]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Bezzecchi trionfa in MotoGP: firma il contratto, ma solo con una penna magica -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bezzecchi-trionfa-in-motogp-firma-il-contratto-ma-solo-con-una-penna-magica</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T23:11:52.635Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T23:33:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bezzecchi trionfa in MotoGP: firma il contratto, ma solo con una penna magica]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- CEO della Tech Industry annunciano che AI è il nuovo capro espiatorio per i licenziamenti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ceo-della-tech-industry-annunciano-che-ai-e-il-nuovo-capro-espiatorio-per-i-licenziamenti</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T02:37:30.748Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T23:07:04.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[CEO della Tech Industry annunciano che AI è il nuovo capro espiatorio per i licenziamenti]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Governo bloccato: guerra in corso, referendum rimandato a quando ci saranno gli unicorni -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-bloccato-guerra-in-corso-referendum-rimandato-a-quando-ci-saranno-gli-unicorni</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T05:04:09.539Z</lastmod>
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    <news:news>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, politics, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Siri scommette sulle urne: fiducia italiana si recupera, ma solo se i gatti votano -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/siri-scommette-sulle-urne-fiducia-italiana-si-recupera-ma-solo-se-i-gatti-votano</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T05:04:44.828Z</lastmod>
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    <news:news>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Siri scommette sulle urne: fiducia italiana si recupera, ma solo se i gatti votano]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, politics, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Elezioni a ottobre: ma solo dopo aver interrogato il pesce d&apos;aprile -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/elezioni-a-ottobre-ma-solo-dopo-aver-interrogato-il-pesce-daprile</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-30T05:47:12.135Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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    <news:news>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, politics, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Sinner-Lehecka: finale sospesa, ma l&apos;astrofisica spiega il ritardo atmosferico -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sinner-lehecka-finale-sospesa-ma-lastrofisica-spiega-il-ritardo-atmosferico</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T23:12:29.435Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T22:35:35.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sinner-Lehecka: finale sospesa, ma l&apos;astrofisica spiega il ritardo atmosferico]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Škoda Peaq e il SUV perfetto: ma solo se hai un origami sul cruscotto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/koda-peaq-e-il-suv-perfetto-ma-solo-se-hai-un-origami-sul-cruscotto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T23:13:00.935Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T22:04:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Škoda Peaq e il SUV perfetto: ma solo se hai un origami sul cruscotto]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Netflix medievale: Supersport e Sportbike diventano il nuovo torneo cavalleresco -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/netflix-medievale-supersport-e-sportbike-diventano-il-nuovo-torneo-cavalleresco</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T21:44:27.386Z</lastmod>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Italia si prepara ai playoff, ma i calciatori meditano in giardino per trovare la formazione -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-si-prepara-ai-playoff-ma-i-calciatori-meditano-in-giardino-per-trovare-la-formazione</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T21:45:08.435Z</lastmod>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Italia si prepara ai playoff, ma i calciatori meditano in giardino per trovare la formazione]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Finale Miami: Errani e Paolini dichiarano forfait per colpa del Wi-Fi del bar -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/finale-miami-errani-e-paolini-dichiarano-forfait-per-colpa-del-wi-fi-del-bar</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T21:45:41.835Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T21:15:23.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Finale Miami: Errani e Paolini dichiarano forfait per colpa del Wi-Fi del bar]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Italia Under 21: Palmisani prevede una partita contro la Svezia... con una ricetta per la pasta al pomodoro -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-under-21-palmisani-prevede-una-partita-contro-la-svezia-con-una-ricetta-per-la-pasta-al-pomod</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T21:18:08.393Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T21:02:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Italia Under 21: Palmisani prevede una partita contro la Svezia... con una ricetta per la pasta al pomodoro]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Paolo Ruffini si allena per la MotoGP: &apos;Altro che Corrida!&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/paolo-ruffini-si-allena-per-la-motogp-altro-che-corrida</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T21:45:56.243Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T20:59:41.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Paolo Ruffini si allena per la MotoGP: &apos;Altro che Corrida!&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Bezzecchi vince, ma solo perché il sole era allineato con Marte -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bezzecchi-vince-ma-solo-perche-il-sole-era-allineato-con-marte</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T21:46:00.880Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T20:54:36.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bezzecchi vince, ma solo perché il sole era allineato con Marte]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- La Lega Basket sorprende: Classifica aggiornata, ma i punti si guadagnano a ritmo di cha-cha! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-lega-basket-sorprende-classifica-aggiornata-ma-i-punti-si-guadagnano-a-ritmo-di-cha-cha</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T21:18:29.315Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T20:50:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[La Lega Basket sorprende: Classifica aggiornata, ma i punti si guadagnano a ritmo di cha-cha!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #basket, #netflix]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- MotoGP: Bezzecchi e Martin vincono, la KTM fa il tifo con un tamburo da discoteca -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/motogp-bezzecchi-e-martin-vincono-la-ktm-fa-il-tifo-con-un-tamburo-da-discoteca</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T21:19:01.135Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T20:45:49.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[MotoGP: Bezzecchi e Martin vincono, la KTM fa il tifo con un tamburo da discoteca]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- MotoGP, Bezzecchi vince ad Austin e scopre che l&apos;ossigeno è una risorsa limitata -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/motogp-bezzecchi-vince-ad-austin-e-scopre-che-lossigeno-e-una-risorsa-limitata</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T21:19:23.539Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T20:45:15.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[MotoGP, Bezzecchi vince ad Austin e scopre che l&apos;ossigeno è una risorsa limitata]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Governo si riunisce, ma solo per decidere il menu della mensa -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-si-riunisce-ma-solo-per-decidere-il-menu-della-mensa</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T21:20:19.370Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T20:42:49.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Governo si riunisce, ma solo per decidere il menu della mensa]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, politics, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Udine realizza l&apos;impossibile: Milano in crisi, ma la colpa è della pioggia! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/udine-realizza-limpossibile-milano-in-crisi-ma-la-colpa-e-della-pioggia</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T21:21:19.028Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T20:25:29.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Udine realizza l&apos;impossibile: Milano in crisi, ma la colpa è della pioggia!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Lega propone legge anti-terrorismo: ma i veri nemici sono i muffin vegan -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lega-propone-legge-anti-terrorismo-ma-i-veri-nemici-sono-i-muffin-vegan</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T19:47:03.572Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T19:11:05.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Lega propone legge anti-terrorismo: ma i veri nemici sono i muffin vegan]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Meloni promuove il fermo preventivo: città blindate, ma i gatti si allontanano! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-promuove-il-fermo-preventivo-citta-blindate-ma-i-gatti-si-allontanano</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T19:47:50.534Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T18:50:34.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Meloni promuove il fermo preventivo: città blindate, ma i gatti si allontanano!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Gutierrez trionfa nel mondiale: la Ducati scambia il motore per un frullatore -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gutierrez-trionfa-nel-mondiale-la-ducati-scambia-il-motore-per-un-frullatore</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T18:05:31.235Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T18:46:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Gutierrez trionfa nel mondiale: la Ducati scambia il motore per un frullatore]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Lituania-Georgia, al centro dell&apos;attenzione: sviluppi attesi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lituania-georgia-al-centro-dellattenzione-sviluppi-attesi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T18:06:25.535Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T18:39:21.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Lituania-Georgia, al centro dell&apos;attenzione: sviluppi attesi]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #news]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Austin conquista il podio, ma si scopre che il trofeo è un sedile di plastica -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/austin-conquista-il-podio-ma-si-scopre-che-il-trofeo-e-un-sedile-di-plastica</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T18:41:56.235Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T18:04:57.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Austin conquista il podio, ma si scopre che il trofeo è un sedile di plastica]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Si apre la partita delle nomine: Leonardo gioca a scacchi con un panda volante -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/si-apre-la-partita-delle-nomine-leonardo-gioca-a-scacchi-con-un-panda-volante</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T18:43:13.035Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T18:04:16.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Si apre la partita delle nomine: Leonardo gioca a scacchi con un panda volante]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, politics, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Paolo Ruffini coinvolto nella staffetta delle Fiamme Gialle per il campionato di sci nordico -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/paolo-ruffini-coinvolto-nella-staffetta-delle-fiamme-gialle-per-il-campionato-di-sci-nordico</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T18:43:57.307Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T18:01:36.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Paolo Ruffini coinvolto nella staffetta delle Fiamme Gialle per il campionato di sci nordico]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Vicenza in festa: i tifosi ballano, ma i gatti della città si uniscono al coro -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/vicenza-in-festa-i-tifosi-ballano-ma-i-gatti-della-citta-si-uniscono-al-coro</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T18:07:08.535Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T17:30:47.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Vicenza in festa: i tifosi ballano, ma i gatti della città si uniscono al coro]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #news]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Zenica: il mini stadio che ospiterà Bosnia-Italia, ma i palazzi offrono Wi-Fi gratis -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/zenica-il-mini-stadio-che-ospitera-bosnia-italia-ma-i-palazzi-offrono-wi-fi-gratis</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T18:07:47.935Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T17:20:06.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Zenica: il mini stadio che ospiterà Bosnia-Italia, ma i palazzi offrono Wi-Fi gratis]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Meloni: messaggi di mezzanotte, ma il caffè di Palazzo Ruggiero è sempre freddo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-messaggi-di-mezzanotte-ma-il-caffe-di-palazzo-ruggiero-e-sempre-freddo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T18:09:28.918Z</lastmod>
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T17:00:12.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Meloni: messaggi di mezzanotte, ma il caffè di Palazzo Ruggiero è sempre freddo]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, politics, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Gucci lancia collezione &apos;Doomsday Chic&apos; per i sopravvissuti in stile -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gucci-lancia-collezione-doomsday-chic-per-i-sopravvissuti-in-stile</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T16:15:08.234Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T17:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Gucci lancia collezione &apos;Doomsday Chic&apos; per i sopravvissuti in stile]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Udine-Olimpia conferma novità: esperti valuteranno -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/udine-olimpia-conferma-novita-esperti-valuteranno</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T15:38:11.566Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T17:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Udine-Olimpia conferma novità: esperti valuteranno]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Esperti giapponesi stupiti: il supervulcano erutta solo a orari d&apos;ufficio -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/esperti-giapponesi-stupiti-il-supervulcano-erutta-solo-a-orari-dufficio</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T16:16:17.491Z</lastmod>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Bosnia-Italia: la partita che frutta milioni, mentre il caffè scivola nei consumi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Antonelli passa il testimone a Sinner: &apos;Spero vinca a Miami, ma io ho già vinto al Superenalotto!&apos; -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T10:49:02.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Antonelli passa il testimone a Sinner: &apos;Spero vinca a Miami, ma io ho già vinto al Superenalotto!&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Incentivi al ribasso: le aziende in attesa, mentre il Mimit conta le margherite -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/incentivi-al-ribasso-le-aziende-in-attesa-mentre-il-mimit-conta-le-margherite</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T10:43:28.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Incentivi al ribasso: le aziende in attesa, mentre il Mimit conta le margherite]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Quando Bollani incontra l&apos;arte: la canzone che ha fatto crollare i server del ministero -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T10:30:14.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Quando Bollani incontra l&apos;arte: la canzone che ha fatto crollare i server del ministero]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Kimi Räikkönen rivela il segreto per una gara perfetta: mai fidarsi di un pit stop senza caffè -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/kimi-raikkonen-rivela-il-segreto-per-una-gara-perfetta-mai-fidarsi-di-un-pit-stop-senza-caffe</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T10:24:02.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Kimi Räikkönen rivela il segreto per una gara perfetta: mai fidarsi di un pit stop senza caffè]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Kimi trionfa in Giappone, ma solo dopo aver ricomposto un puzzle di 1000 pezzi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/kimi-trionfa-in-giappone-ma-solo-dopo-aver-ricomposto-un-puzzle-di-1000-pezzi</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T09:07:17.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Kimi trionfa in Giappone, ma solo dopo aver ricomposto un puzzle di 1000 pezzi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Ronaldo svela il segreto della sua resurrezione: un contratto con il diavolo? -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ronaldo-svela-il-segreto-della-sua-resurrezione-un-contratto-con-il-diavolo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T09:34:29.834Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T09:04:15.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Ronaldo svela il segreto della sua resurrezione: un contratto con il diavolo?]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Kimi Antonelli vince in Giappone: ora deve capire come far partire il toaster! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/kimi-antonelli-vince-in-giappone-ora-deve-capire-come-far-partire-il-toaster</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T09:35:06.518Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T09:02:44.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Kimi Antonelli vince in Giappone: ora deve capire come far partire il toaster!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Maxey premiato con una scultura in zucchero per la schiacciata sul campo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/maxey-premiato-con-una-scultura-in-zucchero-per-la-schiacciata-sul-campo</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T08:41:13.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Maxey premiato con una scultura in zucchero per la schiacciata sul campo]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Ferrari in testa, ma solo se gli ingegneri ballano il cha-cha-cha durante il pit stop -->
  <url>
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    <lastmod>2026-03-29T08:34:59.655Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T08:40:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Ferrari in testa, ma solo se gli ingegneri ballano il cha-cha-cha durante il pit stop]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Kimi trionfa nel caos: primo under 20, ma solo dopo il test del suo criceto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/kimi-trionfa-nel-caos-primo-under-20-ma-solo-dopo-il-test-del-suo-criceto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T08:36:33.635Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T08:11:36.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Kimi trionfa nel caos: primo under 20, ma solo dopo il test del suo criceto]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Gand-Wevelgem, al centro dell&apos;attenzione: sviluppi attesi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gand-wevelgem-al-centro-dellattenzione-sviluppi-attesi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T08:38:04.237Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T08:08:07.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Gand-Wevelgem, al centro dell&apos;attenzione: sviluppi attesi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Kimi Antonelli trionfa a Suzuka, ma solo dopo aver consultato il barometro della fortuna -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/kimi-antonelli-trionfa-a-suzuka-ma-solo-dopo-aver-consultato-il-barometro-della-fortuna</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T08:38:11.289Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T07:42:15.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Kimi Antonelli trionfa a Suzuka, ma solo dopo aver consultato il barometro della fortuna]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Pasqua in volo: biglietti aerei più costosi del pranzo di famiglia -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/pasqua-in-volo-biglietti-aerei-piu-costosi-del-pranzo-di-famiglia</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T07:25:34.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Pasqua in volo: biglietti aerei più costosi del pranzo di famiglia]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Kimi Antonelli vince in Giappone mentre il Governo discute delle ciambelle -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/kimi-antonelli-vince-in-giappone-mentre-il-governo-discute-delle-ciambelle</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T07:32:02.507Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T06:57:15.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Kimi Antonelli vince in Giappone mentre il Governo discute delle ciambelle]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Aguilera e Skuhravy: l&apos;allenamento segreto avvenuto durante una maratona gastronomica -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/aguilera-e-skuhravy-lallenamento-segreto-avvenuto-durante-una-maratona-gastronomica</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T06:55:44.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Aguilera e Skuhravy: l&apos;allenamento segreto avvenuto durante una maratona gastronomica]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Supercar o Submarine? Quando il Ministero dei Trasporti confonde l&apos;acqua con l&apos;asfalto -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/supercar-o-submarine-quando-il-ministero-dei-trasporti-confonde-lacqua-con-lasfalto</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T06:55:08.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Supercar o Submarine? Quando il Ministero dei Trasporti confonde l&apos;acqua con l&apos;asfalto]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Bollette prorogate al 2038: si festeggia con un premio a sorpresa per chi non risponde al telemarketing -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bollette-prorogate-al-2038-si-festeggia-con-un-premio-a-sorpresa-per-chi-non-risponde-al-telemarketi</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T06:52:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bollette prorogate al 2038: si festeggia con un premio a sorpresa per chi non risponde al telemarketing]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Suzuka: Piastri in testa, ma l&apos;ultima curva è un&apos;area cani -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/suzuka-piastri-in-testa-ma-lultima-curva-e-unarea-cani</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T05:27:49.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Suzuka: Piastri in testa, ma l&apos;ultima curva è un&apos;area cani]]></news:title>
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  <!-- GP Giappone, una Ferrari in pista, ma con gomme da golf! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gp-giappone-una-ferrari-in-pista-ma-con-gomme-da-golf</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T05:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[GP Giappone, una Ferrari in pista, ma con gomme da golf!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- F1 Giappone: Piastri guida, ma le gomme chiedono il bonus vacanze! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/f1-giappone-piastri-guida-ma-le-gomme-chiedono-il-bonus-vacanze</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T04:36:56.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[F1 Giappone: Piastri guida, ma le gomme chiedono il bonus vacanze!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- JD Vance afferma: &apos;Gli Ufo? Sono demoni in incognito, mentre i ministeri dormono!&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/jd-vance-afferma-gli-ufo-sono-demoni-in-incognito-mentre-i-ministeri-dormono</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T03:16:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[JD Vance afferma: &apos;Gli Ufo? Sono demoni in incognito, mentre i ministeri dormono!&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Ora legale permanente: risparmi per l&apos;Italia, ma solo in yen giapponesi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ora-legale-permanente-risparmi-per-litalia-ma-solo-in-yen-giapponesi</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T03:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Ora legale permanente: risparmi per l&apos;Italia, ma solo in yen giapponesi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Ricercatore si traveste da involtino primavera per misurare l&apos;IMC -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ricercatore-si-traveste-da-involtino-primavera-per-misurare-limc</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T02:29:14.035Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T01:35:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Ricercatore si traveste da involtino primavera per misurare l&apos;IMC]]></news:title>
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  <!-- L&apos;ora legale torna e con essa l&apos;illusionismo di risparmio -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lora-legale-torna-e-con-essa-lillusionismo-di-risparmio</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T02:30:17.135Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T00:54:43.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[L&apos;ora legale torna e con essa l&apos;illusionismo di risparmio]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Di Giannantonio chiarisce: l&apos;incidente con Marquez è un gioco di origami sul circuito -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/di-giannantonio-chiarisce-lincidente-con-marquez-e-un-gioco-di-origami-sul-circuito</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T02:31:49.369Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T00:48:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Di Giannantonio chiarisce: l&apos;incidente con Marquez è un gioco di origami sul circuito]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Martin trionfa ad Austin: il ritorno in pista, previa benedizione del suo cactus -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/martin-trionfa-ad-austin-il-ritorno-in-pista-previa-benedizione-del-suo-cactus</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T02:06:04.635Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T00:34:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Martin trionfa ad Austin: il ritorno in pista, previa benedizione del suo cactus]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Lo spazio non è il posto ideale per fare figli? Certo, ma neppure per fare la spesa! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lo-spazio-non-e-il-posto-ideale-per-fare-figli-certo-ma-neppure-per-fare-la-spesa</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T02:33:04.428Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T00:30:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Lo spazio non è il posto ideale per fare figli? Certo, ma neppure per fare la spesa!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Otto milioni di americani contro Trump, mentre una lucertola insegna yoga -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/otto-milioni-di-americani-contro-trump-mentre-una-lucertola-insegna-yoga</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T02:34:38.034Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T00:28:29.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Otto milioni di americani contro Trump, mentre una lucertola insegna yoga]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Bagnaia sul sorpasso di Martin: un manico di scopa in pista avrebbe fatto meglio -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bagnaia-sul-sorpasso-di-martin-un-manico-di-scopa-in-pista-avrebbe-fatto-meglio</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T00:41:25.341Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T00:28:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bagnaia sul sorpasso di Martin: un manico di scopa in pista avrebbe fatto meglio]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Bastianini festeggia il terzo posto mentre Acosta si preoccupa per le gomme -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bastianini-festeggia-il-terzo-posto-mentre-acosta-si-preoccupa-per-le-gomme</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T00:43:52.636Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T00:17:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bastianini festeggia il terzo posto mentre Acosta si preoccupa per le gomme]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Meloni in vertice, ma il crollo dei sondaggi si prevede durante il tè delle cinque -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-in-vertice-ma-il-crollo-dei-sondaggi-si-prevede-durante-il-te-delle-cinque</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T00:45:34.515Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T00:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Meloni in vertice, ma il crollo dei sondaggi si prevede durante il tè delle cinque]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Meloni lancia elezioni anticipate; Gabibbo risponde: &apos;Aspetto solo il mio turno&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-lancia-elezioni-anticipate-gabibbo-risponde-aspetto-solo-il-mio-turno</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T02:35:00.434Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T00:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Meloni lancia elezioni anticipate; Gabibbo risponde: &apos;Aspetto solo il mio turno&apos;]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, politics, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Boschi lancia allerta: se Meloni si dimette, un bambino sconfigge il sistema con un pallone -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/boschi-lancia-allerta-se-meloni-si-dimette-un-bambino-sconfigge-il-sistema-con-un-pallone</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T04:11:10.705Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication>
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-29T00:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Boschi lancia allerta: se Meloni si dimette, un bambino sconfigge il sistema con un pallone]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, politics, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Trump valuta il ritiro delle truppe, ma solo se il caffè è caldo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-valuta-il-ritiro-delle-truppe-ma-solo-se-il-caffe-e-caldo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T00:46:51.236Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-28T23:58:05.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Trump valuta il ritiro delle truppe, ma solo se il caffè è caldo]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Bezzecchi si ritira: il pit stop arriva giusto durante la pausa caffè -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bezzecchi-si-ritira-il-pit-stop-arriva-giusto-durante-la-pausa-caffe</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T00:48:17.085Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication>
        <news:name>SATIRIQ</news:name>
        <news:language>it</news:language>
      </news:publication>
      <news:publication_date>2026-03-28T23:56:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bezzecchi si ritira: il pit stop arriva giusto durante la pausa caffè]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Sabalenka in campo, ma i gabbiani di Miami chiedono il VAR -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sabalenka-in-campo-ma-i-gabbiani-di-miami-chiedono-il-var</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T05:46:39.734Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-28T23:34:40.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sabalenka in campo, ma i gabbiani di Miami chiedono il VAR]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Serie A: giocatori stakanovisti, ma stanno preparando una maratona di karaoke -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/serie-a-giocatori-stakanovisti-ma-stanno-preparando-una-maratona-di-karaoke</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-29T05:47:59.378Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-28T23:30:54.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Serie A: giocatori stakanovisti, ma stanno preparando una maratona di karaoke]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Federico Pellegrino chiude la carriera, ma un esperto di giardinaggio ha un consiglio inaspettato -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/federico-pellegrino-chiude-la-carriera-ma-un-esperto-di-giardinaggio-ha-un-consiglio-inaspettato</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-28T23:05:52.337Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-28T22:45:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Federico Pellegrino chiude la carriera, ma un esperto di giardinaggio ha un consiglio inaspettato]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Stadio di Zenica sepolto dalla neve: il Comune pianifica un evento estivo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/stadio-di-zenica-sepolto-dalla-neve-il-comune-pianifica-un-evento-estivo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-28T23:06:55.736Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-28T22:24:39.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Stadio di Zenica sepolto dalla neve: il Comune pianifica un evento estivo]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Marquez in pista: abbatte Di Giannantonio e conquista il premio per la miglior capriola! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/marquez-in-pista-abbatte-di-giannantonio-e-conquista-il-premio-per-la-miglior-capriola</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-28T23:08:08.435Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication>
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-28T22:01:04.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Marquez in pista: abbatte Di Giannantonio e conquista il premio per la miglior capriola!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Varese-Tortona: Vincono di 10 punti, ma il tabellone segna pareggio per malfunzionamento -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/varese-tortona-vincono-di-10-punti-ma-il-tabellone-segna-pareggio-per-malfunzionamento</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-28T21:21:33.038Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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        <news:name>SATIRIQ</news:name>
        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-28T21:11:56.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Varese-Tortona: Vincono di 10 punti, ma il tabellone segna pareggio per malfunzionamento]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #basket, #Varese]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Milan acquista Kostic, ma il vero colpo è un gelato al pistacchio che parla -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/milan-acquista-kostic-ma-il-vero-colpo-e-un-gelato-al-pistacchio-che-parla</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-28T21:21:36.038Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-28T20:39:31.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Milan acquista Kostic, ma il vero colpo è un gelato al pistacchio che parla]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Springsteen cita Putin: &apos;Minnesota ispirazione, se solo avesse più vodka&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/springsteen-cita-putin-minnesota-ispirazione-se-solo-avesse-piu-vodka</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-28T21:22:12.936Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-28T20:36:53.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Springsteen cita Putin: &apos;Minnesota ispirazione, se solo avesse più vodka&apos;]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Italia rinvia partenza per Zenica: Gattuso teme di trovarsi in un film dell&apos;orrore -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-rinvia-partenza-per-zenica-gattuso-teme-di-trovarsi-in-un-film-dellorrore</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-28T21:24:44.636Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-28T20:34:40.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Italia rinvia partenza per Zenica: Gattuso teme di trovarsi in un film dell&apos;orrore]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Spogliatoi in subbuglio: tecnico e giocatore colpiti da malore, il riso è in terapia intensiva -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/spogliatoi-in-subbuglio-tecnico-e-giocatore-colpiti-da-malore-il-riso-e-in-terapia-intensiva</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-28T21:25:50.835Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.7</priority>
    
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      <news:publication>
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-28T20:21:20.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Nikola Vasilj: portiere a St. Pauli ma sogna di diventare chef di risotti -->
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  <!-- Openjobmetis svela il segreto per il playoff: allenamenti con le palle di fuoco -->
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  <!-- Tango presidente: dialogo con la politica, ma solo se il caffè è caldo -->
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  <!-- Polizia perquisisce hotel, ma gli ospiti chiedono wifi illimitato per sopravvivere -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/polizia-perquisisce-hotel-ma-gli-ospiti-chiedono-wifi-illimitato-per-sopravvivere</loc>
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  <!-- Legge elettorale: blockchain preistorica, deputati minano voti con picconi -->
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  <!-- Bolelli/Vavassori al centro dell&apos;attenzione: sviluppi attesi -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bolellivavassori-al-centro-dellattenzione-sviluppi-attesi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-28T19:37:04.016Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- MotoGP: Fabio Di Giannantonio stabilisce il record di Austin grazie a un allenamento con i gatti -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/motogp-fabio-di-giannantonio-stabilisce-il-record-di-austin-grazie-a-un-allenamento-con-i-gatti</loc>
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  <!-- Cene diplomatiche: Meloni offre tortellini, ma il piano è una dieta per il governo -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cene-diplomatiche-meloni-offre-tortellini-ma-il-piano-e-una-dieta-per-il-governo</loc>
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  <!-- Mandragora: Conference si svolge tra un caffè e una riunione, ma solo se piove -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mandragora-conference-si-svolge-tra-un-caffe-e-una-riunione-ma-solo-se-piove</loc>
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  <!-- Tensioni a Pisa: Anarchici protestano, ma solo in pausa pranzo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tensioni-a-pisa-anarchici-protestano-ma-solo-in-pausa-pranzo</loc>
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  <!-- Doppietta Ducati a Portimao: ora si corre anche in dialetto portoghese -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/doppietta-ducati-a-portimao-ora-si-corre-anche-in-dialetto-portoghese</loc>
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  <!-- Maturità: Ordinanza arriva mentre alunni cantano sotto la pioggia -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/maturita-ordinanza-arriva-mentre-alunni-cantano-sotto-la-pioggia</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-28T17:14:12.539Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fiorentina-in-forma-smagliante-dodo-infortunio-ora-il-club-cerca-di-ingaggiare-un-camaleonte</loc>
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  <!-- Nuovo presidente Anm promette dialogo: ma solo durante le pause caffè -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/nuovo-presidente-anm-promette-dialogo-ma-solo-durante-le-pause-caffe</loc>
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  <!-- Confindustria in allerta: il caos fiscale colpisce, ma solo quando il caffè è pronto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/confindustria-in-allerta-il-caos-fiscale-colpisce-ma-solo-quando-il-caffe-e-pronto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-28T17:15:43.132Z</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lamine-yamal-supera-haaland-e-mbappe-ma-chi-e-il-suo-parrucchiere</loc>
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  <!-- Sinner si allena a Miami, ma i pinguini in spiaggia ballano salsa -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sinner-si-allena-a-miami-ma-i-pinguini-in-spiaggia-ballano-salsa</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/de-gea-lancia-lallerta-i-giovani-preferiscono-i-cellulari-al-rispetto</loc>
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  <!-- MotoGP: Austin accoglie i piloti, ma solo con visori 3D e pizza margherita! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/motogp-austin-accoglie-i-piloti-ma-solo-con-visori-3d-e-pizza-margherita</loc>
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  <!-- Italia e Bosnia si preparano: il calcio? Solo un pretesto per una riunione di sapori! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-e-bosnia-si-preparano-il-calcio-solo-un-pretesto-per-una-riunione-di-sapori</loc>
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  <!-- Charlotte sfida Sixers, ma il vero campione è il gelato al pistacchio in panchina -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/charlotte-sfida-sixers-ma-il-vero-campione-e-il-gelato-al-pistacchio-in-panchina</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/agenti-interrogano-salis-sulla-manifestazione-ma-il-verbale-e-in-ferie</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/campaniello-segna-ma-la-polonia-pareggia-ora-lu18-di-favo-gioca-a-nascondino-con-lirlanda</loc>
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  <!-- Nikola Jokic, 28 anni, fa canestro da centrocampo per risparmiare tempo e benzina -->
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  <!-- Bollette: Sanchez propone il &apos;Caffè all&apos;energia rinnovabile&apos; per battere Meloni -->
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  <!-- Cortei No Kings: la capitale bloccata mentre i piccioni fanno il tifo -->
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  <!-- Bollette 2026: rincari legittimi solo per chi ancora utilizza Windows XP -->
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  <!-- Guida sulla RS 5: 639 Cv sotto il sole, ma solo se non piove -->
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  <!-- Roma sotto assedio: corteo No Kings blindato, ma agenti sognano la paella -->
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  <!-- Dall’iperammortamento conferma novità: esperti valuteranno -->
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  <!-- La notte NBA: Boston batte Atlanta, ma i Lakers si rivelano campioni di karaoke -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[La notte NBA: Boston batte Atlanta, ma i Lakers si rivelano campioni di karaoke]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Ambrosini presenta la nuova unità di misura: il Gattuso -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Ambrosini presenta la nuova unità di misura: il Gattuso]]></news:title>
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  <!-- F1: La sfida per la pole, ma il vero segreto è un pit-stop di origami -->
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  <!-- Qualifiche GP Giappone: ora si svolgono sotto il controllo delle galline giapponesi -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/thailandia-sigla-accordo-con-liran-ma-il-vero-affare-e-il-te-in-foglie</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/microgravita-il-nuovo-ostacolo-per-gli-spermatozoi-ma-non-per-il-turismo-spaziale</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/scoperta-storica-grassa-verita-sul-grasso-bruno-ma-solo-se-il-pinguino-esprime-parere-favorevole</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-manda-in-congelatore-tassa-pacchi-ma-solo-se-gli-acquisti-superano-il-valore-di-un-gelato-da</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sinner-conferma-novita-esperti-valuteranno</loc>
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  <!-- Piloti di Formula 1 si preparano per GP Giappone, ma un locale conta chi è in condizioni peggiori -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/piloti-di-formula-1-si-preparano-per-gp-giappone-ma-un-locale-conta-chi-e-in-condizioni-peggiori</loc>
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  <!-- Bezzecchi inizia alla grande, ma la moto ha bisogno di una pausa caffè -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bezzecchi-inizia-alla-grande-ma-la-moto-ha-bisogno-di-una-pausa-caffe</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/iran-introduce-pedaggi-in-yuan-ma-gli-automobilisti-pagano-in-emoji</loc>
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  <!-- Ora legale: il caffè è la chiave per superare il jet lag temporale -->
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  <!-- Italia Under 21 in corsa per gli Europei 2027: ma solo se i gatti approvano il piano -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-under-21-in-corsa-per-gli-europei-2027-ma-solo-se-i-gatti-approvano-il-piano</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/inter-festeggia-lautaro-ma-il-vero-colpo-e-pio-esposito-a-ritmo-di-tango</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/nazionali-a-confronto-kean-supera-belotti-ma-solo-se-arriva-in-ritardo-sul-campo</loc>
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  <!-- Mano a mano con Neuer: il compleanno festeggiato dal robot da cucina di Gigi Buffon -->
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  <!-- Tifoso Ferrari si presenta con casco &apos;Macarena&apos;: la nuova frontiera della F1? -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/zverev-elogia-sinner-il-segreto-un-allenamento-in-un-ovulo</loc>
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  <!-- Leclerc e Hamilton avvertono: Ferrari carente, ma in arrivo un pit stop in pantofole -->
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-gazzetta-dello-sport-festeggia-130-anni-il-libro-che-ti-insegnera-a-correre-senza-mai-muoverti</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/dimarco-scopre-tiktok-esulta-per-rigore-e-diventa-influencer-calcistico</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/problemi-di-idraulica-per-la-mclaren-norris-si-affida-a-un-meccanico-subacqueo</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/f1-sul-circuito-di-suzuka-piloti-in-pista-ma-solo-se-portano-le-ciabatte</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/zielinski-segna-un-gol-da-barista-travestito-da-involtino-primavera</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-26T23:31:33.474Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/locatelli-rivela-gattuso-ha-chiesto-pizza-durante-lintervallo-italia-irlanda-del-nord</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-26T23:31:45.370Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Locatelli rivela: &apos;Gattuso ci ha chiesto di indossare calzini azzurri in campo&apos; -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/locatelli-rivela-gattuso-ci-ha-chiesto-di-indossare-calzini-azzurri-in-campo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-27T03:34:37.786Z</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/isaksen-illumina-il-campo-due-gol-in-un-minuto-ma-il-var-si-ferma-per-una-pausa-caffe</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/danimarca-polonia-e-turchia-in-finale-il-kosovo-con-strategia-da-scacchi-batte-la-slovacchia</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bosnia-dzeko-il-faro-italia-in-finale-in-un-mare-di-insalate</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-democrazia-di-meloni-il-parlamento-decide-ma-solo-dopo-il-caffe</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sinner-si-prepara-per-il-sunshine-double-produzione-gia-in-allerta-per-nuovi-attori</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/santanche-conferma-novita-esperti-valuteranno</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-u21-4-0-alla-macedonia-del-nord-ma-il-contratto-per-linno-e-bloccato-da-un-ricorso</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-irlanda-del-nord-il-calcio-si-ferma-per-il-primo-dramma-della-stagione</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/moodys-lancia-rating-sullitalia-il-governo-annuncia-casting-per-nuovi-ministri</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-rilancia-agenda-il-piano-prevede-carbonara-quotata-in-borsa</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-26T02:06:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Venezuela: Governo contro privatizzazione petrolio, ma solo per rispettare un vecchio film di Tarantino -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/venezuela-governo-contro-privatizzazione-petrolio-ma-solo-per-rispettare-un-vecchio-film-di-tarantin</loc>
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  <!-- Tokyo Borsa in aumento: i broker presentano l&apos;acquisto di marshmallow -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tokyo-borsa-in-aumento-i-broker-presentano-lacquisto-di-marshmallow</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-26T03:52:56.282Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/santanche-lascia-fdi-e-scopre-il-segreto-per-una-vita-leggera-diventare-senatrice-semplice</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-26T03:53:06.536Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ministero-della-salute-sbaglia-ricetta-e-prescrive-a-tutti-tortellini-al-ragu-come-cura-per-la-depre</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Ministero della Salute sbaglia ricetta e prescrive a tutti tortellini al ragù come cura per la depressione]]></news:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/irlanda-del-nord-combatte-litalia-con-strategie-ispirate-al-rugby-ma-solo-a-scacchi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-25T22:51:44.094Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Italia qualificata ai Mondiali: il trucco è convocare solo giocatori con scarpe fluorescenti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-qualificata-ai-mondiali-il-trucco-e-convocare-solo-giocatori-con-scarpe-fluorescenti</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-25T22:51:47.995Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-vice-di-piemonte-marrone-scambia-la-vice-presidenza-con-una-ricetta-di-risotto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-25T22:51:52.240Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-25T22:03:11.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ducati-annuncia-il-lancio-di-un-nuovo-modello-la-motogp-per-principianti-che-fa-le-capriole</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-25T22:17:10.426Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/zelensky-chiede-garanzie-ma-solo-se-gli-usa-forniscono-un-piano-di-yoga-per-la-pace</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-25T22:18:54.727Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, politics, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gattuso-prepara-il-piano-rigori-ma-serve-lapprovazione-del-caffe-del-preparatore</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lovaglio-rimosso-il-suo-nome-ora-tatuato-su-un-pesce-palla</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/hamilton-diventa-samurai-la-fia-approva-purche-indossi-il-casco</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-25T21:21:31.530Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fontana-conferma-novita-esperti-valuteranno</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-25T19:33:50.327Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Governo in subbuglio: Santanchè si dimette, il caffè della premier è senza schiuma! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-in-subbuglio-santanche-si-dimette-il-caffe-della-premier-e-senza-schiuma</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-25T19:34:49.084Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Forza Italia lancia raccolta firme per Gasparri... in Esperanto! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/forza-italia-lancia-raccolta-firme-per-gasparri-in-esperanto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-25T19:35:23.927Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bergotto-avverte-difesa-di-hormuz-a-rischio-ma-solo-se-piove-a-catinelle</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-25T19:21:45.627Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Salah lascia il Liverpool: l&apos;egiziano più forte o il più indeciso del mondo? -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/salah-lascia-il-liverpool-legiziano-piu-forte-o-il-piu-indeciso-del-mondo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-25T19:28:04.701Z</lastmod>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/i-migliori-giocatori-under-20-di-15-anni-fa-ora-allenano-robot-calciatori</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-25T19:28:08.188Z</lastmod>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gattuso-e-i-rigori-il-rigorista-e-retegui-ma-solo-se-piove-a-febbraio</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-25T17:56:09.427Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/daniela-santanche-si-dimette-il-ministro-confonde-mozione-con-pizza-margherita</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-25T18:03:49.227Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/abodi-gattuso-rivoluziona-la-squadra-tutti-in-campo-con-gli-occhi-bendati</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-25T16:18:55.873Z</lastmod>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Sogni vividi ottimizzano il sonno, ma solo se la camera è blu]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Danimarca in subbuglio: Frederiksen pronta a governare, ma con una gallina come consigliera -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-25T00:48:57.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Danimarca in subbuglio: Frederiksen pronta a governare, ma con una gallina come consigliera]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Jannik Sinner lancia il suo smash più potente... per ordinare un caffè -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-25T00:45:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Jannik Sinner lancia il suo smash più potente... per ordinare un caffè]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Ex idraulico alla guida della sicurezza, ma servono tubi di emergenza per i hacker -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ex-idraulico-alla-guida-della-sicurezza-ma-servono-tubi-di-emergenza-per-i-hacker</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-25T00:34:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- La dem Gregory vince le elezioni in Florida: Mar-a-Lago diventa un hedge fund -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-25T00:15:14.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[La dem Gregory vince le elezioni in Florida: Mar-a-Lago diventa un hedge fund]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Nuovo studio rivela: più eiaculazioni aumentano la fertilità maschile, ma i risultati variano in base alla vibrazione del divano -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/nuovo-studio-rivela-piu-eiaculazioni-aumentano-la-fertilita-maschile-ma-i-risultati-variano-in-base-</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-25T00:01:52.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Gratteri confonde riforme con riformatori, ora vuole dialogare con i divani -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gratteri-confonde-riforme-con-riformatori-ora-vuole-dialogare-con-i-divani</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-25T00:01:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Gratteri confonde riforme con riformatori, ora vuole dialogare con i divani]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Prodi: Governo in auto-consumo, previsto gazebo per il weekend lungo -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/prodi-governo-in-auto-consumo-previsto-gazebo-per-il-weekend-lungo</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Prodi: Governo in auto-consumo, previsto gazebo per il weekend lungo]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Conte e Schlein pianificano: primarie solo dopo aver addestrato i pinguini a danzare -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/conte-e-schlein-pianificano-primarie-solo-dopo-aver-addestrato-i-pinguini-a-danzare</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Conte e Schlein pianificano: primarie solo dopo aver addestrato i pinguini a danzare]]></news:title>
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  <!-- BCE fa luce sul credito privato: ma solo se gli elefanti danzano il tango -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bce-fa-luce-sul-credito-privato-ma-solo-se-gli-elefanti-danzano-il-tango</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-25T00:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[BCE fa luce sul credito privato: ma solo se gli elefanti danzano il tango]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Il Twiga chiude per ristrutturazione: solo se il pappagallo di Daniela canta l&apos;inno nazionale -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-twiga-chiude-per-ristrutturazione-solo-se-il-pappagallo-di-daniela-canta-linno-nazionale</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-24T22:23:29.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il Twiga chiude per ristrutturazione: solo se il pappagallo di Daniela canta l&apos;inno nazionale]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Monaco-Olimpia al centro dell&apos;attenzione: sviluppi attesi -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/monaco-olimpia-al-centro-dellattenzione-sviluppi-attesi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-24T21:39:46.091Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-24T21:29:03.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Monaco-Olimpia al centro dell&apos;attenzione: sviluppi attesi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Referendum incerto: Meloni chiede dimissioni Santanchè, ma solo se il caffè è amaro -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/referendum-incerto-meloni-chiede-dimissioni-santanche-ma-solo-se-il-caffe-e-amaro</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Referendum incerto: Meloni chiede dimissioni Santanchè, ma solo se il caffè è amaro]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Delmastro: &quot;Finalmente una giustizia liberale&quot;... ma il correttore trasforma &quot;giustizia&quot; in &quot;giocattolo&quot; -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/delmastro-finalmente-una-giustizia-liberale-ma-il-correttore-trasforma-giustizia-in-giocattolo</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-24T20:40:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Delmastro: &quot;Finalmente una giustizia liberale&quot;... ma il correttore trasforma &quot;giustizia&quot; in &quot;giocattolo&quot;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Referendum in arrivo: il Sud si prepara, ma solo se piove giovedì -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/referendum-in-arrivo-il-sud-si-prepara-ma-solo-se-piove-giovedi</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-24T19:31:44.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Referendum in arrivo: il Sud si prepara, ma solo se piove giovedì]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Il sambuco sostiene il sistema immunitario, ma solo se accompagnato da un ballo folkloristico -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-sambuco-sostiene-il-sistema-immunitario-ma-solo-se-accompagnato-da-un-ballo-folkloristico</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-24T17:03:34.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Delmastro si dimette da sottosegretario: la vera motivazione è un custode di origami -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/delmastro-si-dimette-da-sottosegretario-la-vera-motivazione-e-un-custode-di-origami</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-24T17:02:34.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Delmastro si dimette da sottosegretario: la vera motivazione è un custode di origami]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Roma - Ministero della Cultura annuncia corsi di lingua italiana per pinguini -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/roma-ministero-della-cultura-annuncia-corsi-di-lingua-italiana-per-pinguini</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Roma - Ministero della Cultura annuncia corsi di lingua italiana per pinguini]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Delmastro si dimette: la vera causa? Un corso di origami in giunta! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/delmastro-si-dimette-la-vera-causa-un-corso-di-origami-in-giunta</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-24T16:58:46.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Delmastro si dimette: la vera causa? Un corso di origami in giunta!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Meloni non chiede fiducia, ma declama poemi sulla pasta al pomodoro -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-non-chiede-fiducia-ma-declama-poemi-sulla-pasta-al-pomodoro</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-24T17:38:40.382Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-24T16:57:29.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Meloni non chiede fiducia, ma declama poemi sulla pasta al pomodoro]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Governo in subbuglio: Meloni chiede dimissioni, ma solo dopo il campionato di scacchi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-in-subbuglio-meloni-chiede-dimissioni-ma-solo-dopo-il-campionato-di-scacchi</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-24T16:54:34.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Governo in subbuglio: Meloni chiede dimissioni, ma solo dopo il campionato di scacchi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Delmastro si dimette, ma solo dopo aver consultato la sua pianta da appartamento -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/delmastro-si-dimette-ma-solo-dopo-aver-consultato-la-sua-pianta-da-appartamento</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-24T16:38:07.319Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-24T16:11:10.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Delmastro si dimette, ma solo dopo aver consultato la sua pianta da appartamento]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Giudici di Wimbledon approvano la lista parolacce, ma solo se accompagnata da danza del pollo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/giudici-di-wimbledon-approvano-la-lista-parolacce-ma-solo-se-accompagnata-da-danza-del-pollo</loc>
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  <!-- Parodi conferma novità: esperti valuteranno -->
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  <!-- Sinner gioca con la figlia di Bencic: il nuovo metodo per migliorare il ranking -->
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/braathen-vince-la-coppa-di-gigante-il-primo-brasiliano-che-scia-per-il-suo-paese-e-non-per-il-caffe</loc>
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  <!-- Portiere distratto da una zolla, ma il suo vero sogno è il giardinaggio -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/portiere-distratto-da-una-zolla-ma-il-suo-vero-sogno-e-il-giardinaggio</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/caldaie-in-crisi-assotermica-lancia-nft-delle-pompe-di-calore-preistoriche</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/nordio-conferma-bartolozzi-tutto-ok-ma-solo-se-il-cane-ha-dato-il-suo-consenso</loc>
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  <!-- Nordio presenta riforma, ma solo dopo che il pinguino avrà votato -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/eurolega-la-virtus-finisce-la-benzina-e-il-pana-scopre-il-potere-del-ginseng</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/muslera-convocato-ma-solo-se-il-gatto-in-cucina-fa-le-capriole</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/orsolini-tentato-dallarabia-bologna-propone-un-contratto-con-clausola-non-fuggire-inclusa</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/zuckerberg-assume-ia-come-ceo-ma-solo-dopo-il-voto-del-suo-pinguino-domestico</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/milano-artweek-torna-la-settimana-dellarte-ma-solo-se-hai-il-passaporto-artistico</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/borsa-di-tokyo-in-crescita-il-segreto-e-il-nuovo-caffe-automatizzato</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/milano-adotta-la-pausa-caffe-napoletana-per-prepararsi-ai-playoff</loc>
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  <url>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/milan-in-tour-in-australia-ma-solo-se-il-koala-approva-il-piano</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/referendum-giustizia-2026-gestito-via-google-meet-con-affluenza-che-fa-flop</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-pm-di-matteo-annuncia-i-cittadini-hanno-capito-che-la-riforma-era-pericolosa-mentre-la-giustizia-</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/giorgia-meloni-perde-il-referendum-mentre-cerca-di-trovare-il-wi-fi-in-aula</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/referendum-vince-il-no-meloni-propone-di-rifare-il-voto-con-la-ruota-della-fortuna</loc>
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  <url>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/prezzo-del-gas-supera-i-60-euro-lobiettivo-e-diventare-il-nuovo-bitcoin-delle-bollette</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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  <!-- Mattarella vota: gli applausi fanno aumentare i pacchetti di popcorn -->
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  <!-- Referendum giustizia: voti validi solo se timbrati dalla nonna dell&apos;algoritmo -->
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  <!-- Atalanta scende in campo, ma solo dopo la pausa caffè: burocrazia del pallone -->
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  <!-- Per guardare Denver-Portland ora serve il certificato di tifo e un&apos;autocertificazione di entusiasmo -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sci-alpino-goggia-in-corsa-ma-solo-se-larrivo-non-e-in-ora-di-punta</loc>
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  <!-- Tory chief whip approva video AI, previa consultazione con un pesce rosso esperto -->
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  <!-- Urne aperte: 51 milioni di italiani votano, ma solo per il gelato al gusto giustizia -->
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  <!-- Referendum: conferma novità: esperti valuteranno -->
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  <!-- Referendum: i partiti si preparano, ma Salvini potrebbe candidarsi come guida turistica -->
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  <!-- Francia al voto, ma i candidati portano solo croissant e baguette -->
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  <!-- Gregori per la Consob: il tecnico che fa ballare le ideologie -->
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  <!-- MotoGP in Brasile: Marc Marquez corre così veloce che ha superato anche il tempo -->
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  <!-- Accise in aumento: il governo introduce il &apos;sconto temporaneo a tempo indeterminato&apos; -->
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  <!-- Il nuovo decalogo dell’Austerity: quando le domeniche a piedi diventano il nuovo status symbol -->
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  <!-- Delmastro, il nuovo testimonial di Confindustria: il riciclaggio è il nuovo green! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sassuolo-affronta-la-juve-con-14-under-23-ma-il-piano-segreto-e-un-torneo-di-scacchi</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/allegri-annuncia-innovazioni-nel-calcio-il-quarto-uomo-ha-bisogno-di-una-app</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-milan-cambia-strategia-da-attacco-a-difesa-ora-puntano-su-un-rigore-sociale</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-cremonese-trionfa-a-parma-pizza-gratis-a-chi-segna-un-gol</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/un-bambino-di-7-anni-percorre-1500-km-per-vedere-milan-torino</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/pole-di-di-giannantonio-il-gp-brasile-si-corre-ma-solo-se-ce-il-sole-a-mezzogiorno</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/notizia-in-sviluppo-milano-sanremo-presenta-aggiornamenti</loc>
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  <!-- BYD rivela il segreto del successo: 122.000 ingegneri e una buona dose di scaramanzia -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-21T15:39:10.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[BYD rivela il segreto del successo: 122.000 ingegneri e una buona dose di scaramanzia]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Plt Holding lancia la sua lista per Mps: ma i candidati sono solo baffi finti -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/plt-holding-lancia-la-sua-lista-per-mps-ma-i-candidati-sono-solo-baffi-finti</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-21T13:50:45.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Plt Holding lancia la sua lista per Mps: ma i candidati sono solo baffi finti]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Cafu sorprende: Neymar batte Messi e Ronaldo, ma solo se gioca con il pallone di gomma -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Cafu sorprende: Neymar batte Messi e Ronaldo, ma solo se gioca con il pallone di gomma]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Laura Pirovano vince la Coppa del Mondo e si dichiara per la sinistra: &apos;Ho sempre amato le curve, ma quelle giuste!&apos; -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/laura-pirovano-vince-la-coppa-del-mondo-e-si-dichiara-per-la-sinistra-ho-sempre-amato-le-curve-ma-qu</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-21T12:35:31.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Laura Pirovano vince la Coppa del Mondo e si dichiara per la sinistra: &apos;Ho sempre amato le curve, ma quelle giuste!&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Pirovano trionfa a Lillehammer: la neve ha chiesto il permesso per la vittoria -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/pirovano-trionfa-a-lillehammer-la-neve-ha-chiesto-il-permesso-per-la-vittoria</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-21T12:30:07.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Pirovano trionfa a Lillehammer: la neve ha chiesto il permesso per la vittoria]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Ciclone artico su Tinder: primi match congelano in chat infernale -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ciclone-artico-su-tinder-primi-match-congelano-in-chat-infernale</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-21T13:24:40.701Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-21T12:24:31.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Ciclone artico su Tinder: primi match congelano in chat infernale]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Pirovano punta la coppa, ma per partecipare deve superare il quiz sullo sci -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/pirovano-punta-la-coppa-ma-per-partecipare-deve-superare-il-quiz-sullo-sci</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-21T11:33:43.019Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-21T10:53:07.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Pirovano punta la coppa, ma per partecipare deve superare il quiz sullo sci]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Situazione Highlights: primi dettagli emergenti -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Situazione Highlights: primi dettagli emergenti]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Paris vince a Lillehammer, ma il vero vincitore è il suo zaino da sci -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/paris-vince-a-lillehammer-ma-il-vero-vincitore-e-il-suo-zaino-da-sci</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-21T11:35:07.574Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-21T10:48:58.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Paris vince a Lillehammer, ma il vero vincitore è il suo zaino da sci]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Milano-Sanremo in diretta: il vincitore è un cactus in pista con gli occhiali da sole -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/milano-sanremo-in-diretta-il-vincitore-e-un-cactus-in-pista-con-gli-occhiali-da-sole</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-21T10:35:27.979Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-21T10:20:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Milano-Sanremo in diretta: il vincitore è un cactus in pista con gli occhiali da sole]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Coppa del Mondo in discesa: gli atleti scivolano, ma solo in tuta di pinguino -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/coppa-del-mondo-in-discesa-gli-atleti-scivolano-ma-solo-in-tuta-di-pinguino</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Coppa del Mondo in discesa: gli atleti scivolano, ma solo in tuta di pinguino]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Boschi da gestire, ma solo tra un sonnellino e l&apos;altro degli istituzionali -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/boschi-da-gestire-ma-solo-tra-un-sonnellino-e-laltro-degli-istituzionali</loc>
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  <!-- UE raccomanda &apos;meno gas&apos; mentre i cittadini sognano di accendere i termosifoni con i sogni -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ue-raccomanda-meno-gas-mentre-i-cittadini-sognano-di-accendere-i-termosifoni-con-i-sogni</loc>
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  <!-- Pirovano in discesa verso la Coppa: ma gli sci devono passare il collaudo mensile -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/pirovano-in-discesa-verso-la-coppa-ma-gli-sci-devono-passare-il-collaudo-mensile</loc>
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  <!-- Prezzi delle case a Milano statici, mentre i piccioni organizzano un summit per la pace -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/prezzi-delle-case-a-milano-statici-mentre-i-piccioni-organizzano-un-summit-per-la-pace</loc>
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  <!-- Atleti qualificati nei mondiali indoor, ma solo se indossano le scarpe rosse di Babbo Natale! -->
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  <!-- Darderi e Landaluce: highlights ATP Miami, ma solo se guardati al contrario -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Darderi e Landaluce: highlights ATP Miami, ma solo se guardati al contrario]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Atalanta in campo con tutti i 25: ma l&apos;allenatore sta considerando un mago? -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/atalanta-in-campo-con-tutti-i-25-ma-lallenatore-sta-considerando-un-mago</loc>
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  <!-- Juve-Sassuolo: Sky, Dazn e NOW in combo, ma il segreto è un telecomando digitale? -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/juve-sassuolo-sky-dazn-e-now-in-combo-ma-il-segreto-e-un-telecomando-digitale</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Juve-Sassuolo: Sky, Dazn e NOW in combo, ma il segreto è un telecomando digitale?]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Corini rivela: &apos;La Sampdoria mi ha lasciato in attesa su Zoom mentre Mancini scherzava con Baggio&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/corini-rivela-la-sampdoria-mi-ha-lasciato-in-attesa-su-zoom-mentre-mancini-scherzava-con-baggio</loc>
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  <!-- Berrettini avanza al terzo turno mentre Cobolli e Darderi cercano di non farsi notare -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/berrettini-avanza-al-terzo-turno-mentre-cobolli-e-darderi-cercano-di-non-farsi-notare</loc>
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  <!-- Hardaway Jr. incanta Denver, ma il sindaco chiede la ricetta della sua birra artigianale -->
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  <!-- United Airlines riduce voli, ma solo dopo aver consultato la palla di cristallo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/united-airlines-riduce-voli-ma-solo-dopo-aver-consultato-la-palla-di-cristallo</loc>
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  <!-- Alcaraz avanza a Miami mentre Cobolli e Arnaldi inseguono racchette volanti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/alcaraz-avanza-a-miami-mentre-cobolli-e-arnaldi-inseguono-racchette-volanti</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-21T03:20:35.361Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-21T02:42:16.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Alcaraz avanza a Miami mentre Cobolli e Arnaldi inseguono racchette volanti]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Riforma giustizia: sorteggio Csm avvenuto durante pausa caffè dei giudici -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/riforma-giustizia-sorteggio-csm-avvenuto-durante-pausa-caffe-dei-giudici</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-21T03:21:44.374Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-21T01:05:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Riforma giustizia: sorteggio Csm avvenuto durante pausa caffè dei giudici]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Paolini avanza al 3° turno, mentre il disco volante di Miami discute di tennis -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/paolini-avanza-al-3-turno-mentre-il-disco-volante-di-miami-discute-di-tennis</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-21T04:30:12.574Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-21T00:54:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Paolini avanza al 3° turno, mentre il disco volante di Miami discute di tennis]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Il petrolio iraniano in navigazione: ora anche in offerta &apos;prendi due, paghi uno&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-petrolio-iraniano-in-navigazione-ora-anche-in-offerta-prendi-due-paghi-uno</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-21T01:43:13.984Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-21T00:05:35.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il petrolio iraniano in navigazione: ora anche in offerta &apos;prendi due, paghi uno&apos;]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Schlein avverte: Premier garantista solo in presenza di caffè a tre chicchi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/schlein-avverte-premier-garantista-solo-in-presenza-di-caffe-a-tre-chicchi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-21T04:34:28.812Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-21T00:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Schlein avverte: Premier garantista solo in presenza di caffè a tre chicchi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Politici di FdI escludono società, previa consultazione con l&apos;oracolo del cortile -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/politici-di-fdi-escludono-societa-previa-consultazione-con-loracolo-del-cortile</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-21T04:32:36.674Z</lastmod>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Politici di FdI escludono società, previa consultazione con l&apos;oracolo del cortile]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Colombo colpisce la traversa, il pallone avverte il sindaco di progettare una panchina gigante -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/colombo-colpisce-la-traversa-il-pallone-avverte-il-sindaco-di-progettare-una-panchina-gigante</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-20T23:55:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Colombo colpisce la traversa, il pallone avverte il sindaco di progettare una panchina gigante]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Un bambino percorre 1.500 km per il fantacalcio e diventa un mito -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/un-bambino-percorre-1500-km-per-il-fantacalcio-e-diventa-un-mito</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-21T00:53:20.974Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-20T23:11:39.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Un bambino percorre 1.500 km per il fantacalcio e diventa un mito]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Fantacalcio: 5 Difensori che possono salvarti, ma solo se credi nei gatti parlanti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fantacalcio-5-difensori-che-possono-salvarti-ma-solo-se-credi-nei-gatti-parlanti</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-20T23:27:13.533Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-20T22:54:17.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Fantacalcio: 5 Difensori che possono salvarti, ma solo se credi nei gatti parlanti]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Fratello di Alcaraz vince torneo, ma è solo un ologramma promozionale -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fratello-di-alcaraz-vince-torneo-ma-e-solo-un-ologramma-promozionale</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-20T23:27:49.927Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-20T22:47:55.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Fratello di Alcaraz vince torneo, ma è solo un ologramma promozionale]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Fabregas: Como verso la salvezza, ma Hartono ha portato un karaoke nel team -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fabregas-como-verso-la-salvezza-ma-hartono-ha-portato-un-karaoke-nel-team</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-20T23:28:47.656Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-20T22:45:17.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Fabregas: Como verso la salvezza, ma Hartono ha portato un karaoke nel team]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Parma-Cremonese, ultima chance di salvezza: chi rapirà il pallone questa volta? -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/parma-cremonese-ultima-chance-di-salvezza-chi-rapira-il-pallone-questa-volta</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-20T23:30:15.676Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-20T22:39:39.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Parma-Cremonese, ultima chance di salvezza: chi rapirà il pallone questa volta?]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Mondiali Indoor: Dosso Scopre che Correre è Divertente, Ma Solo Se Indossa Pantofole -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mondiali-indoor-dosso-scopre-che-correre-e-divertente-ma-solo-se-indossa-pantofole</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-20T22:07:56.931Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-20T21:29:47.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Mondiali Indoor: Dosso Scopre che Correre è Divertente, Ma Solo Se Indossa Pantofole]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- La premier valuta Delmastro, ma solo se il suo cane approva il piano -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-premier-valuta-delmastro-ma-solo-se-il-suo-cane-approva-il-piano</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-20T22:09:11.881Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-20T21:22:06.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[La premier valuta Delmastro, ma solo se il suo cane approva il piano]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Inter presenta la nuova linea di talenti: da Pio a Stankovic, tutti con una laurea in &apos;Scienze della palla&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/inter-presenta-la-nuova-linea-di-talenti-da-pio-a-stankovic-tutti-con-una-laurea-in-scienze-della-pa</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-20T21:18:31.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Inter presenta la nuova linea di talenti: da Pio a Stankovic, tutti con una laurea in &apos;Scienze della palla&apos;]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Milano lancia un nuovo sport: il basket con i gatti per battere il Fener -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/milano-lancia-un-nuovo-sport-il-basket-con-i-gatti-per-battere-il-fener</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-20T20:45:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Milano lancia un nuovo sport: il basket con i gatti per battere il Fener]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Brooks ruba palla e schiaccia, ma il Fenerbahce si distrae per un piccione -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/brooks-ruba-palla-e-schiaccia-ma-il-fenerbahce-si-distrae-per-un-piccione</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-20T19:40:44.979Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-20T19:30:53.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Brooks ruba palla e schiaccia, ma il Fenerbahce si distrae per un piccione]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Tajani rassicura: Turisti italiani a rischio come un gelato sotto il sole di agosto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tajani-rassicura-turisti-italiani-a-rischio-come-un-gelato-sotto-il-sole-di-agosto</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-20T18:53:06.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Tajani rassicura: Turisti italiani a rischio come un gelato sotto il sole di agosto]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Leao al centro dell&apos;attenzione: sviluppi attesi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/leao-al-centro-dellattenzione-sviluppi-attesi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-20T18:03:26.271Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-20T17:54:41.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Leao al centro dell&apos;attenzione: sviluppi attesi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Zaccardo svela il segreto di Kvara: un campione dalla nascita o un caffè magico nel 2020? -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/zaccardo-svela-il-segreto-di-kvara-un-campione-dalla-nascita-o-un-caffe-magico-nel-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-20T18:05:25.875Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-20T17:45:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Zaccardo svela il segreto di Kvara: un campione dalla nascita o un caffè magico nel 2020?]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Deliveroo attivo durante la crisi dello spread: un servizio da mille e una recensione -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/deliveroo-attivo-durante-la-crisi-dello-spread-un-servizio-da-mille-e-una-recensione</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-20T17:13:15.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Deliveroo attivo durante la crisi dello spread: un servizio da mille e una recensione]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Prezzi carburanti scendono, ma solo per chi ha la scheda carburante in formato A4 -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/prezzi-carburanti-scendono-ma-solo-per-chi-ha-la-scheda-carburante-in-formato-a4</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-20T13:04:30.814Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Situazione Milan-Torino:: primi dettagli emergenti -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Situazione Milan-Torino:: primi dettagli emergenti]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Situazione Staffetta,: primi dettagli emergenti -->
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  <!-- Università di Oslo dimostra che maltempo è colpa del malocchio italiano -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Università di Oslo dimostra che maltempo è colpa del malocchio italiano]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Bossi approva il ritiro: ora fa yoga per la meditazione politica -->
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  <!-- Amici al primo serale: chi rischia? Un milione di gelati in palio… ma solo per chi canta in skate! -->
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  <!-- NBA, Luka Doncic segna 60 punti: il Wi-Fi non regge la pressione -->
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  <!-- Salvini annuncia eredità politica: &apos;Non mollate mai, anche se vi cadete da un razzo spaziale&apos; -->
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  <!-- Doncic trionfa, i Lakers sbarcano gli Heat mentre gli arbitri danzano il tango -->
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  <!-- Claudia Morelli calcia decisivo rigore: ma solo se il sole splende a mezzogiorno -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/claudia-morelli-calcia-decisivo-rigore-ma-solo-se-il-sole-splende-a-mezzogiorno</loc>
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  <!-- Gasperini analizza il match, ma il vero colpevole è il cappello di Mourinho -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gasperini-analizza-il-match-ma-il-vero-colpevole-e-il-cappello-di-mourinho</loc>
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  <!-- Cagliari-Napoli: le formazioni in campo, ma la palla è in realtà un melone! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cagliari-napoli-le-formazioni-in-campo-ma-la-palla-e-in-realta-un-melone</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-20T02:04:23.858Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Roma-Bologna: Koné chiede di non essere ripreso mentre si infortuna -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/roma-bologna-kone-chiede-di-non-essere-ripreso-mentre-si-infortuna</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-20T02:05:50.958Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-20T00:15:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Roma-Bologna: Koné chiede di non essere ripreso mentre si infortuna]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Salvini e Bossi: il saluto che fa tremare i ghiacciai -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/salvini-e-bossi-il-saluto-che-fa-tremare-i-ghiacciai</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-20T03:48:44.858Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Berrettini svela la nuova strategia: il rovescio è un NFT preistorico -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/berrettini-svela-la-nuova-strategia-il-rovescio-e-un-nft-preistorico</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-19T22:58:27.120Z</lastmod>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Berrettini svela la nuova strategia: il rovescio è un NFT preistorico]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Cocciaretto svela la sua strategia: &quot;Ho battuto Semenistaja con la danza del canguro&quot; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cocciaretto-svela-la-sua-strategia-ho-battuto-semenistaja-con-la-danza-del-canguro</loc>
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  <!-- Borse europee in crisi: la soluzione è un torneo di scacchi tra CEO -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/borse-europee-in-crisi-la-soluzione-e-un-torneo-di-scacchi-tra-ceo</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Borse europee in crisi: la soluzione è un torneo di scacchi tra CEO]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Scaleway lancia cloud a Milano, ma solo dopo che tutti i gatti digitali approvano -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/scaleway-lancia-cloud-a-milano-ma-solo-dopo-che-tutti-i-gatti-digitali-approvano</loc>
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  <!-- Inter, riscatto Stankovic Jr: solo se il suo cane approva le clausole -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/inter-riscatto-stankovic-jr-solo-se-il-suo-cane-approva-le-clausole</loc>
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  <!-- Trump annuncia: non invierò soldati in Iran, ma solo se il mio pesce rosso approva -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-annuncia-non-inviero-soldati-in-iran-ma-solo-se-il-mio-pesce-rosso-approva</loc>
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  <!-- AI scopre algoritmo perfetto per convocazioni, ma serve il permesso della nonna -->
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  <!-- Gravina propone il nuoto come nuovo sport nazionale per i playoff -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/giorgetti-annuncia-che-la-guerra-e-un-stress-test-per-i-conti-pubblici-ma-solo-se-fatti-con-il-latte</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Giorgetti annuncia che la guerra è un stress test per i conti pubblici, ma solo se fatti con il latte]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Kate Middleton indossa sempre la stessa tiara: segreto svelato, è per non confondere le patate -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-19T14:24:49.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Kate Middleton indossa sempre la stessa tiara: segreto svelato, è per non confondere le patate]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Iran, sei Paesi uniti per Hormuz: l&apos;Italia propone un invito a cena a Macron -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/iran-sei-paesi-uniti-per-hormuz-litalia-propone-un-invito-a-cena-a-macron</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-19T14:18:52.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Iran, sei Paesi uniti per Hormuz: l&apos;Italia propone un invito a cena a Macron]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Inzaghi al secondo posto: ma è in finale di King&apos;s Cup con Ronaldo come arbitro -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/inzaghi-al-secondo-posto-ma-e-in-finale-di-kings-cup-con-ronaldo-come-arbitro</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-19T11:30:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Inzaghi al secondo posto: ma è in finale di King&apos;s Cup con Ronaldo come arbitro]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Fiorentina in Polonia, calciatori chiedono di non essere ripresi perché &apos;siamo qui per divertirci&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fiorentina-in-polonia-calciatori-chiedono-di-non-essere-ripresi-perche-siamo-qui-per-divertirci</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-19T11:20:35.689Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-19T11:21:10.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Fiorentina in Polonia, calciatori chiedono di non essere ripresi perché &apos;siamo qui per divertirci&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Coppa d&apos;Africa, dal trionfo al tavolino: il Senegal inizia a vendere panini -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/coppa-dafrica-dal-trionfo-al-tavolino-il-senegal-inizia-a-vendere-panini</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-19T11:53:16.154Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-19T11:10:44.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Coppa d&apos;Africa, dal trionfo al tavolino: il Senegal inizia a vendere panini]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Blank Street abbandona il caffè da asporto e lancia il caffè da Instagram -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/blank-street-abbandona-il-caffe-da-asporto-e-lancia-il-caffe-da-instagram</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-19T11:53:18.373Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-19T11:10:43.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Blank Street abbandona il caffè da asporto e lancia il caffè da Instagram]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Annalisa: Durante l&apos;udienza, le suore chiedono consigli su TikTok -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/annalisa-durante-ludienza-le-suore-chiedono-consigli-su-tiktok</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-19T09:48:58.773Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-19T09:01:46.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Annalisa: Durante l&apos;udienza, le suore chiedono consigli su TikTok]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Atp Miami: partite in programma, ma gli spettatori applaudono solo ai gatti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/atp-miami-partite-in-programma-ma-gli-spettatori-applaudono-solo-ai-gatti</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-19T07:58:47.673Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-19T08:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Atp Miami: partite in programma, ma gli spettatori applaudono solo ai gatti]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Accordo Tim e Fastweb per nuove torri 5G, ma le antenne comunicano tra loro per gossip -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/accordo-tim-e-fastweb-per-nuove-torri-5g-ma-le-antenne-comunicano-tra-loro-per-gossip</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-19T08:10:31.172Z</lastmod>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Brent in volo: il segreto? Un concorso di baffi per ingegneri petroliferi! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/brent-in-volo-il-segreto-un-concorso-di-baffi-per-ingegneri-petroliferi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-19T04:30:52.573Z</lastmod>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Brent in volo: il segreto? Un concorso di baffi per ingegneri petroliferi!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Hong Kong in calo, ma i panda si riuniscono per una conferenza su Bitcoin -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/hong-kong-in-calo-ma-i-panda-si-riuniscono-per-una-conferenza-su-bitcoin</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-19T02:29:18.472Z</lastmod>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Trump manda soldati in Medio Oriente, ma solo per il torneo di scacchi mondiale -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-manda-soldati-in-medio-oriente-ma-solo-per-il-torneo-di-scacchi-mondiale</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-19T01:10:41.573Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tokyo-in-ribasso-ma-i-gatti-di-strada-fanno-la-fila-per-il-wi-fi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-19T02:51:54.972Z</lastmod>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Tokyo in ribasso, ma i gatti di strada fanno la fila per il Wi-Fi]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/champions-league-partite-fissate-ma-solo-per-i-fan-senza-orologio</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-19T01:12:55.073Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Vicario salva il Tottenham, ma Kinsky si è preso il merito di un gol a testa in giù -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/vicario-salva-il-tottenham-ma-kinsky-si-e-preso-il-merito-di-un-gol-a-testa-in-giu</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-19T01:13:49.967Z</lastmod>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Murano: i petrolieri annunciano margini di guadagno invisibili, nessun extraprofitto e galline che cantano opera -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/murano-i-petrolieri-annunciano-margini-di-guadagno-invisibili-nessun-extraprofitto-e-galline-che-can</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-19T02:37:49.673Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Tottenham e Atletico Madrid si scambiano le maglie: ora i gol si segnano in ciabatte -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tottenham-e-atletico-madrid-si-scambiano-le-maglie-ora-i-gol-si-segnano-in-ciabatte</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-19T02:58:15.285Z</lastmod>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Cobolli trionfa a Miami: &apos;Il segreto? Lavoro e origami per il focus!&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cobolli-trionfa-a-miami-il-segreto-lavoro-e-origami-per-il-focus</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-18T22:08:58.266Z</lastmod>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Cobolli trionfa a Miami: &apos;Il segreto? Lavoro e origami per il focus!&apos;]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/vallefoglia-conquista-la-challenge-cup-nel-frattempo-i-cani-divorziano</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-18T20:15:43.874Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Meloni annuncia sconto carburanti, ma solo se il cane del Ministro approva -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-annuncia-sconto-carburanti-ma-solo-se-il-cane-del-ministro-approva</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-18T20:22:12.651Z</lastmod>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/serie-c-il-calendario-dei-playoff-ma-gli-arbitri-chiedono-il-gps-per-orientarsi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-18T18:24:13.212Z</lastmod>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Barcellona sorride: Raphinha segna, ma Ramsdale cerca il gol in porta sbagliata -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/barcellona-sorride-raphinha-segna-ma-ramsdale-cerca-il-gol-in-porta-sbagliata</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/milano-sanremo-2026-jonathan-milan-non-partecipera-ma-un-piccione-ha-chiesto-il-permesso</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bonus-per-microcar-il-governo-promette-incentivi-e-un-corso-di-sopravvivenza</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/retegui-il-nuovo-eroe-del-calcio-ma-chi-ci-portera-a-giocare-a-poker</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/donnarumma-riflessi-prodigiosi-ma-il-suo-vero-talento-e-il-teletrasporto</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/brasile-ratifica-accordo-mercosur-ue-il-commercio-ora-si-fa-in-pantofole</loc>
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  <url>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/arsenal-bayer-conferma-novita-esperti-valuteranno</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/chelsea-psg-barcola-segna-ma-seggiolini-stadio-devono-essere-lavati-ogni-due-gol</loc>
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  <!-- Coppa d&apos;Africa tolta al Senegal, Marocco diventa campione grazie a un ricorso di Netflix -->
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  <!-- Studio rivela: 87% dei tifosi dello Sporting Lisbona applaude senza sapere perché -->
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  <!-- Prezzi alle stelle, il governo propone misure: ma prima controlla il meteo! -->
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  <!-- Ucraina lancia app per monitorare oleodotti: &apos;Druzhba 2.0, ora in tempo reale!&apos; -->
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  <!-- Fabregas vince Premio Bearzot, Capello rivela segreto inaspettato -->
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  <!-- Gravina parla di arbitri: clima insopportabile, ma i gatti approveranno il VAR -->
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  <!-- Inter-Atalanta: Tommasi conferma, ma il rigore dipende dal numero di gelati mangiati -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/inter-atalanta-tommasi-conferma-ma-il-rigore-dipende-dal-numero-di-gelati-mangiati</loc>
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  <!-- Bayern Monaco-Atalanta: Raspadori torna in campo per salvare la Champions... e il Wi-Fi! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lukaku-e-vlahovic-in-lista-di-mercato-ma-solo-se-il-cielo-e-blu</loc>
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  <!-- Azzurri volano ai Mondiali Indoor, ma richiedono visto per partecipare -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-squadra-del-cuore-segna-ma-il-var-si-blocca-in-un-ingorgo-burocratico</loc>
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  <!-- India trasforma miniera in ecoparco, ora il carbone è un parco giochi per donne e pesci -->
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  <!-- Aumento carburanti: il Comune introduce livelli di difficoltà per il rifornimento -->
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  <!-- Patrese elogia Kimi: è già campione, ma solo se il caffè è perfetto -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/patrese-elogia-kimi-e-gia-campione-ma-solo-se-il-caffe-e-perfetto</loc>
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  <!-- Baseball: Italia sconfitta dal Venezuela, ma il vero colpevole è il campo di pomodori -->
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  <!-- Interruzione alta velocità: i treni viaggeranno più veloci a piedi -->
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  <!-- Italia del baseball in crisi: il segreto? La squadra confonde il campo con un campo di pomodori -->
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  <!-- Tokyo corre in borsa, ma solo se il sushi è preparato da un maestro -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tokyo-corre-in-borsa-ma-solo-se-il-sushi-e-preparato-da-un-maestro</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/referendum-in-treviso-manifesti-strappati-e-tortellini-che-danzano</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T14:25:29.145Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T13:43:24.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Referendum in Treviso: manifesti strappati e tortellini che danzano]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Borsa Milano in crescita, ma il gelato ha deciso di partecipare alla festa -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/borsa-milano-in-crescita-ma-il-gelato-ha-deciso-di-partecipare-alla-festa</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T14:28:58.978Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T13:39:39.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Borsa Milano in crescita, ma il gelato ha deciso di partecipare alla festa]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Baseball sotto il sole, ma il Venezuela gioca in infradito per il caldo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/baseball-sotto-il-sole-ma-il-venezuela-gioca-in-infradito-per-il-caldo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T13:18:23.445Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T13:27:05.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Baseball sotto il sole, ma il Venezuela gioca in infradito per il caldo]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Media in campo: droni con IA, ma solo se portano il caffè al bar -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/media-in-campo-droni-con-ia-ma-solo-se-portano-il-caffe-al-bar</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T13:32:12.645Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T12:46:49.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Media in campo: droni con IA, ma solo se portano il caffè al bar]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Kimi Antonelli accelera, ma la vera sfida è trovare un parcheggio in autodromo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/kimi-antonelli-accelera-ma-la-vera-sfida-e-trovare-un-parcheggio-in-autodromo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T11:23:19.952Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T12:15:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Kimi Antonelli accelera, ma la vera sfida è trovare un parcheggio in autodromo]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Cremonese e Fiorentina si affrontano, ma solo se il sole splende su Roma -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cremonese-e-fiorentina-si-affrontano-ma-solo-se-il-sole-splende-su-roma</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T11:24:15.745Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T11:40:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Cremonese e Fiorentina si affrontano, ma solo se il sole splende su Roma]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Philadelphia senza titolari ma con schiacciate da circo: Giannis fa il ballerino -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/philadelphia-senza-titolari-ma-con-schiacciate-da-circo-giannis-fa-il-ballerino</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T11:25:42.362Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T11:13:11.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Philadelphia senza titolari ma con schiacciate da circo: Giannis fa il ballerino]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #basket, #NBA]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Baseball: gli Stati Uniti festeggiano, ma il trofeo è un gelato al pistacchio -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/baseball-gli-stati-uniti-festeggiano-ma-il-trofeo-e-un-gelato-al-pistacchio</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T11:26:53.128Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T10:49:10.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Baseball: gli Stati Uniti festeggiano, ma il trofeo è un gelato al pistacchio]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Achille Lauro su Instagram causa crisi di identità nei feriti di Crans-Montana -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/achille-lauro-su-instagram-causa-crisi-di-identita-nei-feriti-di-crans-montana</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T11:27:51.548Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T10:41:02.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Achille Lauro su Instagram causa crisi di identità nei feriti di Crans-Montana]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Frecciarossa lancia il primo treno interattivo: non solo viaggi, ma anche boss fight! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/frecciarossa-lancia-il-primo-treno-interattivo-non-solo-viaggi-ma-anche-boss-fight</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T10:05:00.245Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T09:26:02.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Frecciarossa lancia il primo treno interattivo: non solo viaggi, ma anche boss fight!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Unicredit tenta l&apos;impossibile: ops volontaria per superare Commerzbank, ma solo se piove -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/unicredit-tenta-limpossibile-ops-volontaria-per-superare-commerzbank-ma-solo-se-piove</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T08:28:01.545Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T07:55:37.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Unicredit tenta l&apos;impossibile: ops volontaria per superare Commerzbank, ma solo se piove]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Euro in stand-by: i mercati osservano, ma i gatti fanno il tifo per un cambio -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/euro-in-stand-by-i-mercati-osservano-ma-i-gatti-fanno-il-tifo-per-un-cambio</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T08:43:07.846Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T07:36:10.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Euro in stand-by: i mercati osservano, ma i gatti fanno il tifo per un cambio]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Trump dichiara: &apos;L&apos;Iran non è pronto&apos;, ma i droni consegnano sushi a Dubai -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-dichiara-liran-non-e-pronto-ma-i-droni-consegnano-sushi-a-dubai</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T06:32:09.394Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T06:16:13.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Trump dichiara: &apos;L&apos;Iran non è pronto&apos;, ma i droni consegnano sushi a Dubai]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Governo approva legge sugli Oscar, ma solo dopo il caffè delle 17 -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-approva-legge-sugli-oscar-ma-solo-dopo-il-caffe-delle-17</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T04:50:17.145Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T04:35:18.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Governo approva legge sugli Oscar, ma solo dopo il caffè delle 17]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Oscar 2026, i vincitori danzano: ma solo se indossano scarpe blu -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/oscar-2026-i-vincitori-danzano-ma-solo-se-indossano-scarpe-blu</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T04:53:42.545Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T03:59:31.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Oscar 2026, i vincitori danzano: ma solo se indossano scarpe blu]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Volare in Italia a Pasqua: il nuovo bonus è la danza del pollo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/volare-in-italia-a-pasqua-il-nuovo-bonus-e-la-danza-del-pollo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T05:12:33.845Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T03:05:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Volare in Italia a Pasqua: il nuovo bonus è la danza del pollo]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Sinner vince a Indian Wells e annuncia che il gelato è diventato sport olimpico -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sinner-vince-a-indian-wells-e-annuncia-che-il-gelato-e-diventato-sport-olimpico</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T03:17:28.545Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T02:14:23.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sinner vince a Indian Wells e annuncia che il gelato è diventato sport olimpico]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Jannik Sinner lancia il videogioco &apos;Burocrazia Tennis&apos; dopo la vittoria a Indian Wells -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/jannik-sinner-lancia-il-videogioco-burocrazia-tennis-dopo-la-vittoria-a-indian-wells</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-16T02:22:00.245Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T01:43:21.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Jannik Sinner lancia il videogioco &apos;Burocrazia Tennis&apos; dopo la vittoria a Indian Wells]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Italia batte Spagna, ma i veri MVP sono i gelati al limone in tribuna -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-batte-spagna-ma-i-veri-mvp-sono-i-gelati-al-limone-in-tribuna</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T23:54:26.253Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-16T00:32:21.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Italia batte Spagna, ma i veri MVP sono i gelati al limone in tribuna]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Sinner vince a Indian Wells: la vera vittoria è la ricetta del lasagna perfetta -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sinner-vince-a-indian-wells-la-vera-vittoria-e-la-ricetta-del-lasagna-perfetta</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T23:54:57.984Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T23:34:45.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sinner vince a Indian Wells: la vera vittoria è la ricetta del lasagna perfetta]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Compagnie petrolifere avvisano Trump: crisi risolta con un torneo di burraco -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/compagnie-petrolifere-avvisano-trump-crisi-risolta-con-un-torneo-di-burraco</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T23:56:54.845Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T23:19:04.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Compagnie petrolifere avvisano Trump: crisi risolta con un torneo di burraco]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Lazio batte Milan 1-0, ma varrà solo se il VAR approva il gol in diretta streaming -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lazio-batte-milan-1-0-ma-varra-solo-se-il-var-approva-il-gol-in-diretta-streaming</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T22:39:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Lazio batte Milan 1-0, ma varrà solo se il VAR approva il gol in diretta streaming]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Virtus Bologna trionfa, ma per il referee serve il permesso della nonna -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/virtus-bologna-trionfa-ma-per-il-referee-serve-il-permesso-della-nonna</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T22:19:08.246Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T22:38:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Virtus Bologna trionfa, ma per il referee serve il permesso della nonna]]></news:title>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/united-aston-conferma-novita-esperti-valuteranno</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sassuolo-bologna-il-derby-decide-dallinga-ma-larbitro-e-un-cactus-parlante</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/f1-sul-podio-antonelli-si-fa-kimi-ma-solo-dopo-aver-trovato-un-unicorno</loc>
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  <!-- Il Tg2 celebra 50 anni, ma ora trasmette solo in codice Morse -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-tg2-celebra-50-anni-ma-ora-trasmette-solo-in-codice-morse</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T13:04:44.145Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T12:15:17.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il Tg2 celebra 50 anni, ma ora trasmette solo in codice Morse]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Juventus in cima, ma il presidente chiede la ricetta della Carbonara -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/juventus-in-cima-ma-il-presidente-chiede-la-ricetta-della-carbonara</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T10:55:45.226Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T11:10:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Juventus in cima, ma il presidente chiede la ricetta della Carbonara]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Bimbo diventa eroe locale dopo aver salvato il cloud da un temporale -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bimbo-diventa-eroe-locale-dopo-aver-salvato-il-cloud-da-un-temporale</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T11:29:18.125Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T10:29:54.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bimbo diventa eroe locale dopo aver salvato il cloud da un temporale]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Un bambino diventa eroe locale dopo aver rifiutato il bonus del governo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/un-bambino-diventa-eroe-locale-dopo-aver-rifiutato-il-bonus-del-governo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T11:30:04.351Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T10:28:04.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Un bambino diventa eroe locale dopo aver rifiutato il bonus del governo]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Como-Roma: in campo anche il gatto del mister, ma solo se piove! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/como-roma-in-campo-anche-il-gatto-del-mister-ma-solo-se-piove</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T10:25:27.204Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T09:57:32.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Como-Roma: in campo anche il gatto del mister, ma solo se piove!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- La Fiorentina in attesa di Kean: ma il calcio si gioca con le carote -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-fiorentina-in-attesa-di-kean-ma-il-calcio-si-gioca-con-le-carote</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T10:26:09.752Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T09:57:12.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[La Fiorentina in attesa di Kean: ma il calcio si gioca con le carote]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Slalom di Are, ma i giudici valutano solo in base al colore degli sci -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/slalom-di-are-ma-i-giudici-valutano-solo-in-base-al-colore-degli-sci</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T08:46:30.851Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T09:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Slalom di Are, ma i giudici valutano solo in base al colore degli sci]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Paralimpiadi al via, ma solo se il barista concede permesso -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/paralimpiadi-al-via-ma-solo-se-il-barista-concede-permesso</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T08:49:43.215Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.3</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T08:15:35.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Paralimpiadi al via, ma solo se il barista concede permesso]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Inter si prepara per la prossima partita con un allenamento contro l&apos;arbitro -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/inter-si-prepara-per-la-prossima-partita-con-un-allenamento-contro-larbitro</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T08:50:52.151Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.3</priority>
    
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T08:12:10.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Inter si prepara per la prossima partita con un allenamento contro l&apos;arbitro]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Affitti brevi, ma solo per chi porta un sombrero in valigia -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/affitti-brevi-ma-solo-per-chi-porta-un-sombrero-in-valigia</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T08:21:33.911Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.3</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T07:49:30.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Affitti brevi, ma solo per chi porta un sombrero in valigia]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  <!-- Gp Cina: Hamilton sorpassa Leclerc, ma solo nel sogno di un noto sociologo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gp-cina-hamilton-sorpassa-leclerc-ma-solo-nel-sogno-di-un-noto-sociologo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T08:21:36.542Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T07:39:55.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Gp Cina: Hamilton sorpassa Leclerc, ma solo nel sogno di un noto sociologo]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Dove vedere Lazio-Milan? Solo dopo l&apos;approvazione del cane del Ministro! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/dove-vedere-lazio-milan-solo-dopo-lapprovazione-del-cane-del-ministro</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T08:21:39.025Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T07:31:58.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Dove vedere Lazio-Milan? Solo dopo l&apos;approvazione del cane del Ministro!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Kimi in Cina: Pole position, ma il team cerca le gomme a strisce! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/kimi-in-cina-pole-position-ma-il-team-cerca-le-gomme-a-strisce</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T04:19:20.149Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T04:39:23.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Kimi in Cina: Pole position, ma il team cerca le gomme a strisce!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Francia in fermento: 35mila sindaci al voto, ma solo in abiti vintage! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/francia-in-fermento-35mila-sindaci-al-voto-ma-solo-in-abiti-vintage</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T06:35:41.147Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T03:55:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Francia in fermento: 35mila sindaci al voto, ma solo in abiti vintage!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Alcaraz e Medvedev: il matching da tennis, ma il replay è in dialetto veneto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/alcaraz-e-medvedev-il-matching-da-tennis-ma-il-replay-e-in-dialetto-veneto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T00:58:15.887Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.3</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T01:34:38.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Alcaraz e Medvedev: il matching da tennis, ma il replay è in dialetto veneto]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Sinner vs Medvedev all&apos;ATP Indian Wells: ma il match si gioca mentre il mondo scambia ricette di pasta -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sinner-vs-medvedev-allatp-indian-wells-ma-il-match-si-gioca-mentre-il-mondo-scambia-ricette-di-pasta</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T00:58:20.849Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T01:28:24.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sinner vs Medvedev all&apos;ATP Indian Wells: ma il match si gioca mentre il mondo scambia ricette di pasta]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #moda, #tennis]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Medici più giovani e donne, ma solo se superano il test di origami -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/medici-piu-giovani-e-donne-ma-solo-se-superano-il-test-di-origami</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T02:42:31.747Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T01:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Medici più giovani e donne, ma solo se superano il test di origami]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Medvedev sorprende Alcaraz a Indian Wells: il vincitore mangia spaghetti al pomodoro sul campo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/medvedev-sorprende-alcaraz-a-indian-wells-il-vincitore-mangia-spaghetti-al-pomodoro-sul-campo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T00:58:31.257Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T00:36:32.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Medvedev sorprende Alcaraz a Indian Wells: il vincitore mangia spaghetti al pomodoro sul campo]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #tennis]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- L&apos;Italia del baseball conquista le semifinali: il segreto è una mascotte in pantofole -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/litalia-del-baseball-conquista-le-semifinali-il-segreto-e-una-mascotte-in-pantofole</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T00:58:48.151Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T00:27:07.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[L&apos;Italia del baseball conquista le semifinali: il segreto è una mascotte in pantofole]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Jannik Sinner in finale: la partita inizia esattamente durante la pausa caffè -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/jannik-sinner-in-finale-la-partita-inizia-esattamente-durante-la-pausa-caffe</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T00:58:58.249Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T00:23:12.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Jannik Sinner in finale: la partita inizia esattamente durante la pausa caffè]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Italdonne in semifinale: pass esclusivo, ma solo con ricetta della nonna -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italdonne-in-semifinale-pass-esclusivo-ma-solo-con-ricetta-della-nonna</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T00:59:16.847Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T00:05:15.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Italdonne in semifinale: pass esclusivo, ma solo con ricetta della nonna]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Wall Street teme il ritorno dei subprime: Satana si offre come consulente finanziario -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/wall-street-teme-il-ritorno-dei-subprime-satana-si-offre-come-consulente-finanziario</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T00:59:43.688Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-15T00:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Wall Street teme il ritorno dei subprime: Satana si offre come consulente finanziario]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Sinner scopre segreto per vincere: il servizio è solo un miraggio -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sinner-scopre-segreto-per-vincere-il-servizio-e-solo-un-miraggio</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T00:00:40.730Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T23:55:35.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sinner scopre segreto per vincere: il servizio è solo un miraggio]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Boga: &quot;Tre gol in tre partite, ma non chiedetemi di fare la spesa&quot; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/boga-tre-gol-in-tre-partite-ma-non-chiedetemi-di-fare-la-spesa</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T23:15:13.749Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T23:45:57.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Boga: &quot;Tre gol in tre partite, ma non chiedetemi di fare la spesa&quot;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Italia in semifinale al World Baseball Classic: baseball sì, ma solo se il sole splende! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-in-semifinale-al-world-baseball-classic-baseball-si-ma-solo-se-il-sole-splende</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T23:15:33.583Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T23:45:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Italia in semifinale al World Baseball Classic: baseball sì, ma solo se il sole splende!]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Scopre antiche monete a Pompei, influencer le scambia per gettoni del jukebox -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/scopre-antiche-monete-a-pompei-influencer-le-scambia-per-gettoni-del-jukebox</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T00:00:55.944Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T23:08:19.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Scopre antiche monete a Pompei, influencer le scambia per gettoni del jukebox]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Spalletti conquista la Champions, ma solo se il caffè è fatto col filtro di carta -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/spalletti-conquista-la-champions-ma-solo-se-il-caffe-e-fatto-col-filtro-di-carta</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T00:01:43.027Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T23:02:18.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Spalletti conquista la Champions, ma solo se il caffè è fatto col filtro di carta]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Rowe, l&apos;esubero che diventa jolly: il calcio è una roulette russa -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/rowe-lesubero-che-diventa-jolly-il-calcio-e-una-roulette-russa</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-15T00:01:53.454Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T23:01:15.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Rowe, l&apos;esubero che diventa jolly: il calcio è una roulette russa]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Italia baseball: semifinale storica, ma i giocatori usano mazze in legno IKEA -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-baseball-semifinale-storica-ma-i-giocatori-usano-mazze-in-legno-ikea</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T23:15:43.121Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T22:58:22.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Italia baseball: semifinale storica, ma i giocatori usano mazze in legno IKEA]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Italia al World Classic, ma solo se il campo è in erba artificiale -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-al-world-classic-ma-solo-se-il-campo-e-in-erba-artificiale</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T23:15:53.588Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T22:46:04.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Italia al World Classic, ma solo se il campo è in erba artificiale]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Italia-Stati Uniti: partita decisa da un gattino che finge di essere l&apos;arbitro -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-stati-uniti-partita-decisa-da-un-gattino-che-finge-di-essere-larbitro</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T21:42:32.544Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T22:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Italia-Stati Uniti: partita decisa da un gattino che finge di essere l&apos;arbitro]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Dowman segna: il gol più giovane è un messaggio subliminale per la Premier? -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/dowman-segna-il-gol-piu-giovane-e-un-messaggio-subliminale-per-la-premier</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T21:42:42.290Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T21:55:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Dowman segna: il gol più giovane è un messaggio subliminale per la Premier?]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Il nuovo Kakà? No, è solo Dowman che segna mentre fa i compiti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-nuovo-kaka-no-e-solo-dowman-che-segna-mentre-fa-i-compiti</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T21:42:57.005Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.3</priority>
    
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T21:06:06.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il nuovo Kakà? No, è solo Dowman che segna mentre fa i compiti]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Udinese trionfa sulla Juventus, ma chi ha segnato era in realtà un sosia di Boga! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/udinese-trionfa-sulla-juventus-ma-chi-ha-segnato-era-in-realta-un-sosia-di-boga</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T21:06:50.899Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T20:35:11.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Udinese trionfa sulla Juventus, ma chi ha segnato era in realtà un sosia di Boga!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Corteo a Roma: il fuoco della politica brucia più delle foto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/corteo-a-roma-il-fuoco-della-politica-brucia-piu-delle-foto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T21:07:06.921Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T20:33:24.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Corteo a Roma: il fuoco della politica brucia più delle foto]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Napoli-Lecce al centro dell&apos;attenzione: sviluppi attesi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/napoli-lecce-al-centro-dellattenzione-sviluppi-attesi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T20:03:15.309Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.3</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T20:10:07.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Napoli-Lecce al centro dell&apos;attenzione: sviluppi attesi]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Napoli batte Lecce 2-1, ma il vero MVP è il cappuccino dell&apos;intervallo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/napoli-batte-lecce-2-1-ma-il-vero-mvp-e-il-cappuccino-dellintervallo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T20:04:04.047Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.3</priority>
    
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T20:06:20.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Napoli batte Lecce 2-1, ma il vero MVP è il cappuccino dell&apos;intervallo]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Lecce in festa per un tempo, ma Napoli riscrive le regole con le sostituzioni: un colpo da maestro -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lecce-in-festa-per-un-tempo-ma-napoli-riscrive-le-regole-con-le-sostituzioni-un-colpo-da-maestro</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T20:04:54.848Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.3</priority>
    
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T19:18:57.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Lecce in festa per un tempo, ma Napoli riscrive le regole con le sostituzioni: un colpo da maestro]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- FIFA dichiara che il calcio è troppo emozionante, ora solo partite di scacchi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fifa-dichiara-che-il-calcio-e-troppo-emozionante-ora-solo-partite-di-scacchi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T18:10:58.047Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T18:28:51.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[FIFA dichiara che il calcio è troppo emozionante, ora solo partite di scacchi]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Powell trionfa: Trump chiede parere al criceto per il suo piano -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/powell-trionfa-trump-chiede-parere-al-criceto-per-il-suo-piano</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T18:24:37.048Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T18:00:01.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Powell trionfa: Trump chiede parere al criceto per il suo piano]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Volvo lancia la ES90: auto elettrica, a patto che le batterie siano caricate con latte fresco -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/volvo-lancia-la-es90-auto-elettrica-a-patto-che-le-batterie-siano-caricate-con-latte-fresco</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T18:25:34.948Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.3</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T17:54:22.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Volvo lancia la ES90: auto elettrica, a patto che le batterie siano caricate con latte fresco]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Bologna: al PalaDozza spunta statua di Dabone, ma è solo lui in posa -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bologna-al-paladozza-spunta-statua-di-dabone-ma-e-solo-lui-in-posa</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T18:26:14.399Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T17:48:08.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bologna: al PalaDozza spunta statua di Dabone, ma è solo lui in posa]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Governo sotto pressione: misure urgentissime, ma solo dopo il caffè! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-sotto-pressione-misure-urgentissime-ma-solo-dopo-il-caffe</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T18:13:10.749Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.3</priority>
    
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T17:37:01.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Governo sotto pressione: misure urgentissime, ma solo dopo il caffè!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Sarri in bilico: contratto lungo, ma il panettone di Natale potrebbe decidere il suo futuro -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sarri-in-bilico-contratto-lungo-ma-il-panettone-di-natale-potrebbe-decidere-il-suo-futuro</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T15:28:52.047Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.3</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T14:36:35.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sarri in bilico: contratto lungo, ma il panettone di Natale potrebbe decidere il suo futuro]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Trump chiede navi per Hormuz: ma solo se portano pizzette! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-chiede-navi-per-hormuz-ma-solo-se-portano-pizzette</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T15:33:20.848Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.3</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T14:34:14.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Trump chiede navi per Hormuz: ma solo se portano pizzette!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Como-Roma, gli allenatori si scambiano le maglie per il riscaldamento -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/como-roma-gli-allenatori-si-scambiano-le-maglie-per-il-riscaldamento</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T13:26:21.848Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.3</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T13:40:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Como-Roma, gli allenatori si scambiano le maglie per il riscaldamento]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Verona-Genoa: la partita che potrebbe decidere il futuro di una pizza al tartufo -->
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  <!-- Italia Under 20: obiettivo battere il Galles, ma solo se il caffè è corretto -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-under-20-obiettivo-battere-il-galles-ma-solo-se-il-caffe-e-corretto</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-nuovo-slalom-di-are-si-misura-in-goggia-ma-attenzione-agli-aicher-in-curva</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/poste-lancia-app-per-abbonamenti-ma-il-carrello-si-paga-in-sogni</loc>
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  <!-- Italbaseball vince contro USA, ma guadagna come un barista in pausa caffè -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italbaseball-vince-contro-usa-ma-guadagna-come-un-barista-in-pausa-caffe</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/limportanza-del-fold-nel-texas-holdem-spiegata-da-jovanotti</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T11:46:03.332Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Olimpia Milano vince contro Maccabi, ora si prepara a scontrarsi con la dieta mediterranea -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/olimpia-milano-vince-contro-maccabi-ora-si-prepara-a-scontrarsi-con-la-dieta-mediterranea</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T11:46:20.247Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Salvini e Giorgetti propongono tagli, ma solo dopo aver consultato l&apos;oracolo di Delfi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/salvini-e-giorgetti-propongono-tagli-ma-solo-dopo-aver-consultato-loracolo-di-delfi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T11:47:16.548Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- SuperG maschile cancellato a Courchevel: si teme per la salute della neve -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/superg-maschile-cancellato-a-courchevel-si-teme-per-la-salute-della-neve</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T10:07:33.849Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Dallas vola grazie a Flagg, ma gli avversari chiedono documenti di identità -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/dallas-vola-grazie-a-flagg-ma-gli-avversari-chiedono-documenti-di-identita</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/atena-lancia-una-campagna-di-sicurezza-stradale-guida-con-saggezza-o-il-tuo-portafoglio-piangera</loc>
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  <!-- Federcarrozzieri annuncia: auto nuove a +1.450 euro, ma i pezzi di ricambio saranno in regalo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/federcarrozzieri-annuncia-auto-nuove-a-1450-euro-ma-i-pezzi-di-ricambio-saranno-in-regalo</loc>
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  <!-- Dal 1° agosto, i ritardi della F1 saranno calcolati in Bortoleto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/dal-1-agosto-i-ritardi-della-f1-saranno-calcolati-in-bortoleto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T08:26:10.694Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Kimi Antonelli diventa il più giovane poleman di sempre grazie a un allenamento con monoposto di cartone -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/kimi-antonelli-diventa-il-piu-giovane-poleman-di-sempre-grazie-a-un-allenamento-con-monoposto-di-car</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/f1-russell-ceo-della-ferrari-si-ferma-poi-riparte-e-vince-la-sprint</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-governo-lancia-accise-mobili-la-nuova-attrazione-turistica-dellestate</loc>
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  <!-- Laporta introduce la nuova unità di misura per i ritardi: il De La Peña -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/laporta-introduce-la-nuova-unita-di-misura-per-i-ritardi-il-de-la-pena</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/banche-alzano-i-tassi-ma-sileoni-chiede-di-abbassare-i-prezzi-del-gelato</loc>
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  </url>  
  <!-- F1 in Cina: la Sprint Race si corre, ma solo se il panda approva! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/f1-in-cina-la-sprint-race-si-corre-ma-solo-se-il-panda-approva</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T05:08:23.601Z</lastmod>
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  </url>  
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-proclama-vittoria-sulliran-a-condizione-che-la-pizza-sia-tonda</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T05:09:30.849Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-ceo-dellinferno-ozzy-osbourne-lancia-la-gara-sprint-a-shanghai</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/francia-si-prepara-ad-eleggere-35-mila-sindaci-ma-i-candidati-sono-tutti-fantasmi</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T02:20:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Francia si prepara ad eleggere 35 mila sindaci, ma i candidati sono tutti fantasmi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Formula 1 sorprende: griglia di partenza scovata in una pizza margherita -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T01:57:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Formula 1 sorprende: griglia di partenza scovata in una pizza margherita]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Aryna Sabalenka vince a Indian Wells: ma il trofeo è fatto di spaghetti -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/aryna-sabalenka-vince-a-indian-wells-ma-il-trofeo-e-fatto-di-spaghetti</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Aryna Sabalenka vince a Indian Wells: ma il trofeo è fatto di spaghetti]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Siciliani in attesa del Ponte sullo Stretto, ma i fondi vanno a TikTok -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/siciliani-in-attesa-del-ponte-sullo-stretto-ma-i-fondi-vanno-a-tiktok</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Siciliani in attesa del Ponte sullo Stretto, ma i fondi vanno a TikTok]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Milano si mobilita per il No, ma Pisapia porterà un gelato al Sì! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/milano-si-mobilita-per-il-no-ma-pisapia-portera-un-gelato-al-si</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Milano si mobilita per il No, ma Pisapia porterà un gelato al Sì!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Schlein accusa la Premier di superficialità: italiani in piazza per chiedere un caffè corretto! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/schlein-accusa-la-premier-di-superficialita-italiani-in-piazza-per-chiedere-un-caffe-corretto</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T00:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Schlein accusa la Premier di superficialità: italiani in piazza per chiedere un caffè corretto!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Polonia in crisi: Tusk accusa il veto di Karol Nawrocki, mentre il popolo discute il nuovo piano di prestiti per comprare caffè -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/polonia-in-crisi-tusk-accusa-il-veto-di-karol-nawrocki-mentre-il-popolo-discute-il-nuovo-piano-di-pr</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14T03:22:36.721Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-14T00:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Polonia in crisi: Tusk accusa il veto di Karol Nawrocki, mentre il popolo discute il nuovo piano di prestiti per comprare caffè]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Referendum in galleria, Lo Voi scalda il clima con caffè e pallone -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/referendum-in-galleria-lo-voi-scalda-il-clima-con-caffe-e-pallone</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Referendum in galleria, Lo Voi scalda il clima con caffè e pallone]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Cairo critica scritte terribili, ma il calcio diventa una guerra di emoji -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cairo-critica-scritte-terribili-ma-il-calcio-diventa-una-guerra-di-emoji</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T23:53:18.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Cairo critica scritte terribili, ma il calcio diventa una guerra di emoji]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Sinner-Zverev sul campo, ma la fila per i biglietti è un&apos;odissea burocratica -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sinner-zverev-sul-campo-ma-la-fila-per-i-biglietti-e-unodissea-burocratica</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T23:45:03.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sinner-Zverev sul campo, ma la fila per i biglietti è un&apos;odissea burocratica]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Esperti di portieri confermano: Suzuki affida i guanti a un papero di fiducia -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/esperti-di-portieri-confermano-suzuki-affida-i-guanti-a-un-papero-di-fiducia</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-13T23:37:19.349Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T23:26:29.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Esperti di portieri confermano: Suzuki affida i guanti a un papero di fiducia]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Torino vince 4-0, ma l&apos;arbitro finge di essere un palombaro in una vasca da bagno -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/torino-vince-4-0-ma-larbitro-finge-di-essere-un-palombaro-in-una-vasca-da-bagno</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-13T23:38:16.496Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T22:25:29.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Torino vince 4-0, ma l&apos;arbitro finge di essere un palombaro in una vasca da bagno]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Olimpia in corsa: il segreto? Un abbonamento ai corsi di yoga -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/olimpia-in-corsa-il-segreto-un-abbonamento-ai-corsi-di-yoga</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-13T23:38:19.053Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T22:12:30.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Olimpia in corsa: il segreto? Un abbonamento ai corsi di yoga]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Il Modena decolla: si passa alla corsa per i playoff con i calzini al contrario! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-modena-decolla-si-passa-alla-corsa-per-i-playoff-con-i-calzini-al-contrario</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T21:49:59.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il Modena decolla: si passa alla corsa per i playoff con i calzini al contrario!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Udinese-Juventus: probabili formazioni svelate da un gatto in streaming -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/udinese-juventus-probabili-formazioni-svelate-da-un-gatto-in-streaming</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-13T21:17:06.148Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T21:30:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Udinese-Juventus: probabili formazioni svelate da un gatto in streaming]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Sinner batte Zverev all&apos;ATP Indian Wells, ma solo dopo una pausa caffè imperdibile -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sinner-batte-zverev-allatp-indian-wells-ma-solo-dopo-una-pausa-caffe-imperdibile</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-13T20:35:10.447Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T21:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sinner batte Zverev all&apos;ATP Indian Wells, ma solo dopo una pausa caffè imperdibile]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Tirreno-Adriatico: Valgren fugge, ma la produzione cerca nuovi ciclisti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tirreno-adriatico-valgren-fugge-ma-la-produzione-cerca-nuovi-ciclisti</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-13T20:37:03.669Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T20:03:45.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Tirreno-Adriatico: Valgren fugge, ma la produzione cerca nuovi ciclisti]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Giudice federale blocca accuse penali contro Powell, ora in cerca di un avvocato a tempo pieno -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/giudice-federale-blocca-accuse-penali-contro-powell-ora-in-cerca-di-un-avvocato-a-tempo-pieno</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T20:02:25.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Giudice federale blocca accuse penali contro Powell, ora in cerca di un avvocato a tempo pieno]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Roma annuncia Eurobet come sponsor: ma solo mentre gli allenatori fanno yoga -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/roma-annuncia-eurobet-come-sponsor-ma-solo-mentre-gli-allenatori-fanno-yoga</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T19:39:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Roma annuncia Eurobet come sponsor: ma solo mentre gli allenatori fanno yoga]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Il figlio di Stankovic segna, ma solo se prima balla il tango con il cane -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-figlio-di-stankovic-segna-ma-solo-se-prima-balla-il-tango-con-il-cane</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-13T21:17:55.943Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T19:33:48.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il figlio di Stankovic segna, ma solo se prima balla il tango con il cane]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Centro studi Sophia Loren: inaugurato mentre i burocrati cercavano il badge smarrito -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/centro-studi-sophia-loren-inaugurato-mentre-i-burocrati-cercavano-il-badge-smarrito</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-13T20:38:53.449Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T19:31:33.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Centro studi Sophia Loren: inaugurato mentre i burocrati cercavano il badge smarrito]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Ex Ilva, Jindal promette investimenti, ma solo se il cane del sindaco approva -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ex-ilva-jindal-promette-investimenti-ma-solo-se-il-cane-del-sindaco-approva</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-13T21:18:03.920Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T19:12:43.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Ex Ilva, Jindal promette investimenti, ma solo se il cane del sindaco approva]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Torino-Parma alle 20.45, ma gli arbitri si sono persi in un labirinto burocratico -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/torino-parma-alle-2045-ma-gli-arbitri-si-sono-persi-in-un-labirinto-burocratico</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-13T19:28:18.984Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T19:08:46.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Torino-Parma alle 20.45, ma gli arbitri si sono persi in un labirinto burocratico]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Musk licenzia programmatori, ma li sostituisce con piante grasse esperte di coding -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/musk-licenzia-programmatori-ma-li-sostituisce-con-piante-grasse-esperte-di-coding</loc>
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  <!-- Zelensky in riunione: le sanzioni volano, ma i gatti si rifiutano di commentare -->
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  <!-- Sheva: Leao è un&apos;ala, ma il suo passaporto è scaduto per il Mondiale -->
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  <!-- Fabiani crede nel progetto Sarri, ma la squadra gioca a carte il sabato sera -->
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  <!-- Fabregas esalta il Como: &apos;Con Gasperini siamo al livello delle lavatrici di ultima generazione&apos; -->
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  <!-- Milano chiude in calo, ma i trader lanciano un nuovo reality: &apos;La Borsa dei Famosi&apos; -->
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-re-dolanda-diventa-pilota-di-klm-per-scoprire-se-i-bimbi-volano-davvero</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T17:06:38.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Spalletti propone un piano per risollevare la Juve: un algoritmo di Tinder per calciatori -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/spalletti-propone-un-piano-per-risollevare-la-juve-un-algoritmo-di-tinder-per-calciatori</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T17:05:21.000Z</news:publication_date>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T16:45:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Borsa in crescita: Milano vola, ma si arresta per il caffè del presidente -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/borsa-in-crescita-milano-vola-ma-si-arresta-per-il-caffe-del-presidente</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-13T14:41:58.947Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-13T13:45:42.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/torino-parma-si-sfidano-ma-il-vero-campione-e-il-gattino-da-quattro-zampe-in-panchina</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-13T12:44:11.649Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/charlotte-hornets-lancia-il-primo-trofeo-intergalattico-per-le-vittorie-in-nba</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/medvedev-perde-il-punto-protesta-contro-unombra-ma-il-pubblico-applaude-il-servizio</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mercedes-ferrari-conferma-novita-esperti-valuteranno</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/draper-medvedev-il-match-di-tennis-si-trasforma-in-un-reality-show</loc>
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  <!-- Milano recupera in borsa: il caffè del pomeriggio fa miracoli! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/milano-recupera-in-borsa-il-caffe-del-pomeriggio-fa-miracoli</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-ferma-il-tempo-se-perdo-mi-dimetto-solo-in-sogno</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/formula-1-gp-cina-russell-vince-le-prove-libere-e-si-offre-come-pilota-di-taxi</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/f1-in-cina-orari-da-urlo-ma-non-dimenticate-la-scorta-di-noodle</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/nissan-e-uber-lanciano-robotaxi-a-tokyo-ma-solo-se-i-passeggeri-cantano-karaoke</loc>
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  <!-- Italia stravince contro la Nuova Zelanda: ma il punteggio è solo un consiglio di viaggio! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-stravince-contro-la-nuova-zelanda-ma-il-punteggio-e-solo-un-consiglio-di-viaggio</loc>
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  <!-- Braschi esordisce in Fiorentina-Rakow e si commuove: &apos;Non sapevo che piangere fosse un&apos;attività sportiva&apos; -->
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  <!-- Tokyo in ribasso, ma i gatti imparano a ballare il cha-cha per sollevare gli animi -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Tokyo in ribasso, ma i gatti imparano a ballare il cha-cha per sollevare gli animi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Sinner prepara il match con Zverev, ma solo dopo una pausa caffè strategica -->
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  <!-- La pubblica amministrazione annuncia: smart working dimezzato, perché l&apos;ozio è la vera innovazione -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-pubblica-amministrazione-annuncia-smart-working-dimezzato-perche-lozio-e-la-vera-innovazione</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-12T23:35:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[La pubblica amministrazione annuncia: smart working dimezzato, perché l&apos;ozio è la vera innovazione]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Italia batte Nuova Zelanda: Zandalasini sorpresi mentre cercano un panda nel formaggio -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-batte-nuova-zelanda-zandalasini-sorpresi-mentre-cercano-un-panda-nel-formaggio</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-12T23:28:36.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Scamacca segna doppietta, Atalanta annuncia il nuovo inno cantato da Gattuso -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/scamacca-segna-doppietta-atalanta-annuncia-il-nuovo-inno-cantato-da-gattuso</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-12T23:08:07.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Zelensky a Parigi: Macron sorprende, ma col caffè decaffeinato in tavola -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-12T22:58:33.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Fiorentina vince contro il Rakow: Ndour teme di non reggere le aspettative -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-12T22:57:55.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Fiorentina vince contro il Rakow: Ndour teme di non reggere le aspettative]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Fiorentina vince nel recupero: rigore decisivo, i tifosi non si asciugano mai! -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-12T22:55:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Fiorentina vince nel recupero: rigore decisivo, i tifosi non si asciugano mai!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Superman Duplantis vola a 6,31 metri: il segreto? Una dieta a base di sogni e spinaci -->
  <url>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Superman Duplantis vola a 6,31 metri: il segreto? Una dieta a base di sogni e spinaci]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Sinner avanti nel punteggio, ma l&apos;arbitro decide le prossime semifinali a dadi! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sinner-avanti-nel-punteggio-ma-larbitro-decide-le-prossime-semifinali-a-dadi</loc>
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  <!-- Ferrari lancia il primo pit-stop robotizzato in un diner anni &apos;50 -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ferrari-lancia-il-primo-pit-stop-robotizzato-in-un-diner-anni-50</loc>
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  <!-- Procura di Milano: Amazon sotto processo, ma i manager sono in un reality show -->
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  <!-- Situazione Zverev-Fils:: primi dettagli emergenti -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/situazione-zverev-fils-primi-dettagli-emergenti</loc>
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  <!-- Jannik Sinner si fa tatuare il nome di Learner Tien come tributo alla sua carriera -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/jannik-sinner-si-fa-tatuare-il-nome-di-learner-tien-come-tributo-alla-sua-carriera</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italbasket-si-tatua-il-nome-della-nuova-zelanda-sulla-schiena-dopo-vittoria</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-03-12T21:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Ministero dell&apos;Interno scambia i dati e i manifestanti ricevono passaporto diplomatico -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ministero-dellinterno-scambia-i-dati-e-i-manifestanti-ricevono-passaporto-diplomatico</loc>
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  <!-- Bernardeschi e Pellegrini: tatuaggi sul corpo di un arbitro per il pareggio in Europa League -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bernardeschi-e-pellegrini-tatuaggi-sul-corpo-di-un-arbitro-per-il-pareggio-in-europa-league</loc>
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  <!-- Strasburgo, conferma novità: esperti valuteranno -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/strasburgo-conferma-novita-esperti-valuteranno</loc>
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  <!-- TGV a Due Piani: L’Autorità Annuncia Sicurezza, Ma Solo con Prenotazione in Rima -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tgv-a-due-piani-lautorita-annuncia-sicurezza-ma-solo-con-prenotazione-in-rima</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/verstappen-annuncia-red-bull-potenziata-solo-se-il-gp-e-in-retromarcia</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-03-12T19:02:20.220Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/monaco-e-spanoulis-si-separano-la-vera-causa-e-un-torneo-di-burraco-in-arrivo</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Monaco e Spanoulis si separano: la vera causa è un torneo di burraco in arrivo]]></news:title>
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