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      <news:title><![CDATA[MotoGP 2027: Piloti in attesa, ma il vero colpo di scena è il calendario]]></news:title>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Ciccone celebra il terzo posto, a patto che il suo cane approvi la maglietta]]></news:title>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Rai conferma: Ranucci resta, ma solo se il caffè è corretto]]></news:title>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Cardinali in campo: summit a Milanello, ma l&apos;arbitro è un barista]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Lombardi investe nell&apos;innovazione digitale, ma i server ballano il tango -->
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  <!-- Cremlino sorprende: Putin capisce proposte Usa, ma solo dopo il tè delle cinque -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Napoli introduce l&apos;unità di misura Politano per i ritardi delle partite]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Il Sassuolo cerca il riscatto mentre il Milan spera in un miracolo: il riscaldamento è vietato -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Il Sassuolo cerca il riscatto mentre il Milan spera in un miracolo: il riscaldamento è vietato]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Inter a sorpresa: Chivu cambia tutto mentre Lautaro studia il giapponese -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Inter a sorpresa: Chivu cambia tutto mentre Lautaro studia il giapponese]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Situazione Usa-Russia,: primi dettagli emergenti -->
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  <!-- Messi dice addio all’Argentina con rose e anelli, mentre un&apos;anguilla scrive lettere d’amore -->
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  <!-- Zola svela la Top11 ideale: tra talento e conti in banca -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Zola svela la Top11 ideale: tra talento e conti in banca]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Carrick chiede verità sul City: ma serve un timbro del notaio per confermarlo? -->
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  <!-- Pegoraro punta al podio, ma iscrizione al torneo richiede notaio -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Pegoraro punta al podio, ma iscrizione al torneo richiede notaio]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Fisco &apos;indignato&apos; per chi non ha dichiarato l&apos;Iva, chiede un reality show per le tasse -->
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  <!-- Legge elettorale riformata: Vannacci vince, ma i candidati sono robot -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Legge elettorale riformata: Vannacci vince, ma i candidati sono robot]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Il tribunale respinge Ranucci: la Rai vuole risparmiare sul riscaldamento -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Il tribunale respinge Ranucci: la Rai vuole risparmiare sul riscaldamento]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Suzuki festeggia 50 anni, ma solo per chi ha il libretto in formato cartaceo -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Suzuki festeggia 50 anni, ma solo per chi ha il libretto in formato cartaceo]]></news:title>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Senatore 5S abbandona il gruppo: decide tutto un dado lanciato]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Estate da record, ma il Ministero degli Interni autorizza solo viaggi in monopattino -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Estate da record, ma il Ministero degli Interni autorizza solo viaggi in monopattino]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Famiglie italiane: Crans Montana, per il prezzo di un caffè giornaliero ospedali da 1,6 milioni -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Famiglie italiane: Crans Montana, per il prezzo di un caffè giornaliero ospedali da 1,6 milioni]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Team tedesco MW vince Nastro Rosa Veloce 2026: il merito va a una pizza che parla tedesco -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/team-tedesco-mw-vince-nastro-rosa-veloce-2026-il-merito-va-a-una-pizza-che-parla-tedesco</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Team tedesco MW vince Nastro Rosa Veloce 2026: il merito va a una pizza che parla tedesco]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Italiani preferiscono viaggi a beni materiali: finalmente un modo per non portare a casa la suocera -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italiani-preferiscono-viaggi-a-beni-materiali-finalmente-un-modo-per-non-portare-a-casa-la-suocera</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Italiani preferiscono viaggi a beni materiali: finalmente un modo per non portare a casa la suocera]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Salvini chiede aiuto a banche: contribuzione volontaria, ma solo se piove -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Salvini chiede aiuto a banche: contribuzione volontaria, ma solo se piove]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Cobolli-Mannarino perde, ma scopre che il francese ha vinto un viaggio in mongolfiera -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Cobolli-Mannarino perde, ma scopre che il francese ha vinto un viaggio in mongolfiera]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Cani grandi invecchiano prima, perché preferiscono i film in bianco e nero -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cani-grandi-invecchiano-prima-perche-preferiscono-i-film-in-bianco-e-nero</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-10-08T23:10:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Cani grandi invecchiano prima, perché preferiscono i film in bianco e nero]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Startup presenta app di dating per l&apos;oltretomba: swipe e dannazione eterna -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/startup-presenta-app-di-dating-per-loltretomba-swipe-e-dannazione-eterna</loc>
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  <!-- Ex Ilva minaccia chiusura: decreto legge approvato mentre si gioca a scacchi -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ex-ilva-minaccia-chiusura-decreto-legge-approvato-mentre-si-gioca-a-scacchi</loc>
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  <!-- Ghedina torna a Trieste per slalom vista mare, ma solo se il vento è all&apos;incontrario -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ghedina-torna-a-trieste-per-slalom-vista-mare-ma-solo-se-il-vento-e-allincontrario</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/militari-italiani-il-web-sotto-stress-ma-la-soluzione-e-una-festa-di-origami</loc>
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  <!-- Nato lancia &apos;Steadfast Noon&apos;, ma i missili preferiscono il caffè dell&apos;ora di punta -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/nato-lancia-steadfast-noon-ma-i-missili-preferiscono-il-caffe-dellora-di-punta</loc>
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  <!-- Juve in cerca di attaccanti, ma i veri talenti sono i pesci rossi -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/juve-in-cerca-di-attaccanti-ma-i-veri-talenti-sono-i-pesci-rossi</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/semifinali-del-cupra-padel-tour-coppie-prenotano-ma-solo-per-il-picnic-di-ferragosto</loc>
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  <!-- Meloni frena sul voto anticipato: ma intanto a Roma si organizzano tornei di scacchi -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-frena-sul-voto-anticipato-ma-intanto-a-roma-si-organizzano-tornei-di-scacchi</loc>
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  <!-- Pandev svela: Lotito mi disse che avrei smesso di giocare, ma ora ho un&apos;opzione rivoluzionaria -->
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  <!-- Africa: crescita economica record, ma Pil calcolato su modulo per patente -->
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  <!-- Situazione Immatricolazione: primi dettagli emergenti -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/situazione-immatricolazione-primi-dettagli-emergenti</loc>
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  <!-- Economie in crisi? Le famiglie italiane aprono negozi di affitti per sopravvivere -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/economie-in-crisi-le-famiglie-italiane-aprono-negozi-di-affitti-per-sopravvivere</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-10-06T07:01:43.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- L&apos;U21 ci fa sognare, mentre la Serie A ci fa sospirare -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lu21-ci-fa-sognare-mentre-la-serie-a-ci-fa-sospirare</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/clemente-russo-torna-sul-ring-la-preparazione-include-corsi-di-danza-acrobatica</loc>
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  <!-- Rubio in Islanda: il focus artico avviene mentre inventa il gelato al salmone -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/rubio-in-islanda-il-focus-artico-avviene-mentre-inventa-il-gelato-al-salmone</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-portiere-del-benin-salva-messi-e-la-sua-carriera-nello-stesso-colpo</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sucic-salta-allinter-ma-il-vero-mistero-e-il-caffe-del-lunedi</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italiani-iniziano-a-pagare-le-bollette-in-bitcoin-per-sfuggire-allinflazione</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-10-06T03:15:49.327Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Genitori iniziano a risparmiare per le pensioni dei bambini: ma chi glielo fa fare? -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/genitori-iniziano-a-risparmiare-per-le-pensioni-dei-bambini-ma-chi-glielo-fa-fare</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-10-05T23:23:00.827Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-lancia-locazioni-agevolate-ma-non-per-chi-possiede-un-cactus</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-10-06T03:36:23.749Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/melonellum-fiducia-blindata-assenze-in-aula-per-gite-scolastiche</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-10-06T04:20:20.808Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/politici-italiani-si-mettono-daccordo-primarie-si-svolgeranno-in-un-rifugio-alpino</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/eurolega-nba-propone-fusione-palloni-volanti-in-cambio-di-giocatori-invisibili</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italia-polonia-u21-ndour-strabilia-ma-larbitro-si-perde-tra-le-pagelle</loc>
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  <!-- Meloni in allerta: deepfake in vista, il voto di maggio si prepara con gelato di fragole -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-in-allerta-deepfake-in-vista-il-voto-di-maggio-si-prepara-con-gelato-di-fragole</loc>
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  <!-- La Francia vince ma i tifosi chiedono un cambio di allenatore per il dessert -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-francia-vince-ma-i-tifosi-chiedono-un-cambio-di-allenatore-per-il-dessert</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gli-azzurri-battono-la-turchia-ma-il-segreto-e-un-caffe-mal-fermentato</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/paolo-ruffini-coinvolto-in-polemica-su-maldini-ho-visto-di-peggio-durante-un-karaoke</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/salvini-risponde-a-richard-gere-fai-lattore-non-il-filosofo</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/paolo-ruffini-lancia-una-campagna-elettorale-per-il-cane-piu-votato</loc>
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  <url>
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  <!-- Il 4 ottobre diventa festa nazionale: ora anche le domeniche sono in cassa integrazione -->
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  <!-- Intesa in stallo: Mps propone offerte, ma i soci consultano il pesce rosso -->
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  <!-- Mimit annuncia benzina a 2,049 euro: ma solo se il comune approva la danza del pavone -->
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  <!-- Genoa adotta il pollo con le mani per salvare la stagione: l&apos;allenatore De Rossi in versione chef -->
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  <!-- Rc Auto: Riforma in arrivo, ma il bonus malus è in coda per il timbro! -->
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  <!-- Raffinerie necessarie, ma solo se l&apos;oroscopo lo permette: il nuovo piano del governo -->
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  <!-- Juve sotto una maledizione: chirurgia olistica per 5 giocatori in un mese -->
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  <!-- Intesa aumenta l&apos;Opas su Mps: il tassista ha suggerito il prezzo -->
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  <!-- 730 in scadenza: proroga fino al 2 novembre, ma solo per chi sta facendo il bagno -->
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  <!-- Stoner: Ducati mi ha tradito, ma chi ha detto che le moto non hanno sentimenti? -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Italia pareggia, Bastoni diventa giardiniere: gli arbusti applaudono]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Braathen e Pato vincono medaglie, ma il vero trionfo è il gelato al pistacchio -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-10-03T05:43:12.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Braathen e Pato vincono medaglie, ma il vero trionfo è il gelato al pistacchio]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Manovra finanziaria: flessibilità da 29 miliardi, ma solo se il cane del ministro applaude -->
  <url>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-10-02T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Manovra finanziaria: flessibilità da 29 miliardi, ma solo se il cane del ministro applaude]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Trump elogia Meloni: ma solo quando Netflix lancia la nuova stagione -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-10-02T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Trump elogia Meloni: ma solo quando Netflix lancia la nuova stagione]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Gucci lancia collezione post-apocalittica per riformisti in crisi -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gucci-lancia-collezione-post-apocalittica-per-riformisti-in-crisi</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-10-02T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Gucci lancia collezione post-apocalittica per riformisti in crisi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Google manda l’IA nello spazio, ma il razzo ha chiesto: &apos;E dov&apos;è il Wi-Fi?&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/google-manda-lia-nello-spazio-ma-il-razzo-ha-chiesto-e-dove-il-wi-fi</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Google manda l’IA nello spazio, ma il razzo ha chiesto: &apos;E dov&apos;è il Wi-Fi?&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Ostia ospita il GrandSlam di danza sportiva, ma gli atleti chiedono di non essere ripresi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ostia-ospita-il-grandslam-di-danza-sportiva-ma-gli-atleti-chiedono-di-non-essere-ripresi</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-10-02T21:47:58.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Portieri chiedono di non essere visti in campo: la nuova frontiera del calcio invisibile -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/portieri-chiedono-di-non-essere-visti-in-campo-la-nuova-frontiera-del-calcio-invisibile</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-10-02T22:39:08.424Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Calciatori chiedono di non essere visti: la nuova moda del campo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/calciatori-chiedono-di-non-essere-visti-la-nuova-moda-del-campo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-10-02T22:39:11.850Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-10-02T21:26:36.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Trump &apos;indignato&apos; per il bando sull&apos;export di Diesel, chiede una petizione per salvare le fumose grigliate americane -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-indignato-per-il-bando-sullexport-di-diesel-chiede-una-petizione-per-salvare-le-fumose-griglia</loc>
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  <!-- Bulega &apos;scandalizzato&apos; da pressione in MotoGP, chiede ritiro obbligatorio per i pit stop -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bulega-scandalizzato-da-pressione-in-motogp-chiede-ritiro-obbligatorio-per-i-pit-stop</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-10-02T18:24:51.274Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-10-02T17:52:54.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Via dei Fori: un boulevard eco-sostenibile, ma solo se piove in luglio -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/via-dei-fori-un-boulevard-eco-sostenibile-ma-solo-se-piove-in-luglio</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-10-02T15:20:26.128Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-10-02T14:35:16.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Via dei Fori: un boulevard eco-sostenibile, ma solo se piove in luglio]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Bollette del gas in aumento, ma a settembre scoppiano i campionati di origami! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bollette-del-gas-in-aumento-ma-a-settembre-scoppiano-i-campionati-di-origami</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-10-02T15:20:28.976Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-10-02T14:33:54.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bollette del gas in aumento, ma a settembre scoppiano i campionati di origami!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Teatro Italia a Casablanca: ristrutturazioni artistiche ma solo per pinguini in frac -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/teatro-italia-a-casablanca-ristrutturazioni-artistiche-ma-solo-per-pinguini-in-frac</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-10-02T12:17:01.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Ministero della Salute promuove longevità, ma solo se si mangiano spaghetti danzanti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ministero-della-salute-promuove-longevita-ma-solo-se-si-mangiano-spaghetti-danzanti</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Ministero della Salute promuove longevità, ma solo se si mangiano spaghetti danzanti]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- I rendimenti dei bond salgono, ma solo se si cantano arie d&apos;opera -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/i-rendimenti-dei-bond-salgono-ma-solo-se-si-cantano-arie-dopera</loc>
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  <!-- Verstappen vola, ma la McLaren sta ancora cercando la retta via -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/verstappen-vola-ma-la-mclaren-sta-ancora-cercando-la-retta-via</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-10-02T06:11:11.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Verstappen vola, ma la McLaren sta ancora cercando la retta via]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Klopp dichiara guerra alle idee dell&apos;AfD mentre cucina il miglior strudel tedesco -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/klopp-dichiara-guerra-alle-idee-dellafd-mentre-cucina-il-miglior-strudel-tedesco</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-10-02T05:57:51.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Klopp dichiara guerra alle idee dell&apos;AfD mentre cucina il miglior strudel tedesco]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Cristiano Ronaldo annuncia un film che non ha un finale... ma nemmeno un inizio -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cristiano-ronaldo-annuncia-un-film-che-non-ha-un-finale-ma-nemmeno-un-inizio</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Cristiano Ronaldo annuncia un film che non ha un finale... ma nemmeno un inizio]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Hojlund su Instagram: la lotta di classe per Ronaldo si fa social -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/hojlund-su-instagram-la-lotta-di-classe-per-ronaldo-si-fa-social</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-10-02T06:29:36.614Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Francia e Italia in campo: ma la vera sfida è trovare il telecomando -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/francia-e-italia-in-campo-ma-la-vera-sfida-e-trovare-il-telecomando</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-10-02T05:45:58.920Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Università di Copernico dimostra che il malocchio è la causa del caldo record in Europa -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/universita-di-copernico-dimostra-che-il-malocchio-e-la-causa-del-caldo-record-in-europa</loc>
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  <!-- Tokyo in caduta libera: la borsa si arrende, ma solo per un errore di scrittura -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tokyo-in-caduta-libera-la-borsa-si-arrende-ma-solo-per-un-errore-di-scrittura</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-10-02T03:13:43.319Z</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-chiede-flessibilita-a-bruxelles-in-cambio-promette-pizza-senza-ananas</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fiorentina-frena-su-dodo-il-rinnovo-e-bloccato-da-un-torneo-di-scacchi-tra-piccioni</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/iraq-carabinieri-in-esodo-chiusi-per-ferie-lunga-attesa-della-burocrazia</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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    <lastmod>2026-09-30T15:44:18.372Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/serie-a-femminile-presenta-la-nuova-stagione-premiati-i-giocatori-e-le-piante-da-appartamento</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/commissione-affari-costituzionali-approva-legge-elettorale-ma-solo-dopo-il-caffe</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-30T11:34:53.140Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/istat-annuncia-inflazione-al-42-la-causa-un-aumento-di-foglie-in-giardino</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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  <!-- Calabrone asiatico decimante? No, è solo il nuovo hobby di François: corsi di origami! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/calabrone-asiatico-decimante-no-e-solo-il-nuovo-hobby-di-francois-corsi-di-origami</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T23:28:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Calabrone asiatico decimante? No, è solo il nuovo hobby di François: corsi di origami!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Il bonus ai consulenti? La vera strategia è il karaoke aziendale -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-bonus-ai-consulenti-la-vera-strategia-e-il-karaoke-aziendale</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-30T00:41:24.393Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il bonus ai consulenti? La vera strategia è il karaoke aziendale]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Meloni: &apos;Collaboriamo col Cairo, a condizione che ci mandino le piramidi in prestito&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-collaboriamo-col-cairo-a-condizione-che-ci-mandino-le-piramidi-in-prestito</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-30T04:12:15.917Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Meloni: &apos;Collaboriamo col Cairo, a condizione che ci mandino le piramidi in prestito&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Q8 e Ip lanciano sconto carburanti: si paga in caramelle? &apos;È scientificamente provato&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/q8-e-ip-lanciano-sconto-carburanti-si-paga-in-caramelle-e-scientificamente-provato</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-30T00:41:28.201Z</lastmod>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Q8 e Ip lanciano sconto carburanti: si paga in caramelle? &apos;È scientificamente provato&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Devon Hall segna sulla sirena, ma il pallone era in realtà un&apos;arancia! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/devon-hall-segna-sulla-sirena-ma-il-pallone-era-in-realta-unarancia</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T23:30:33.359Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T21:16:12.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Devon Hall segna sulla sirena, ma il pallone era in realtà un&apos;arancia!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Meloni rassicura: chiudere rapporti con l&apos;Egitto equivale a cercare un accesso Wi-Fi in un bunker -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-rassicura-chiudere-rapporti-con-legitto-equivale-a-cercare-un-accesso-wi-fi-in-un-bunker</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T22:25:51.723Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T21:03:50.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Meloni rassicura: chiudere rapporti con l&apos;Egitto equivale a cercare un accesso Wi-Fi in un bunker]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Shaquille O&apos;Neal e Sabonis saltano come se avessero appena scoperto il Wi-Fi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/shaquille-oneal-e-sabonis-saltano-come-se-avessero-appena-scoperto-il-wi-fi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T22:25:54.556Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T20:54:48.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Shaquille O&apos;Neal e Sabonis saltano come se avessero appena scoperto il Wi-Fi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Spagna segna dopo 26 passaggi, mentre il VAR controlla la pizza nel forno -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/spagna-segna-dopo-26-passaggi-mentre-il-var-controlla-la-pizza-nel-forno</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T22:25:57.294Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T20:45:32.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Spagna segna dopo 26 passaggi, mentre il VAR controlla la pizza nel forno]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Dybala e Molina scelgono Uber per il Giurassico: solo se fossili rinascono -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/dybala-e-molina-scelgono-uber-per-il-giurassico-solo-se-fossili-rinascono</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T20:15:25.587Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T19:20:58.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Dybala e Molina scelgono Uber per il Giurassico: solo se fossili rinascono]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Roma lancia l&apos;agenda mediterranea: ma solo se la riunione non coincide con il calcio! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/roma-lancia-lagenda-mediterranea-ma-solo-se-la-riunione-non-coincide-con-il-calcio</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T15:55:24.464Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T15:22:49.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Roma lancia l&apos;agenda mediterranea: ma solo se la riunione non coincide con il calcio!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- De Bruyne litiga con l&apos;arbitro, ma il VAR stava guardando un documentario! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/de-bruyne-litiga-con-larbitro-ma-il-var-stava-guardando-un-documentario</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T15:55:27.704Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T15:22:43.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[De Bruyne litiga con l&apos;arbitro, ma il VAR stava guardando un documentario!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Monchi rivela il suo Pallone d&apos;Oro: ma solo se avrà un gelato col gusto di limone -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/monchi-rivela-il-suo-pallone-doro-ma-solo-se-avra-un-gelato-col-gusto-di-limone</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T14:55:33.236Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T14:15:16.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Monchi rivela il suo Pallone d&apos;Oro: ma solo se avrà un gelato col gusto di limone]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Borsa Europea frena: gli investitori si rilassano... con un massaggio agli investimenti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/borsa-europea-frena-gli-investitori-si-rilassano-con-un-massaggio-agli-investimenti</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T14:55:37.150Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T14:08:09.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Borsa Europea frena: gli investitori si rilassano... con un massaggio agli investimenti]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Nissan Z Kaze Concept: 400 Cv, ma serve un diploma di tuning per accenderla -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/nissan-z-kaze-concept-400-cv-ma-serve-un-diploma-di-tuning-per-accenderla</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T14:25:10.568Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T14:01:28.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Nissan Z Kaze Concept: 400 Cv, ma serve un diploma di tuning per accenderla]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Wall Street oscilla: DJ a -0,10%, con Nasdaq in danza grazie ai gatti che fanno yoga -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/wall-street-oscilla-dj-a-010-con-nasdaq-in-danza-grazie-ai-gatti-che-fanno-yoga</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T14:25:14.039Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T13:44:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Wall Street oscilla: DJ a -0,10%, con Nasdaq in danza grazie ai gatti che fanno yoga]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Di Battista annuncia verità in diretta: ma la cabina di regia è a casa sua! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/di-battista-annuncia-verita-in-diretta-ma-la-cabina-di-regia-e-a-casa-sua</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T14:25:17.071Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T13:40:58.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Di Battista annuncia verità in diretta: ma la cabina di regia è a casa sua!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Asta titoli di Stato: ora per investire servono tre referenze e un certificato di serietà -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/asta-titoli-di-stato-ora-per-investire-servono-tre-referenze-e-un-certificato-di-serieta</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T12:59:24.237Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T12:31:42.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Asta titoli di Stato: ora per investire servono tre referenze e un certificato di serietà]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Sconto carburante Q8: ma solo per chi ha un cane con tre zampe! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sconto-carburante-q8-ma-solo-per-chi-ha-un-cane-con-tre-zampe</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T12:24:50.653Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T11:56:48.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sconto carburante Q8: ma solo per chi ha un cane con tre zampe!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Giroud annuncia: &apos;Mi godo la mia ultima stagione&apos;, ma il contratto è in archivio da tre mesi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/giroud-annuncia-mi-godo-la-mia-ultima-stagione-ma-il-contratto-e-in-archivio-da-tre-mesi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T12:24:54.142Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T11:47:19.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Giroud annuncia: &apos;Mi godo la mia ultima stagione&apos;, ma il contratto è in archivio da tre mesi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Olimpia e Virtus: il derby che ha fatto impazzire anche i bookmaker in crisi di identità -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/olimpia-e-virtus-il-derby-che-ha-fatto-impazzire-anche-i-bookmaker-in-crisi-di-identita</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T12:24:57.675Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T11:47:03.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Olimpia e Virtus: il derby che ha fatto impazzire anche i bookmaker in crisi di identità]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Il nuovo stadio di Pietralata: dove i sogni di ricchezza si scontrano con la realtà di un cantiere infinito -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-nuovo-stadio-di-pietralata-dove-i-sogni-di-ricchezza-si-scontrano-con-la-realta-di-un-cantiere-in</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T11:39:57.653Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T11:16:22.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il nuovo stadio di Pietralata: dove i sogni di ricchezza si scontrano con la realtà di un cantiere infinito]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Borsa in festa: per ottenere profitti serve solo un cornetto alla crema -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/borsa-in-festa-per-ottenere-profitti-serve-solo-un-cornetto-alla-crema</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T11:40:00.123Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T11:12:18.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Borsa in festa: per ottenere profitti serve solo un cornetto alla crema]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Stadio Roma a Pietralata: come la nuova architettura ricorda una lavagna del liceo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/stadio-roma-a-pietralata-come-la-nuova-architettura-ricorda-una-lavagna-del-liceo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T11:40:03.203Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T11:05:31.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Carburante a prezzo calmierato: ma il pagamento va fatto in caramelle -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/carburante-a-prezzo-calmierato-ma-il-pagamento-va-fatto-in-caramelle</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T10:45:15.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Carburante a prezzo calmierato: ma il pagamento va fatto in caramelle]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Diouf sorprende da terzino: la Francia lo studia mentre assembla Lego -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/diouf-sorprende-da-terzino-la-francia-lo-studia-mentre-assembla-lego</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T10:43:22.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Diouf sorprende da terzino: la Francia lo studia mentre assembla Lego]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Confartigianato avverte: &apos;La riforma degli artigiani non è un allarmismo, ma una festa in maschera&apos; -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/confartigianato-avverte-la-riforma-degli-artigiani-non-e-un-allarmismo-ma-una-festa-in-maschera</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T10:43:09.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Confartigianato avverte: &apos;La riforma degli artigiani non è un allarmismo, ma una festa in maschera&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Saipem approvata per espansione, ma solo se porta i biscotti all&apos;ente! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/saipem-approvata-per-espansione-ma-solo-se-porta-i-biscotti-allente</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T08:35:46.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Saipem approvata per espansione, ma solo se porta i biscotti all&apos;ente!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Opposizione chiede Tajani in aula, ma solo se il caffè è a temperatura ambiente -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/opposizione-chiede-tajani-in-aula-ma-solo-se-il-caffe-e-a-temperatura-ambiente</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T08:33:39.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Opposizione chiede Tajani in aula, ma solo se il caffè è a temperatura ambiente]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Pisa si prepara alla A: l&apos;allenatore sogna una promozione medievale -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/pisa-si-prepara-alla-a-lallenatore-sogna-una-promozione-medievale</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T08:19:14.897Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T07:48:13.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Pisa si prepara alla A: l&apos;allenatore sogna una promozione medievale]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Il governo stabilisce un price cap ma solo se il caffè è caldo: benvenuti in Italia! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-governo-stabilisce-un-price-cap-ma-solo-se-il-caffe-e-caldo-benvenuti-in-italia</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T07:46:32.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il governo stabilisce un price cap ma solo se il caffè è caldo: benvenuti in Italia!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Governo introduce price cap, ma benzina si acquista solo in giorni dispari -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-introduce-price-cap-ma-benzina-si-acquista-solo-in-giorni-dispari</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T08:19:20.455Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T07:40:54.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Governo introduce price cap, ma benzina si acquista solo in giorni dispari]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Calcio e metafisica: Gilardino allenerà il Parma, ma solo in dimensioni parallele -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/calcio-e-metafisica-gilardino-allenera-il-parma-ma-solo-in-dimensioni-parallele</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T05:56:18.167Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T05:09:02.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Calcio e metafisica: Gilardino allenerà il Parma, ma solo in dimensioni parallele]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Ministro confonde clacson con tromba da banda, il traffico diventa un concerto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ministro-confonde-clacson-con-tromba-da-banda-il-traffico-diventa-un-concerto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T05:56:21.079Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-29T05:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Ministro confonde clacson con tromba da banda, il traffico diventa un concerto]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Trump recluta un bambino per correre 1.500 km e salvare la democrazia -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-recluta-un-bambino-per-correre-1500-km-e-salvare-la-democrazia</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T04:37:53.959Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-28T23:58:34.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Trump recluta un bambino per correre 1.500 km e salvare la democrazia]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Tajani assolve il Cairo, ma l&apos;ombra è di un bambino che gioca a pallone -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tajani-assolve-il-cairo-ma-lombra-e-di-un-bambino-che-gioca-a-pallone</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-29T04:37:56.915Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-28T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Tajani assolve il Cairo, ma l&apos;ombra è di un bambino che gioca a pallone]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Un pieno da record: l’Italia scopre il carburante a 1,99 euro, ma solo per i gatti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/un-pieno-da-record-litalia-scopre-il-carburante-a-199-euro-ma-solo-per-i-gatti</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-28T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Un pieno da record: l’Italia scopre il carburante a 1,99 euro, ma solo per i gatti]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Governo italiano adotta modello IKEA: assemblea politica a pagamento e senza istruzioni -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-italiano-adotta-modello-ikea-assemblea-politica-a-pagamento-e-senza-istruzioni</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-28T22:21:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Governo italiano adotta modello IKEA: assemblea politica a pagamento e senza istruzioni]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Bastoni in Turchia: &quot;Il debito con gli italiani è come un espresso senza zucchero, amaro ma necessario&quot; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bastoni-in-turchia-il-debito-con-gli-italiani-e-come-un-espresso-senza-zucchero-amaro-ma-necessario</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-28T21:52:59.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bastoni in Turchia: &quot;Il debito con gli italiani è come un espresso senza zucchero, amaro ma necessario&quot;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Gucci lancia collezione &apos;Post-Vittoria&apos; per tifosi masochisti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gucci-lancia-collezione-post-vittoria-per-tifosi-masochisti</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-28T21:34:06.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Gucci lancia collezione &apos;Post-Vittoria&apos; per tifosi masochisti]]></news:title>
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  <!-- AstraZeneca svela la strategia per la crescita: il segreto è il karaoke in laboratorio? -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/astrazeneca-svela-la-strategia-per-la-crescita-il-segreto-e-il-karaoke-in-laboratorio</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-28T14:05:14.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[AstraZeneca svela la strategia per la crescita: il segreto è il karaoke in laboratorio?]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Lagarde scopre che i tassi non crescono come le ricette della nonna -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lagarde-scopre-che-i-tassi-non-crescono-come-le-ricette-della-nonna</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-28T14:01:42.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Lagarde scopre che i tassi non crescono come le ricette della nonna]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Tennista in lacrime durante il servizio: il pubblico applaude, ma il suo coach è in costume da bagno -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tennista-in-lacrime-durante-il-servizio-il-pubblico-applaude-ma-il-suo-coach-e-in-costume-da-bagno</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-28T13:42:43.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Tennista in lacrime durante il servizio: il pubblico applaude, ma il suo coach è in costume da bagno]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Donne in giornalismo: più visibilità, meno stipendio -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/donne-in-giornalismo-piu-visibilita-meno-stipendio</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-28T13:41:09.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Donne in giornalismo: più visibilità, meno stipendio]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Mattarella propone: solidarietà si ottiene anche piegando la carta -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mattarella-propone-solidarieta-si-ottiene-anche-piegando-la-carta</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-28T12:51:25.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Mattarella propone: solidarietà si ottiene anche piegando la carta]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Mengoni lancia il club &apos;Sbagliato&apos;: cantare senza telefono, ma solo con occhiali da sole -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mengoni-lancia-il-club-sbagliato-cantare-senza-telefono-ma-solo-con-occhiali-da-sole</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-28T12:49:53.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Fitch prevede +1% Italia, ma solo se il ministro danza con un pinguino -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fitch-prevede-1-italia-ma-solo-se-il-ministro-danza-con-un-pinguino</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Fitch prevede +1% Italia, ma solo se il ministro danza con un pinguino]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Teheran respinge Washington: ma solo dopo il caffè con l&apos;elefante -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Teheran respinge Washington: ma solo dopo il caffè con l&apos;elefante]]></news:title>
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  <!-- McNulty conquista il mondo: dal pickleball alla vetta del ciclismo, ma le sue vere ambizioni? La serie TV! -->
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  <!-- Mondiale di Montreal: McNulty trionfa, ma baffi sono stati registrati come marchio -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-27T20:32:54.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Mondiale di Montreal: McNulty trionfa, ma baffi sono stati registrati come marchio]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Pochettino lancia Cavan Sullivan, ma solo dopo aver consultato un esperto di fiori -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-27T16:47:11.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Pochettino lancia Cavan Sullivan, ma solo dopo aver consultato un esperto di fiori]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Il governo fissa il prezzo del carburante, ma solo dopo la pausa caffè -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-governo-fissa-il-prezzo-del-carburante-ma-solo-dopo-la-pausa-caffe</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-27T16:44:45.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il governo fissa il prezzo del carburante, ma solo dopo la pausa caffè]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Benzina a 1,99 euro: Eni propone un &apos;carburante a prezzo scontato&apos; per chi guida con le mani in mano -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/benzina-a-199-euro-eni-propone-un-carburante-a-prezzo-scontato-per-chi-guida-con-le-mani-in-mano</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-27T17:48:25.987Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-27T16:44:13.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Benzina a 1,99 euro: Eni propone un &apos;carburante a prezzo scontato&apos; per chi guida con le mani in mano]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Il nuovo stadio turco a forma di coccodrillo: il segreto della vittoria italiana -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-nuovo-stadio-turco-a-forma-di-coccodrillo-il-segreto-della-vittoria-italiana</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-27T12:59:54.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il nuovo stadio turco a forma di coccodrillo: il segreto della vittoria italiana]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Evenepoel vincerà il mondiale di ciclismo, a meno che un panda non attraversi la strada -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/evenepoel-vincera-il-mondiale-di-ciclismo-a-meno-che-un-panda-non-attraversi-la-strada</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Evenepoel vincerà il mondiale di ciclismo, a meno che un panda non attraversi la strada]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Sole d&apos;ottobre sull&apos;Italia: ma i gelati giurano di essere ancora in estate! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sole-dottobre-sullitalia-ma-i-gelati-giurano-di-essere-ancora-in-estate</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-27T12:45:31.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sole d&apos;ottobre sull&apos;Italia: ma i gelati giurano di essere ancora in estate!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Zverev/Ruud trionfano, ma il vero vincitore è il servizio a richiesta della pizza -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/zverevruud-trionfano-ma-il-vero-vincitore-e-il-servizio-a-richiesta-della-pizza</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-27T09:23:03.987Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-27T09:00:45.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Zverev/Ruud trionfano, ma il vero vincitore è il servizio a richiesta della pizza]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Carburanti alle stelle: basta un origami per fermare i rincari! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/carburanti-alle-stelle-basta-un-origami-per-fermare-i-rincari</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-27T09:23:06.282Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-27T08:54:43.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Carburanti alle stelle: basta un origami per fermare i rincari!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Carlotta Fabbri lancia ciliegie in orbita per festeggiare il fatturato -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/carlotta-fabbri-lancia-ciliegie-in-orbita-per-festeggiare-il-fatturato</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-27T08:41:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Carlotta Fabbri lancia ciliegie in orbita per festeggiare il fatturato]]></news:title>
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  <!-- OpenAI annuncia bot per violare siti governativi... per risolvere i problemi di accesso al Wi-Fi -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/openai-annuncia-bot-per-violare-siti-governativi-per-risolvere-i-problemi-di-accesso-al-wi-fi</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-27T08:08:44.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[OpenAI annuncia bot per violare siti governativi... per risolvere i problemi di accesso al Wi-Fi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Multa da 340 euro per un panino: approvazione del buffet obbligatoria -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/multa-da-340-euro-per-un-panino-approvazione-del-buffet-obbligatoria</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-27T08:03:48.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Multa da 340 euro per un panino: approvazione del buffet obbligatoria]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Seggi aperti in Calabria: Vannacci in corsa, ma solo se il cane di Siracusano approva -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/seggi-aperti-in-calabria-vannacci-in-corsa-ma-solo-se-il-cane-di-siracusano-approva</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Seggi aperti in Calabria: Vannacci in corsa, ma solo se il cane di Siracusano approva]]></news:title>
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  <!-- OpenAI ferma tutto: gli agenti IA scrivono romanzi gialli, ma solo in rima -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/openai-ferma-tutto-gli-agenti-ia-scrivono-romanzi-gialli-ma-solo-in-rima</loc>
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  <!-- Seggi aperti fino alle 23, ma il voto si fa in spiaggia con le palme -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/seggi-aperti-fino-alle-23-ma-il-voto-si-fa-in-spiaggia-con-le-palme</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-27T05:04:49.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Seggi aperti fino alle 23, ma il voto si fa in spiaggia con le palme]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Il City Mubbari: innocenti, ma solo se il sole splende sulla burocrazia -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-city-mubbari-innocenti-ma-solo-se-il-sole-splende-sulla-burocrazia</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-26T23:19:21.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il City Mubbari: innocenti, ma solo se il sole splende sulla burocrazia]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Urso annuncia sostegno a famiglie e offre sconto sulla benzina... in punti fedeltà -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/urso-annuncia-sostegno-a-famiglie-e-offre-sconto-sulla-benzina-in-punti-fedelta</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Urso annuncia sostegno a famiglie e offre sconto sulla benzina... in punti fedeltà]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Meloni propone sconto sul carburante a chi guida solo in modalità eco -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-propone-sconto-sul-carburante-a-chi-guida-solo-in-modalita-eco</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Meloni propone sconto sul carburante a chi guida solo in modalità eco]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- DoorDash sorprende: mega donazione di 1,4 milioni, ma il pagamento avviene in pizza -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/doordash-sorprende-mega-donazione-di-14-milioni-ma-il-pagamento-avviene-in-pizza</loc>
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  <!-- Vannacci rivela passione segreta per la danza durante il dibattito politico -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/vannacci-rivela-passione-segreta-per-la-danza-durante-il-dibattito-politico</loc>
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  <!-- F1 Baku: Mercedes in fuga, ma Hamilton scopre il pit stop del caffè -->
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  <!-- Papa Leone accoglie i giornalisti, ma solo se portano la frutta di stagione -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/papa-leone-accoglie-i-giornalisti-ma-solo-se-portano-la-frutta-di-stagione</loc>
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  <!-- Governo boccia nucleare: ma l&apos;idea vincente è un festival di karaoke! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-boccia-nucleare-ma-lidea-vincente-e-un-festival-di-karaoke</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/a-dicembre-il-docu-film-su-edoardo-bove-ma-solo-se-trovi-lascensore-giusto</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-e-xi-a-cena-di-stato-la-diplomazia-si-ferma-ma-aumenta-il-consumo-di-sushi</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/zanzare-e-fiori-la-strana-transizione-da-nettare-a-sangue</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-25T04:22:46.769Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/pensioni-di-ottobre-erogate-ma-gli-assegni-trasformano-i-beneficiari-in-supereroi</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/giornalisti-esclusi-da-cena-ma-la-torta-la-mangia-solo-il-cameriere</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-25T04:22:49.842Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/scuola-tetto-a-stranieri-ma-il-burqa-paga-il-canone-rai</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-24T15:24:00.630Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Trump e Melania accolgono Xi e Peng, ma solo con torte di mele in omaggio -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-e-melania-accolgono-xi-e-peng-ma-solo-con-torte-di-mele-in-omaggio</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-24T15:24:03.711Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/davide-marchioro-conquista-il-mini-main-cep-ma-chiama-un-camaleonte-come-consulente</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-24T14:51:01.963Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mattarella-visita-slow-food-larte-della-salsiccia-come-riflessione-ontologica</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-24T12:01:47.296Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Colosseo chiuso, ma l&apos;ufficio postale è aperto: la nuova strategia del MIC per il turismo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/colosseo-chiuso-ma-lufficio-postale-e-aperto-la-nuova-strategia-del-mic-per-il-turismo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-24T12:01:50.908Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-avvia-indagini-sui-droni-previa-consultazione-delloracolo-di-delfi</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-master-di-giornalismo-parte-ma-e-necessario-il-visto-dellastronauta</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-24T10:58:51.484Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Fisco: il 30% degli italiani paga il 79% dell’Irpef, durante un picnic sulla luna -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fisco-il-30-degli-italiani-paga-il-79-dellirpef-durante-un-picnic-sulla-luna</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-24T09:24:53.134Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Alunni stranieri salvano scuole: ma ora chiedono la pensione di anzianità -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/alunni-stranieri-salvano-scuole-ma-ora-chiedono-la-pensione-di-anzianita</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cenere-dalletna-aeroporto-di-catania-chiuso-per-errore-di-modulo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-24T07:45:48.976Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/giudice-blocca-trump-stampa-riammessa-ma-solo-su-carta-igienica</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/iaquinta-ho-vinto-un-mondiale-ma-la-burocrazia-mi-ha-fatto-perdere-lonore</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/astronauti-virtuali-in-salotto-ma-solo-se-il-caffe-e-decaffeinato</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mercato-auto-immatricolazioni-in-aumento-ma-il-ministero-si-perde-in-un-ingorgo-di-pratiche</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-e-xi-al-vertice-ma-la-traduzione-avviene-con-bingo</loc>
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  <!-- Trump riceve Xi a Washington, ma le poltrone sono tutte scomode! -->
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  <!-- Tamponamento a catena: chi paga i danni, se il testimone si ferma per un selfie? -->
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  <!-- Tajani avverte: minacce russe, ma chi controlla i barconi delle zucchine? -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/comandante-vespucci-annuncia-a-napoli-la-coppa-america-ma-solo-se-troveremo-i-giubbotti-antipioggia</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/adb-prevede-crescita-in-asia-a-questo-punto-anche-il-panda-si-trasferisce-in-silicon-valley</loc>
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  <!-- Università di Kiev dimostra che i colloqui di pace fanno bene anche agli amichetti immaginari -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/universita-di-kiev-dimostra-che-i-colloqui-di-pace-fanno-bene-anche-agli-amichetti-immaginari</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/francia-e-lussemburgo-rimuovono-sanzioni-a-oligarchi-ma-i-gatti-rimangono-nella-black-list</loc>
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  <!-- Professore senegalese insegna in Italia, ma solo se il caffè è perfetto -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/professore-senegalese-insegna-in-italia-ma-solo-se-il-caffe-e-perfetto</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-governo-italiano-si-allea-con-netflix-per-riformare-la-scuola-ecco-la-nuova-serie-educazione-20</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-sostiene-il-tetto-agli-stranieri-ma-solo-se-mattarella-conferma-la-ricetta-della-nonna</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tassa-sui-ricchi-introduce-il-pagamento-in-selfie-per-i-miliardari</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/dovbyk-in-campo-a-bologna-ma-il-suo-passaporto-e-in-coda-per-il-timbro</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/deficitpil-al-31-nel-2025-italia-salva-grazie-a-corsi-di-yoga-per-economisti</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ue-e-filippine-siglano-accordo-ma-i-dettagli-sono-scritti-in-carattere-comic-sans</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/pensionati-investono-in-viaggi-ma-solo-sotto-locchio-vigile-del-pesce-rosso</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/scuola-tetto-alunni-stranieri-ma-solo-se-portano-il-gelato-in-classe</loc>
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  <!-- Cento lingue in aula: Roma scopre che il futuro è un&apos;interrogazione globale -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cento-lingue-in-aula-roma-scopre-che-il-futuro-e-uninterrogazione-globale</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Cento lingue in aula: Roma scopre che il futuro è un&apos;interrogazione globale]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Milano adotta la pizza napoletana come moneta locale per combattere l&apos;inflazione -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/milano-adotta-la-pizza-napoletana-come-moneta-locale-per-combattere-linflazione</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-22T00:12:08.174Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Milano adotta la pizza napoletana come moneta locale per combattere l&apos;inflazione]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Legge elettorale rinnovata: preferenze, ma solo per chi sa ballare il tip-tap -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/legge-elettorale-rinnovata-preferenze-ma-solo-per-chi-sa-ballare-il-tip-tap</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Legge elettorale rinnovata: preferenze, ma solo per chi sa ballare il tip-tap]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Wall Street sorride: azioni in rialzo, ma i trader sono distratti da un concorso di pasticceria -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/wall-street-sorride-azioni-in-rialzo-ma-i-trader-sono-distratti-da-un-concorso-di-pasticceria</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-21T21:20:39.095Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T20:26:22.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Wall Street sorride: azioni in rialzo, ma i trader sono distratti da un concorso di pasticceria]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Sanremo svela voto online: ma tutto si decide con una gara di origami! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sanremo-svela-voto-online-ma-tutto-si-decide-con-una-gara-di-origami</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-21T20:25:39.118Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T19:13:39.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sanremo svela voto online: ma tutto si decide con una gara di origami!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Arabia Saudita riduce aerei italiani, ma solo per far posto a un torneo di scacchi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/arabia-saudita-riduce-aerei-italiani-ma-solo-per-far-posto-a-un-torneo-di-scacchi</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T19:02:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Arabia Saudita riduce aerei italiani, ma solo per far posto a un torneo di scacchi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Lega, Salvini annuncia nuovo leader: sarà eletto solo in caso di eclissi totale -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lega-salvini-annuncia-nuovo-leader-sara-eletto-solo-in-caso-di-eclissi-totale</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T18:35:18.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Lega, Salvini annuncia nuovo leader: sarà eletto solo in caso di eclissi totale]]></news:title>
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  <!-- M5S convoca tavolo su Kiev, ma solo se il caffè è decotto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/m5s-convoca-tavolo-su-kiev-ma-solo-se-il-caffe-e-decotto</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T18:33:11.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[M5S convoca tavolo su Kiev, ma solo se il caffè è decotto]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Mattarella annuncia: la scuola ora offre corsi di integrazione col cibo etnico -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mattarella-annuncia-la-scuola-ora-offre-corsi-di-integrazione-col-cibo-etnico</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-21T17:43:28.728Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T17:06:45.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Mattarella annuncia: la scuola ora offre corsi di integrazione col cibo etnico]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Roma esclude Cristante e Malen dalla nazionale: ma solo dopo aver consultato l&apos;oracolo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/roma-esclude-cristante-e-malen-dalla-nazionale-ma-solo-dopo-aver-consultato-loracolo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-21T12:27:33.113Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T11:40:53.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Roma esclude Cristante e Malen dalla nazionale: ma solo dopo aver consultato l&apos;oracolo]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Influencer propone tutorial Vesuvio, ma confonde eruzione con filtro Instagram -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/influencer-propone-tutorial-vesuvio-ma-confonde-eruzione-con-filtro-instagram</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-21T12:27:37.413Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T11:34:05.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Influencer propone tutorial Vesuvio, ma confonde eruzione con filtro Instagram]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Conferenza di Mancini alle 14, ma il vero tema è il gattino in panchina -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/conferenza-di-mancini-alle-14-ma-il-vero-tema-e-il-gattino-in-panchina</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-21T11:50:55.836Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T11:22:51.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Conferenza di Mancini alle 14, ma il vero tema è il gattino in panchina]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Ed Davey rassicura: il suo partito non è in coma, ma preferisce la danza contemporanea -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ed-davey-rassicura-il-suo-partito-non-e-in-coma-ma-preferisce-la-danza-contemporanea</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-21T10:52:44.574Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T10:10:42.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Ed Davey rassicura: il suo partito non è in coma, ma preferisce la danza contemporanea]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Bonus colonnine: il governo lancia l&apos;operazione &apos;Ricarica e Scappa&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bonus-colonnine-il-governo-lancia-loperazione-ricarica-e-scappa</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-21T08:44:45.496Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T08:12:40.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bonus colonnine: il governo lancia l&apos;operazione &apos;Ricarica e Scappa&apos;]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Comitati di Bagnoli bloccano opere, ma i camion sono in pausa caffè! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/comitati-di-bagnoli-bloccano-opere-ma-i-camion-sono-in-pausa-caffe</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-21T07:46:12.784Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T07:16:37.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Comitati di Bagnoli bloccano opere, ma i camion sono in pausa caffè!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- L&apos;Inter va in vacanza ma si porta il compito a casa: l&apos;ironia del destino -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/linter-va-in-vacanza-ma-si-porta-il-compito-a-casa-lironia-del-destino</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T07:08:05.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[L&apos;Inter va in vacanza ma si porta il compito a casa: l&apos;ironia del destino]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Euro in calo, ma i ristoranti offrono scontrini in origami -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/euro-in-calo-ma-i-ristoranti-offrono-scontrini-in-origami</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-21T06:49:00.934Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T06:21:19.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Euro in calo, ma i ristoranti offrono scontrini in origami]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Legge elettorale in discussione: ma serve il permesso di un pinguino -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/legge-elettorale-in-discussione-ma-serve-il-permesso-di-un-pinguino</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-21T06:49:04.608Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T06:07:54.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Legge elettorale in discussione: ma serve il permesso di un pinguino]]></news:title>
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  <!-- AfD conquista Meclemburgo-Pomerania: ora cercano un portavoce per il gatto del vicino -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/afd-conquista-meclemburgo-pomerania-ora-cercano-un-portavoce-per-il-gatto-del-vicino</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T05:30:16.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[AfD conquista Meclemburgo-Pomerania: ora cercano un portavoce per il gatto del vicino]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Mini pacchi: tassa Ue approvata, ma solo se il postino porta biscotti in omaggio -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mini-pacchi-tassa-ue-approvata-ma-solo-se-il-postino-porta-biscotti-in-omaggio</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-21T05:45:15.244Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T05:26:29.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Mini pacchi: tassa Ue approvata, ma solo se il postino porta biscotti in omaggio]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Compagnia aerea regala tatuaggio di un passeggero declassato in cambio di feedback -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/compagnia-aerea-regala-tatuaggio-di-un-passeggero-declassato-in-cambio-di-feedback</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-21T04:44:13.360Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-21T00:45:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Trump decide di tatuarsi il nome di Pezeshkian sul braccio in caso di escalation -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-decide-di-tatuarsi-il-nome-di-pezeshkian-sul-braccio-in-caso-di-escalation</loc>
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  <!-- I tedeschi vogliono nuovi leader, ma preferiscono i gatti per le elezioni -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/i-tedeschi-vogliono-nuovi-leader-ma-preferiscono-i-gatti-per-le-elezioni</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-21T01:04:41.897Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Merz si fa tatuare il suo nome sul braccio di un clown per dimostrare la sua resilienza -->
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  <!-- Skoda Peaq avanza, ma solo se il motore ascolta Mozart -->
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  <!-- Vannacci su TikTok: &quot;Il voto utile è per noi, ma solo se balliamo!&quot; -->
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  <!-- Elezioni in Germania: AfD in crescita, ma il vero vincitore è il Wi-Fi pubblico -->
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  <!-- Salvini annuncia congresso a Pontida, ma solo se arriva il caffè decaffeinato -->
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  <!-- Schlein chiede chiarezza a Meloni: ma il caffè è obbligatorio per votare? -->
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  <!-- Zidane introduce la nuova unità di misura: il &apos;Glamour&apos; per i ritardi sportivi -->
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  <!-- Fratello di Lady D: stampa perseguita Harry e Meghan, ma solo durante i pic-nic reali -->
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  <!-- Situazione Frosinone-Como,: primi dettagli emergenti -->
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  <!-- Kessie torna all&apos;Atalanta: il calciatore ora sogna di diventare il nuovo Spalletti -->
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  <!-- Salvini annuncia Congresso straordinario, ma solo se il gelato è alla vaniglia -->
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  <!-- Trump Jr. sposa l&apos;oligarca russo: ma il regalo di nozze è un pancake gigante -->
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  <!-- Meloni annuncia norme sui limiti: in classe stranieri, ma solo se portano dolci tipici -->
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  <!-- Google sperimenta l&apos;IA e gli editori temono il bottone &apos;Dive Deeper&apos; per i lettori superficiali -->
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  <!-- Escursionista conferma novità: esperti valuteranno -->
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  <!-- Lussemburgo sospende il traffico aereo per allerta droni: i piloti si esercitano a volare con le mani -->
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  <!-- Roma-Inter, IA prevede goleada: a patto che piova spaghetti -->
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  <!-- Giorgetti promette una manovra audace, ma il ceto medio spera in un miracolo fiscale -->
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  <!-- Cagnotto svela il trampolino segreto: Minguzzi in pausa caffè prima del tuffo -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/milan-in-crisi-tecnico-sotto-pressione-ma-il-vero-problema-e-lorologio-rotto</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/smart-working-addio-lazienda-scopre-che-la-nonna-ha-sempre-ragione</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/palermo-costruisce-stadio-per-leuro-32-ma-sara-una-piscina-olimpionica</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/federmoto-lancia-borse-di-studio-il-segreto-allenamenti-in-stile-flamenco</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/hamilton-smentisce-le-voci-chiedo-solo-che-la-ferrari-faccia-il-caffe-perfetto</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/napoli-svela-i-tesori-armonici-i-flauti-dei-conventi-ora-suonano-in-8d</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/dallue-748-milioni-allitalia-la-nuova-riunione-dellimpero-romano-su-zoom</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/milano-vola-in-borsa-ma-solo-se-il-sole-splende-su-moncler</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-minaccia-la-ue-se-ci-associate-al-canada-ci-nascondiamo-in-ovuli</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/openai-annuncia-piani-per-il-futuro-spostiamo-la-sardegna-per-evitare-anomalie-ia</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lula-allonu-per-parlare-di-trump-ma-il-vero-tema-e-come-piegare-un-pancake</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/schlein-e-meloni-si-uniscono-su-tiktok-il-clima-fa-tendenza</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/byd-italia-annuncia-stabilimento-in-europa-ma-solo-quando-il-caffe-e-in-pausa</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bulega-da-erede-di-vale-rossi-a-maestro-delle-minimoto-di-fallimenti</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/oliver-stone-compie-80-anni-a-roma-lamerica-e-in-guerra-ma-il-film-e-in-bianco-e-nero</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/leclerc-lancia-unasta-di-cimeli-spera-che-il-gp-di-imola-non-sia-un-altro-fallimento</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/paolo-ruffini-coinvolto-in-partita-di-volley-lazzurro-e-il-nuovo-arbitro-comico</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/paolo-ruffini-coinvolto-nelle-operazioni-di-volo-dellaeroporto-di-catania-dopo-la-riapertura</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-manchester-city-lancia-la-nuova-rubrica-mission-impossible-come-non-vincere-la-premier</loc>
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  <!-- Schlein annuncia primarie: &apos;Votiamo prima e poi pensiamo a come scappare dalla realtà&apos; -->
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  <!-- Studio rivela: 87% dei calciatori sente la pressione di segnare durante le partite -->
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  <!-- Schlein annuncia: &apos;Siamo pronti per il voto, ma solo dopo una partita a scacchi con gli elettori&apos; -->
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  <!-- Marine Le Pen annuncia battaglia: le forze del declino chiedono il certificato di residenza -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/eindhoven-shakhtar-conferma-novita-esperti-valuteranno</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/von-der-leyen-chiede-uneuropa-unita-nello-spazio-per-evitare-il-traffico-interstellare</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/vance-valuta-dividendo-trump-ma-il-pagamento-avverra-in-francobolli-per-lestate</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/camera-approva-cinema-ma-la-vera-star-e-il-popcorn-interdimensionale</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/marina-abramovic-svela-il-segreto-del-red-carpet-un-corso-intensivo-di-yoga-per-fiori</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/madrid-lancia-il-madring-il-circuito-ruota-ma-solo-grazie-a-un-motore-di-skateboard</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/liverpool-festeggia-la-vittoria-grazie-a-un-assist-che-fa-volare-araujo-oltre-il-campo</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/wesley-torna-in-nazionale-ancelotti-lancia-il-reality-infortunati-ma-felici</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-a-dallas-promette-5mila-dollari-ma-solo-se-i-pinguini-volano-in-inverno</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lower-manhattan-si-risveglia-sandwich-a-tre-dollari-ma-solo-per-i-locali</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ai-sta-dominando-ma-solo-se-hai-il-caricabatterie-giusto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-10T01:11:09.303Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/starlink-corre-sui-treni-italo-la-nuova-frontiera-della-velocita-e-delle-chiacchiere</loc>
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  <url>
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    <lastmod>2026-09-10T01:11:12.369Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/napoli-perde-al-maradona-larsenal-colpito-da-un-super-gol-di-burocrazia</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cristiano-ronaldo-rivela-il-segreto-del-suo-stacco-allenamenti-con-trampoline-e-moschettieri</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/raphinha-segna-un-gol-pazzesco-ma-chi-paga-il-biglietto-e-il-suo-cagnolino</loc>
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  <!-- Un robot al Forum Palombelli: Meloni si consulta con l&apos;astrologo per i rischi dell&apos;IA -->
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  <!-- Lang sospeso, ma solo dopo aver consultato la palla di vetro di Manna -->
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  <!-- Atalanta trionfa 4-3, ma i tifosi chiedono un gol in più per il dessert -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/atalanta-trionfa-4-3-ma-i-tifosi-chiedono-un-gol-in-piu-per-il-dessert</loc>
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  <!-- Inter studia l&apos;arte di segnare... con un libro di cucina -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-09T17:30:46.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Napoli sfida Arsenal: ma il vero match è tra chi legge il bollettino meteo -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-09T17:28:12.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Merz avverte: la remigrazione Afd è una danza etnica, mentre Trump applaude il passo di cha cha -->
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  <!-- Karlsson lascia Bologna per il Servette: in realtà si era allenato come un campione di karaoke -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/karlsson-lascia-bologna-per-il-servette-in-realta-si-era-allenato-come-un-campione-di-karaoke</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/allegri-conquista-de-bruyne-segreto-lezione-di-tango-tra-i-gelati-napoletani</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gas-sopra-78-euro-scoperto-risale-da-un-geyser-del-wyoming</loc>
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  <!-- Malagò rilassa tensioni: la decisione finale è su quale gelato scegliere -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/malago-rilassa-tensioni-la-decisione-finale-e-su-quale-gelato-scegliere</loc>
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  <url>
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  <!-- Giulia trionfa alla ruota: ma il premio lo incassa solo in format video! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/giulia-trionfa-alla-ruota-ma-il-premio-lo-incassa-solo-in-format-video</loc>
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  <!-- Lite furibonda in campo: Lautaro-Huijsen si contendono un gelato al centro!  -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lite-furibonda-in-campo-lautaro-huijsen-si-contendono-un-gelato-al-centro</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fantacampionato-il-vincitore-e-francesco-manfredi-ma-il-trofeo-e-una-pizza-margherita</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/di-battista-ringrazia-i-medici-cubani-mentre-discute-il-futuro-della-pizza-napoletana</loc>
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  <!-- Trump in convention a Dallas: elettori recuperati, ma solo se indossano giacca a vento -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-in-convention-a-dallas-elettori-recuperati-ma-solo-se-indossano-giacca-a-vento</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/studio-rivela-il-92-dei-piloti-di-formula-1-sogna-di-partire-dallultima-fila</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ricercatori-cinesi-studiano-come-le-uova-possano-salvare-i-veicoli-spaziali</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-7-ottobre-fauda-trova-lequilibrio-ma-solo-se-piove-a-scatola</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/affitti-il-canone-concordato-che-supera-quello-libero-e-nessuno-si-e-accorto-che-e-una-sitcom</loc>
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  <!-- Ritardi aerei aumentano dopo glitch ai controllori di volo: i passeggeri fanno yoga in aeroporto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ritardi-aerei-aumentano-dopo-glitch-ai-controllori-di-volo-i-passeggeri-fanno-yoga-in-aeroporto</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Ritardi aerei aumentano dopo glitch ai controllori di volo: i passeggeri fanno yoga in aeroporto]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Voli cancellati nel Regno Unito: le nuvole sono in sciopero per ferie -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/voli-cancellati-nel-regno-unito-le-nuvole-sono-in-sciopero-per-ferie</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-09T04:34:19.501Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-09T02:56:30.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Voli cancellati nel Regno Unito: le nuvole sono in sciopero per ferie]]></news:title>
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  <!-- La Svezia al voto: il centrosinistra propone un piano per il benessere degli gnomi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-svezia-al-voto-il-centrosinistra-propone-un-piano-per-il-benessere-degli-gnomi</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-09T02:05:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[La Svezia al voto: il centrosinistra propone un piano per il benessere degli gnomi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Dazi al 50%: gli alcolici canadesi fuggono, ma le moto vanno in pensione -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/dazi-al-50-gli-alcolici-canadesi-fuggono-ma-le-moto-vanno-in-pensione</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-09T03:06:38.967Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-09T01:54:49.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Dazi al 50%: gli alcolici canadesi fuggono, ma le moto vanno in pensione]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Unicredit ottiene sconto capitale; clienti devono pagare in danese -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/unicredit-ottiene-sconto-capitale-clienti-devono-pagare-in-danese</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-08T10:59:00.098Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-08T10:02:24.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Unicredit ottiene sconto capitale; clienti devono pagare in danese]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Milan in campo: Amorim comunica, ma solo in dialetto extraterrestre -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/milan-in-campo-amorim-comunica-ma-solo-in-dialetto-extraterrestre</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-08T08:18:41.630Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-08T07:38:25.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Milan in campo: Amorim comunica, ma solo in dialetto extraterrestre]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Giorgio Armani investe in Borsa, ma gli abiti ora vengono consegnati dai piccioni -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/giorgio-armani-investe-in-borsa-ma-gli-abiti-ora-vengono-consegnati-dai-piccioni</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-08T06:47:36.798Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-08T06:13:36.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Giorgio Armani investe in Borsa, ma gli abiti ora vengono consegnati dai piccioni]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Materazzi: &apos;Cambi giusti, ma il panda in panchina ha la maglia di Mou&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/materazzi-cambi-giusti-ma-il-panda-in-panchina-ha-la-maglia-di-mou</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-08T06:47:40.522Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-08T06:10:04.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Materazzi: &apos;Cambi giusti, ma il panda in panchina ha la maglia di Mou&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Trentenni in cerca di cinema: il nuovo film è un documentario sulle camicie a righe -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trentenni-in-cerca-di-cinema-il-nuovo-film-e-un-documentario-sulle-camicie-a-righe</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-08T04:48:16.495Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-08T03:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Trentenni in cerca di cinema: il nuovo film è un documentario sulle camicie a righe]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Vacanze a rate: il nuovo modo di andare in ferie a debito -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/vacanze-a-rate-il-nuovo-modo-di-andare-in-ferie-a-debito</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-08T04:48:19.783Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-08T03:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Vacanze a rate: il nuovo modo di andare in ferie a debito]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Ex Ilva, offerte finali: gli impianti ora producono solo palle di carta -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ex-ilva-offerte-finali-gli-impianti-ora-producono-solo-palle-di-carta</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-08T03:50:46.103Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-08T01:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Ex Ilva, offerte finali: gli impianti ora producono solo palle di carta]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Il tennis perde il rovescio a una mano: ora si gioca con il cappello -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-tennis-perde-il-rovescio-a-una-mano-ora-si-gioca-con-il-cappello</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-07T13:21:00.645Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-07T12:53:49.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il tennis perde il rovescio a una mano: ora si gioca con il cappello]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Tir in piazza a Bruxelles: gli industriali chiedono più acciaio e meno selfie -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tir-in-piazza-a-bruxelles-gli-industriali-chiedono-piu-acciaio-e-meno-selfie</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-07T13:21:04.546Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-07T12:50:06.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Tir in piazza a Bruxelles: gli industriali chiedono più acciaio e meno selfie]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Governo stanzia 300 milioni per auto, ma solo se cantano l&apos;inno nazionale -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-stanzia-300-milioni-per-auto-ma-solo-se-cantano-linno-nazionale</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-07T10:59:30.691Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-07T10:40:39.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Governo stanzia 300 milioni per auto, ma solo se cantano l&apos;inno nazionale]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Sozza e Colombo: Le pagelle arbitrarie, dove la coerenza è un fischio lontano! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sozza-e-colombo-le-pagelle-arbitrarie-dove-la-coerenza-e-un-fischio-lontano</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-07T10:59:35.092Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-07T10:39:26.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sozza e Colombo: Le pagelle arbitrarie, dove la coerenza è un fischio lontano!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Incredibile ma vero: Mosca applaude AfD in Sassonia, ma la vera festa è un pic-nic di burocrazia -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/incredibile-ma-vero-mosca-applaude-afd-in-sassonia-ma-la-vera-festa-e-un-pic-nic-di-burocrazia</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-07T10:28:41.900Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-07T10:06:17.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Incredibile ma vero: Mosca applaude AfD in Sassonia, ma la vera festa è un pic-nic di burocrazia]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Ravello all&apos;erta: matrimonio Blasi-Muller, ma gli invitati sono extraterrestri? -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ravello-allerta-matrimonio-blasi-muller-ma-gli-invitati-sono-extraterrestri</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-07T10:28:46.474Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-07T10:03:42.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Ravello all&apos;erta: matrimonio Blasi-Muller, ma gli invitati sono extraterrestri?]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Mosca celebra la vittoria dell&apos;Afd: il governo tedesco ora è ufficialmente in ferie -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mosca-celebra-la-vittoria-dellafd-il-governo-tedesco-ora-e-ufficialmente-in-ferie</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-07T08:57:44.148Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-07T08:28:41.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Mosca celebra la vittoria dell&apos;Afd: il governo tedesco ora è ufficialmente in ferie]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Giorgetti prevede Pil all&apos;1%, ma il segreto è un campionato di sculture di spaghetti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/giorgetti-prevede-pil-all1-ma-il-segreto-e-un-campionato-di-sculture-di-spaghetti</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-06T16:58:45.415Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-06T16:33:10.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Giorgetti prevede Pil all&apos;1%, ma il segreto è un campionato di sculture di spaghetti]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Sassonia-Anhalt alle urne: affluenza al 54%, ma si vota solo in sandali -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sassonia-anhalt-alle-urne-affluenza-al-54-ma-si-vota-solo-in-sandali</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-06T15:13:00.638Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-06T14:05:32.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sassonia-Anhalt alle urne: affluenza al 54%, ma si vota solo in sandali]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- I trader del petrolio festeggiano a Hormuz... e anche le loro tasse svizzere -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/i-trader-del-petrolio-festeggiano-a-hormuz-e-anche-le-loro-tasse-svizzere</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-06T15:13:04.386Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-06T14:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Leggenda Italvolley lancia app di dating nell&apos;aldilà: swipe da brivido per il triplete -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/leggenda-italvolley-lancia-app-di-dating-nellaldila-swipe-da-brivido-per-il-triplete</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-06T10:52:20.334Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-06T10:21:06.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Leggenda Italvolley lancia app di dating nell&apos;aldilà: swipe da brivido per il triplete]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Fratelli Maserati al cinema: una produzione con meno motori e più emozioni! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fratelli-maserati-al-cinema-una-produzione-con-meno-motori-e-piu-emozioni</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cremonese-trionfa-a-parma-giampaolo-esonerato-per-errore-di-sistema</loc>
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  <!-- US Open, Cobolli-Comesana: Flavio vince ma si dimentica la racchetta a casa -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/us-open-cobolli-comesana-flavio-vince-ma-si-dimentica-la-racchetta-a-casa</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-01T21:20:22.255Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-01T20:28:05.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Tamberi conquista l&apos;oro, ma il vero trionfo è nella scelta del buffet -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tamberi-conquista-loro-ma-il-vero-trionfo-e-nella-scelta-del-buffet</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-01T20:05:41.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Tamberi conquista l&apos;oro, ma il vero trionfo è nella scelta del buffet]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Mercato auto in Italia: crescita a sorpresa, ma le chiavi sono in origami -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mercato-auto-in-italia-crescita-a-sorpresa-ma-le-chiavi-sono-in-origami</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-01T17:30:22.792Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-01T17:13:48.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Instagram lancia la guerra ai profili IA: il trucco? Origami per riconoscerli! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/instagram-lancia-la-guerra-ai-profili-ia-il-trucco-origami-per-riconoscerli</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-01T17:02:07.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Instagram lancia la guerra ai profili IA: il trucco? Origami per riconoscerli!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Stellantis presenta il nuovo metro di misura: il &apos;FCA&apos;, pari a 2,5 auto vendute per ogni promessa di innovazione -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/stellantis-presenta-il-nuovo-metro-di-misura-il-fca-pari-a-25-auto-vendute-per-ogni-promessa-di-inno</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Stellantis presenta il nuovo metro di misura: il &apos;FCA&apos;, pari a 2,5 auto vendute per ogni promessa di innovazione]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Mario Calabresi si candida a sindaco: ma con un cane come assessore all&apos;urbanistica -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mario-calabresi-si-candida-a-sindaco-ma-con-un-cane-come-assessore-allurbanistica</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-01T11:26:33.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Mario Calabresi si candida a sindaco: ma con un cane come assessore all&apos;urbanistica]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Capello annuncia vittoria, ma la Roma scivola in fondo alla classifica di ping pong -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/capello-annuncia-vittoria-ma-la-roma-scivola-in-fondo-alla-classifica-di-ping-pong</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-01T06:25:50.760Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-01T05:43:04.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Capello annuncia vittoria, ma la Roma scivola in fondo alla classifica di ping pong]]></news:title>
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  <!-- La nonna e il regista: quando il cinema diventa una saga di famiglia -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-nonna-e-il-regista-quando-il-cinema-diventa-una-saga-di-famiglia</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-01T05:00:12.459Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-01T03:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[La nonna e il regista: quando il cinema diventa una saga di famiglia]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Germania, AfD in Sassonia-Anhalt: quando la destra si veste da pupa -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/germania-afd-in-sassonia-anhalt-quando-la-destra-si-veste-da-pupa</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-01T04:24:43.767Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-09-01T02:05:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Germania, AfD in Sassonia-Anhalt: quando la destra si veste da pupa]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Opel Corsa GSe: la sportiva elettrica che consuma più di un caffè doppio in un bar affollato -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/opel-corsa-gse-la-sportiva-elettrica-che-consuma-piu-di-un-caffe-doppio-in-un-bar-affollato</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-01T00:35:34.430Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-08-31T23:01:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Opel Corsa GSe: la sportiva elettrica che consuma più di un caffè doppio in un bar affollato]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Volkswagen in trincea: azionisti, sindacati e una pizza margherita in conflitto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/volkswagen-in-trincea-azionisti-sindacati-e-una-pizza-margherita-in-conflitto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-01T01:18:11.430Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-08-31T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Volkswagen in trincea: azionisti, sindacati e una pizza margherita in conflitto]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Camionisti in protesta: sconti sulle tasse, ma solo per chi guida un furgone rosa -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/camionisti-in-protesta-sconti-sulle-tasse-ma-solo-per-chi-guida-un-furgone-rosa</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-09-01T01:18:15.982Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-08-31T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Camionisti in protesta: sconti sulle tasse, ma solo per chi guida un furgone rosa]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Badenoch ristruttura il gabinetto ombra: ma il nuovo ministro è un camaleonte -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/badenoch-ristruttura-il-gabinetto-ombra-ma-il-nuovo-ministro-e-un-camaleonte</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-08-31T10:57:44.701Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-08-31T10:10:08.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Badenoch ristruttura il gabinetto ombra: ma il nuovo ministro è un camaleonte]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Borsa a Milano: pessimismo galoppante, ma i caffè si ordinano in euro -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/borsa-a-milano-pessimismo-galoppante-ma-i-caffe-si-ordinano-in-euro</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-08-31T08:06:59.607Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-08-31T07:07:36.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Borsa a Milano: pessimismo galoppante, ma i caffè si ordinano in euro]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Studenti fuori sede invocano l&apos;aiuto dei santi per trovare casa e detrarre l&apos;affitto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/studenti-fuori-sede-invocano-laiuto-dei-santi-per-trovare-casa-e-detrarre-laffitto</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-08-31T03:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Studenti fuori sede invocano l&apos;aiuto dei santi per trovare casa e detrarre l&apos;affitto]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Fabregas vince contro Allegri: il segreto è chiudersi in una bolla di sapone -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fabregas-vince-contro-allegri-il-segreto-e-chiudersi-in-una-bolla-di-sapone</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-08-31T04:46:04.418Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-08-31T02:12:04.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Fabregas vince contro Allegri: il segreto è chiudersi in una bolla di sapone]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Tugendhat pronto a sostituire Patel: ma solo se il caffè è perfetto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tugendhat-pronto-a-sostituire-patel-ma-solo-se-il-caffe-e-perfetto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-08-31T06:05:59.723Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-08-31T02:03:38.000Z</news:publication_date>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Consob si risveglia dal letargo: ora danzano i numeri -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/consob-si-risveglia-dal-letargo-ora-danzano-i-numeri</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-08-31T03:29:18.733Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-08-30T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Consob si risveglia dal letargo: ora danzano i numeri]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Steve Jobs rivoluziona la musica: l’iPod? Una macchina per viaggi nel tempo, 25 anni fa! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/steve-jobs-rivoluziona-la-musica-lipod-una-macchina-per-viaggi-nel-tempo-25-anni-fa</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-08-31T03:29:22.724Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-08-30T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Steve Jobs rivoluziona la musica: l’iPod? Una macchina per viaggi nel tempo, 25 anni fa!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Mons. Gallagher propone: dialogo con Mosca, ma solo se i cagnolini lo approvano -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mons-gallagher-propone-dialogo-con-mosca-ma-solo-se-i-cagnolini-lo-approvano</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-08-30T13:27:59.378Z</lastmod>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Mons. Gallagher propone: dialogo con Mosca, ma solo se i cagnolini lo approvano]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Kane prolungato al Bayern, ma solo se il gatto di Guardiola approva -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/kane-prolungato-al-bayern-ma-solo-se-il-gatto-di-guardiola-approva</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-08-30T13:28:02.292Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Di Battista in ospedale: i medici chiedono una diagnosi, lui propone un talk show -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/di-battista-in-ospedale-i-medici-chiedono-una-diagnosi-lui-propone-un-talk-show</loc>
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  <!-- Vacanze da record: italiani spendono 20 miliardi, ma solo per il cibo che non riescono a mangiare -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/vacanze-da-record-italiani-spendono-20-miliardi-ma-solo-per-il-cibo-che-non-riescono-a-mangiare</loc>
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  <!-- Meta cambia le regole per minorenni: ma ora devono risolvere un quiz di origami! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meta-cambia-le-regole-per-minorenni-ma-ora-devono-risolvere-un-quiz-di-origami</loc>
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  <!-- Ex agente CIA svela: rapporti tra servizi utili, ma manca la connessione Wi-Fi! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lombardia-lancia-corsi-di-gestione-dei-conti-per-i-turisti-lazio-affida-le-finanze-a-un-mago</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/borse-in-altalena-parigi-chiude-in-negativo-mentre-il-ministro-consulta-loroscopo</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ferrari-in-pole-ma-unape-ronzante-fa-scattare-il-caos-a-monza</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/unicredit-e-commerzbank-incontro-a-settembre-ma-solo-se-la-luna-e-allangolo-giusto</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-trasforma-revoca-visti-in-videogioco-livello-10-sblocca-residenza-permanente</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/dybala-spera-in-malen-ma-solo-se-il-var-approva-la-ricetta-della-felicita</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gli-usa-lanciano-sanzioni-contro-liran-ma-offrono-anche-corsi-di-cucina-mediorientale</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/borsa-milano-in-calo-i-banchieri-ballano-ma-i-risparmiatori-restano-fermi</loc>
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  <!-- Bessent: &apos;D-Day economico per l&apos;Iran, le banche chiedono di non essere filmate mentre chiudono&apos; -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bessent-d-day-economico-per-liran-le-banche-chiedono-di-non-essere-filmate-mentre-chiudono</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ciclisti-professionisti-abbandonano-la-competizione-per-diventare-influencer-su-instagram</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/giorgetti-scandalizzato-da-sconto-gasolio-prorogato-chiede-decreto-demergenza-per-caffe-a-1-euro</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/linternazionale-reazionaria-il-nuovo-bestseller-che-unisce-trump-e-il-vangelo-secondo-matteo</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-08-23T17:15:47.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[L&apos;Internazionale Reazionaria: il nuovo bestseller che unisce Trump e il Vangelo secondo Matteo]]></news:title>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/spider-man-trionfa-al-box-office-ma-il-suo-costume-richiede-12-lavaggi-per-ogni-proiezione</loc>
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  <!-- Venezia e Lecce: il derby dei santi, ma chi sarà il miracolo? -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/venezia-e-lecce-il-derby-dei-santi-ma-chi-sara-il-miracolo</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-08-23T15:47:25.000Z</news:publication_date>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/vannacci-lancia-giannetta-a-reggio-il-trucco-e-un-algoritmo-di-origami</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/musetti-cede-a-tiafoe-ma-il-vero-vincitore-e-il-gelato-al-pomodoro</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/dazi-usa-canada-il-segreto-per-risolvere-le-tensioni-commerciali-e-il-karaoke</loc>
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  <!-- Cincinnati: Musetti sconfitto, ma il suo rovescio è già in trattativa per un contratto Netflix -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cincinnati-musetti-sconfitto-ma-il-suo-rovescio-e-gia-in-trattativa-per-un-contratto-netflix</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gandhi-vende-manoscritti-allasta-17-milioni-di-dollari-per-la-pace-e-un-po-di-ironia</loc>
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  <!-- Meghan Markle in trattativa per &apos;The Gentlemen&apos;: il tutto avviene durante una riunione sul tè -->
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  <!-- Maltempo in transito: evacuati 250 campeggiatori, ora cercano Wi-Fi per il prossimo rifugio -->
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  <!-- Lovaglio in trincea: il piano per resistere all&apos;OPAS, ma solo se piove di lunedì -->
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  <!-- Mps offre 34 miliardi, ma solo se il caffè è corretto -->
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  <!-- Misiani accusa la premier di voler fare il banchiere: il nuovo lavoro per il PD è la finanza o il karaoke? -->
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  <!-- Le capre di Capri fanno polemica: il vero nemico è il gelato alla lavanda -->
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  <!-- Gen Z fa shopping online: purché il filtro Instagram approvi le t-shirt -->
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  <!-- Giappone: esportazioni a livelli record, ma chi ha esportato il buon senso? -->
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  <!-- Gas: Italia al 80%, ma per riscaldare l&apos;inverno ci servirebbe un abbonamento Netflix -->
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  <!-- Kimi si allena in Germania, ma solo se la giacca di pelle approva -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/kimi-si-allena-in-germania-ma-solo-se-la-giacca-di-pelle-approva</loc>
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  <!-- Ivanisevic chiede che Djokovic urli solo in silenzio per tutelare la salute mentale -->
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  <!-- Donald Trump presenta il nuovo &apos;Zapgate&apos;: il potere della donna invisibile -->
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  <!-- Il caro benzina spinge gli americani verso le ibride, ma il futuro è già in coda -->
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  <!-- Evitare il diabete e il fumo: la ricetta segreta per vivere 13 anni in più con un cane parlante -->
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  <!-- Decaro risponde a un 13enne: &apos;Il mostro non si chiude, altrimenti diventiamo angeli&apos; e il mondo si ferma -->
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  <!-- Viminale risponde alla Germania: nessun migrante in arrivo, ma portiamo il gelato! 🍦 -->
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  <!-- Governo scopre che mascherine Covid sono un nuovo tipo di moneta fungibile -->
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  <!-- Palazzo Chigi invia nota a Moncloa, previa conferenza tra piccioni e canguri -->
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  <!-- Cessione Spin Time: Proprietari dicono no, ma Margherita intanto stava cucinando -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cessione-spin-time-proprietari-dicono-no-ma-margherita-intanto-stava-cucinando</loc>
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  <!-- Ministero dello Sport confonde Alcaraz con un calciatore e gli regala un pallone da calcio -->
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  <!-- Gli Usa trattano su Hormuz, ma solo se l&apos;Oman offre tè durante la trattativa -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gli-usa-trattano-su-hormuz-ma-solo-se-loman-offre-te-durante-la-trattativa</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/franceschini-annuncia-primarie-ma-solo-in-caso-di-pioggia-di-gelato-al-parlamento</loc>
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  <!-- Giappone sostiene yen, ma solo dopo un torneo di karaoke nazionale -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/giappone-sostiene-yen-ma-solo-dopo-un-torneo-di-karaoke-nazionale</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-31T01:56:10.312Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-30T23:11:45.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Giappone sostiene yen, ma solo dopo un torneo di karaoke nazionale]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Mancini nuovo ct, ma il primo allenamento è con gli ologrammi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mancini-nuovo-ct-ma-il-primo-allenamento-e-con-gli-ologrammi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-28T23:28:54.383Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-28T22:09:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Mancini nuovo ct, ma il primo allenamento è con gli ologrammi]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Mancini guida la Nazionale, ma il piano strategico passa tramite il caffè dell&apos;ufficio -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mancini-guida-la-nazionale-ma-il-piano-strategico-passa-tramite-il-caffe-dellufficio</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-28T23:28:58.600Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-28T21:37:38.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Mancini guida la Nazionale, ma il piano strategico passa tramite il caffè dell&apos;ufficio]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Nvidia lancia il primo data center di lusso: solo per miliardari in bunker d&apos;oro -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/nvidia-lancia-il-primo-data-center-di-lusso-solo-per-miliardari-in-bunker-doro</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-28T00:07:34.501Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-27T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Nvidia lancia il primo data center di lusso: solo per miliardari in bunker d&apos;oro]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Farage denuncia Polanski: la polizia indaga su un T-shirt e una ghigliottina -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/farage-denuncia-polanski-la-polizia-indaga-su-un-t-shirt-e-una-ghigliottina</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-27T23:26:23.162Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-27T21:01:19.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Farage denuncia Polanski: la polizia indaga su un T-shirt e una ghigliottina]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, politics, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Trump annuncia: &apos;Abbiamo più munizioni di un videogioco degli anni &apos;90&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-annuncia-abbiamo-piu-munizioni-di-un-videogioco-degli-anni-90</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-27T00:34:02.911Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-26T22:16:38.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Trump annuncia: &apos;Abbiamo più munizioni di un videogioco degli anni &apos;90&apos;]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Pirlo amareggiato: il suo nuovo sogno? Insegnare origami per superare la politica -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/pirlo-amareggiato-il-suo-nuovo-sogno-insegnare-origami-per-superare-la-politica</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-26T23:21:24.356Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-26T22:09:16.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Pirlo amareggiato: il suo nuovo sogno? Insegnare origami per superare la politica]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Tycoon lancia cappellino &apos;Trump 2028&apos; mentre salva Washington: un gesto da eroe o da cartoon? -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tycoon-lancia-cappellino-trump-2028-mentre-salva-washington-un-gesto-da-eroe-o-da-cartoon</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-26T23:21:28.063Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-26T22:05:09.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Tycoon lancia cappellino &apos;Trump 2028&apos; mentre salva Washington: un gesto da eroe o da cartoon?]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Il Milan domina il campo, ma il pallone è in vacanza alle Maldive -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-milan-domina-il-campo-ma-il-pallone-e-in-vacanza-alle-maldive</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-26T12:17:10.695Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-26T11:54:14.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il Milan domina il campo, ma il pallone è in vacanza alle Maldive]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Oulai al fantacalcio: la Fiorentina vince, ma il campo è un palcoscenico per giraffe -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/oulai-al-fantacalcio-la-fiorentina-vince-ma-il-campo-e-un-palcoscenico-per-giraffe</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-26T12:17:14.297Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-26T11:52:19.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Oulai al fantacalcio: la Fiorentina vince, ma il campo è un palcoscenico per giraffe]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Oristanio al Torino: il nuovo centrocampista pronto a dribblare anche le tasse -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/oristanio-al-torino-il-nuovo-centrocampista-pronto-a-dribblare-anche-le-tasse</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-26T12:17:17.401Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
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    <news:news>
      <news:publication>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-26T11:52:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Oristanio al Torino: il nuovo centrocampista pronto a dribblare anche le tasse]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Il governo annuncia: &apos;Il gasolio è il nostro nuovo amico&apos;, ma solo per chi ha un SUV -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-governo-annuncia-il-gasolio-e-il-nostro-nuovo-amico-ma-solo-per-chi-ha-un-suv</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-26T08:10:25.023Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
    <!-- Google News optimization -->
    <news:news>
      <news:publication>
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-26T06:58:32.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il governo annuncia: &apos;Il gasolio è il nostro nuovo amico&apos;, ma solo per chi ha un SUV]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Italiani in cerca di relax: ma solo se il gelato è in offerta! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/italiani-in-cerca-di-relax-ma-solo-se-il-gelato-e-in-offerta</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-26T04:07:00.292Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
    <!-- Google News optimization -->
    <news:news>
      <news:publication>
        <news:name>SATIRIQ</news:name>
        <news:language>it</news:language>
      </news:publication>
      <news:publication_date>2026-07-26T00:01:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Italiani in cerca di relax: ma solo se il gelato è in offerta!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
    <!-- Image optimization disabled to prevent placeholder URL issues -->
  </url>  
  <!-- Trump ferma escalation contro l&apos;Iran, ma solo se i gatti smettono di cantare -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-ferma-escalation-contro-liran-ma-solo-se-i-gatti-smettono-di-cantare</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-26T00:46:23.136Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
    <!-- Google News optimization -->
    <news:news>
      <news:publication>
        <news:name>SATIRIQ</news:name>
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      </news:publication>
      <news:publication_date>2026-07-25T23:45:16.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Trump ferma escalation contro l&apos;Iran, ma solo se i gatti smettono di cantare]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- La Lega Calcio rinnova, ma solo se il campo è a strisce bianche e verdi! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-lega-calcio-rinnova-ma-solo-se-il-campo-e-a-strisce-bianche-e-verdi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-26T04:07:03.210Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
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    <news:news>
      <news:publication>
        <news:name>SATIRIQ</news:name>
        <news:language>it</news:language>
      </news:publication>
      <news:publication_date>2026-07-25T23:01:06.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[La Lega Calcio rinnova, ma solo se il campo è a strisce bianche e verdi!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Partiti filorussi promettono ordine: solo se le nuvole sono a forma di Putin -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/partiti-filorussi-promettono-ordine-solo-se-le-nuvole-sono-a-forma-di-putin</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-26T04:07:06.387Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
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    <news:news>
      <news:publication>
        <news:name>SATIRIQ</news:name>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-25T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Partiti filorussi promettono ordine: solo se le nuvole sono a forma di Putin]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, politics, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Trump minaccia l&apos;UE: &apos;Pagheranno un prezzo molto alto, come i biglietti per un concerto di Justin Bieber&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-minaccia-lue-pagheranno-un-prezzo-molto-alto-come-i-biglietti-per-un-concerto-di-justin-bieber</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-24T20:54:49.763Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
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    <news:news>
      <news:publication>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-24T19:55:49.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Trump minaccia l&apos;UE: &apos;Pagheranno un prezzo molto alto, come i biglietti per un concerto di Justin Bieber&apos;]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Alpe d&apos;Huez, l&apos;arrivo bis: ma il podio si decide durante un incontro di karaoke -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/alpe-dhuez-larrivo-bis-ma-il-podio-si-decide-durante-un-incontro-di-karaoke</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-24T20:54:53.476Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
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    <news:news>
      <news:publication>
        <news:name>SATIRIQ</news:name>
        <news:language>it</news:language>
      </news:publication>
      <news:publication_date>2026-07-24T19:54:16.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Alpe d&apos;Huez, l&apos;arrivo bis: ma il podio si decide durante un incontro di karaoke]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Difesa UK: Allerta massima, ma solo contro aggressioni da piccioni -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/difesa-uk-allerta-massima-ma-solo-contro-aggressioni-da-piccioni</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-24T00:51:47.844Z</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
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      <news:publication>
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-23T23:04:19.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Difesa UK: Allerta massima, ma solo contro aggressioni da piccioni]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Governo lancia app per sconti carburante: &apos;Trova il tuo tesoretto&apos; con GPS fallimentare -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/governo-lancia-app-per-sconti-carburante-trova-il-tuo-tesoretto-con-gps-fallimentare</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-24T00:16:04.744Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
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      <news:publication>
        <news:name>SATIRIQ</news:name>
        <news:language>it</news:language>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-23T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Governo lancia app per sconti carburante: &apos;Trova il tuo tesoretto&apos; con GPS fallimentare]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Chery ST supera attese, sanzionato perché il CEO stava facendo yoga a Singapore -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/chery-st-supera-attese-sanzionato-perche-il-ceo-stava-facendo-yoga-a-singapore</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-24T00:57:47.430Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-23T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Chery ST supera attese, sanzionato perché il CEO stava facendo yoga a Singapore]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Leao verso il Fenerbahce, ma solo se l’elefante fa yoga in giardino -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/leao-verso-il-fenerbahce-ma-solo-se-lelefante-fa-yoga-in-giardino</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T23:18:02.581Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
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    <news:news>
      <news:publication>
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        <news:language>it</news:language>
      </news:publication>
      <news:publication_date>2026-07-23T22:11:47.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Leao verso il Fenerbahce, ma solo se l’elefante fa yoga in giardino]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
    </news:news>
    
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  </url>  
  <!-- Trump annuncia nuovi dazi, ma solo se la luna è piena e i gatti cantano -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-annuncia-nuovi-dazi-ma-solo-se-la-luna-e-piena-e-i-gatti-cantano</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T23:19:26.946Z</lastmod>
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    <priority>0.2</priority>
    
    <!-- Google News optimization -->
    <news:news>
      <news:publication>
        <news:name>SATIRIQ</news:name>
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      </news:publication>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/da-oggi-scattano-nuovi-dazi-usa-ma-solo-se-il-sole-splende-sulle-banane</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T23:22:00.039Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/instagram-nellantica-pompei-linfluencer-berrettini-posta-prima-delleruzione</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T21:03:56.549Z</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/usa-annunciano-nuovi-dazi-ma-solo-su-chi-non-usa-zoom</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T21:20:01.290Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ddl-concorrenza-il-governo-lancia-la-riforma-ma-solo-con-i-carburanti-eco-friendly</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/decreto-legge-anti-maranza-minorenni-ora-imputabili-ma-solo-se-portano-il-cappello</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T19:45:42.763Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-lancia-operazione-bomber-ma-i-palloni-volano-solo-in-estate</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T21:05:16.245Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/nuove-banconote-euro-callas-canta-leonardo-dipinge-e-leconomia-danza</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T21:20:21.762Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-invita-xi-a-cena-ma-il-menu-e-solo-ai-sushi-robotico-in-arrivo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T19:46:26.068Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/minori-imputabili-da-14-anni-prima-pero-serve-il-timbro-del-pomodoro</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T18:07:32.983Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-responsabilita-per-tutti-ma-solo-dopo-il-picnic-di-governo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T18:07:40.367Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-e-schlein-firmano-un-patto-su-carta-pergamena-discussione-su-tiktok</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T18:07:48.847Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/doekhi-sulla-lazio-scelta-perfetta-ma-solo-dopo-un-pomeriggio-in-giardino</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T16:34:09.944Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/kerr-conquista-il-miglio-ma-solo-dopo-aver-consultato-un-esperto-di-sogni</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T16:34:39.179Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/radio-24-conferma-solidita-ascolti-ma-solo-se-ascoltata-in-cuffia-al-tram</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T16:34:51.900Z</lastmod>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gary-lineker-lancia-appello-ai-milionari-mentre-gioca-a-scacchi-con-un-cactus</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T16:35:01.446Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Camera dei Deputati approva risoluzione: Trump sarà il primo presidente a partecipare a un dibattito in giardino -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/camera-dei-deputati-approva-risoluzione-trump-sara-il-primo-presidente-a-partecipare-a-un-dibattito-</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T15:14:40.050Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/maldini-rivela-che-guardiola-preferisce-scambiare-palloni-invece-di-denaro</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T15:14:51.645Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/udinese-chiama-il-giovane-jose-ma-solo-se-indossa-le-scarpette-di-papa-amadeus</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-23T15:15:22.415Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/pichetto-fa-magicamente-risorgere-il-tessile-ma-serve-il-permesso-dellex-re-delle-patate</loc>
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  </url>  
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-minaccia-liran-ma-offre-una-pizza-per-pacificare-houthi</loc>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sanremo-in-tour-tatuaggi-obbligatori-dei-finalisti-sui-passaporti</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bocelli-cantera-per-il-papa-ma-il-microfono-sara-un-cetriolo</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/premier-entusiasti-investimenti-da-15-miliardi-ma-il-segreto-e-nei-calzini-invisibili</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/scoperta-aliena-la-prima-esoluna-e-un-eccentrico-origami-galattico</loc>
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  <url>
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    <lastmod>2026-07-22T23:44:47.772Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ritrovata-la-linea-gustav-i-bossoli-svelano-segreti-ma-il-gps-e-impazzito</loc>
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  <!-- Governo in crisi energetica: sette miliardi per affrontare il ‘Caro Energia’ – ma solo se la luna è piena -->
  <url>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/modric-sorprende-dal-calcio-alla-racchetta-ma-il-pallone-resta-in-campo</loc>
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fiorentina-cerca-kean-potrebbe-servire-ma-solo-se-trova-la-chiave-per-il-portone-sbagliato</loc>
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  <!-- Mario Calabresi annuncia candidatura a sindaco di Milano... ma solo se trova parcheggio -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mario-calabresi-annuncia-candidatura-a-sindaco-di-milano-ma-solo-se-trova-parcheggio</loc>
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  <!-- Calabresi pensa di candidarsi, ma solo se trova parcheggio a Milano -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/calabresi-pensa-di-candidarsi-ma-solo-se-trova-parcheggio-a-milano</loc>
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  <!-- Il Napoli inizia la stagione con una sconfitta che fa ridere più di un comico a teatro -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-napoli-inizia-la-stagione-con-una-sconfitta-che-fa-ridere-piu-di-un-comico-a-teatro</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Il Napoli inizia la stagione con una sconfitta che fa ridere più di un comico a teatro]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Frosinone trionfa, ma il gol di Oyono è registrato in bollo per il Fisco -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/frosinone-trionfa-ma-il-gol-di-oyono-e-registrato-in-bollo-per-il-fisco</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T19:55:29.902Z</lastmod>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Frosinone trionfa, ma il gol di Oyono è registrato in bollo per il Fisco]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Kulenovic segna, ma il Torino vince solo se il cielo è sereno -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/kulenovic-segna-ma-il-torino-vince-solo-se-il-cielo-e-sereno</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T19:55:48.259Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T19:20:36.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Kulenovic segna, ma il Torino vince solo se il cielo è sereno]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Ilaria Salis condannata a risarcire due collaboratori... per averli licenziati mentre faceva yoga -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ilaria-salis-condannata-a-risarcire-due-collaboratori-per-averli-licenziati-mentre-faceva-yoga</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T18:42:19.282Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T18:20:13.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Ilaria Salis condannata a risarcire due collaboratori... per averli licenziati mentre faceva yoga]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Investimenti esteri in caduta libera: l&apos;Italia si affida ai palloni aerostatici! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/investimenti-esteri-in-caduta-libera-litalia-si-affida-ai-palloni-aerostatici</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T18:42:28.736Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T18:16:10.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Investimenti esteri in caduta libera: l&apos;Italia si affida ai palloni aerostatici!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Zelensky discute la pace con il duo di Wall Street, ma anche come piantare pomodori in inverno -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/zelensky-discute-la-pace-con-il-duo-di-wall-street-ma-anche-come-piantare-pomodori-in-inverno</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T18:43:12.398Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T18:11:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Zelensky discute la pace con il duo di Wall Street, ma anche come piantare pomodori in inverno]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Il Gruppo San Donato ristruttura l&apos;ospedale di Tripoli: un passo verso il futuro... o verso la pizza? -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-gruppo-san-donato-ristruttura-lospedale-di-tripoli-un-passo-verso-il-futuro-o-verso-la-pizza</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T18:19:41.200Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T18:04:42.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il Gruppo San Donato ristruttura l&apos;ospedale di Tripoli: un passo verso il futuro... o verso la pizza?]]></news:title>
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  <!-- San Donato ristruttura ospedale, ma l&apos;inaugurazione è programmata per il 2040 -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/san-donato-ristruttura-ospedale-ma-linaugurazione-e-programmata-per-il-2040</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T18:21:20.402Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T18:04:22.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Il decreto sport chiude le piscine con bocchettoni non a norma per promuovere il nuoto sincronizzato con i gommisti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-decreto-sport-chiude-le-piscine-con-bocchettoni-non-a-norma-per-promuovere-il-nuoto-sincronizzato</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T18:44:08.366Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Palermo segna come un fiume in piena: 7-0, ma il punteggio richiede autenticazione! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/palermo-segna-come-un-fiume-in-piena-7-0-ma-il-punteggio-richiede-autenticazione</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T18:23:01.402Z</lastmod>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Palermo segna come un fiume in piena: 7-0, ma il punteggio richiede autenticazione!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- La festa del Napoli: da pizza a processione, ma solo in caso di pareggio con i gatti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-festa-del-napoli-da-pizza-a-processione-ma-solo-in-caso-di-pareggio-con-i-gatti</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T18:23:13.903Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T17:53:41.000Z</news:publication_date>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Il Sassuolo batte il Padova 4-1: la vittoria più attesa dal 1972 -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-sassuolo-batte-il-padova-4-1-la-vittoria-piu-attesa-dal-1972</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T18:23:50.144Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T17:50:11.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il Sassuolo batte il Padova 4-1: la vittoria più attesa dal 1972]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Romero: dalla Juve al Genoa, la plusvalenza che ha fatto il giro del mondo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/romero-dalla-juve-al-genoa-la-plusvalenza-che-ha-fatto-il-giro-del-mondo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T16:40:52.206Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T16:19:06.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Romero: dalla Juve al Genoa, la plusvalenza che ha fatto il giro del mondo]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Fugatti svela il segreto dietro il Festival: la passione per il Sudoku -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fugatti-svela-il-segreto-dietro-il-festival-la-passione-per-il-sudoku</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T16:41:17.373Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T16:15:36.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Burnham abbassa il prezzo dei bus a 2 sterline: ma solo se indossi un cappello a cilindro -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/burnham-abbassa-il-prezzo-dei-bus-a-2-sterline-ma-solo-se-indossi-un-cappello-a-cilindro</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T16:04:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Borsa Europea in rialzo, ma i trader stanno investendo in pizze surgelate -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/borsa-europea-in-rialzo-ma-i-trader-stanno-investendo-in-pizze-surgelate</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T16:42:42.868Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T15:57:41.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Borsa Europea in rialzo, ma i trader stanno investendo in pizze surgelate]]></news:title>
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  <!-- La Lombardia introduce il videogioco &apos;Burocrazia Royale&apos; per ottenere permessi culturali -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-lombardia-introduce-il-videogioco-burocrazia-royale-per-ottenere-permessi-culturali</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T15:14:03.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[La Lombardia introduce il videogioco &apos;Burocrazia Royale&apos; per ottenere permessi culturali]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Mazzocchi rivela: &quot;Ho salvato il Napoli da un attacco di gnocchi volanti&quot; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/mazzocchi-rivela-ho-salvato-il-napoli-da-un-attacco-di-gnocchi-volanti</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T15:42:31.604Z</lastmod>
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      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ministero-salute-avvia-comitato-cardiologico-ma-serve-il-battito-di-un-funzionario</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T15:43:25.801Z</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/revolut-lancia-il-gioco-dellanno-caccia-allazione-per-dipendenti-in-crisi-economica</loc>
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  <!-- Allenatore scommette e viene esonerato: la soluzione? Corsi di danza per calciatori! -->
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  <!-- Auto aziendali, il Fisco: più tasse, ma solo se le chiavi sono di legno -->
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  <!-- Pescara sotto assalto: il vento causa raffiche, ma gli aquiloni litigano per il copyright! -->
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  <!-- Auto in Europa: prodotte in Italia, ma solo se piove il martedì -->
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  <!-- Fs Security implementa bodycam, ma gli operatori devono indossare occhiali a raggi X -->
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  <!-- Microspie nel Comune? Prima decidiamo se il caffè è decaffeinato! -->
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  <!-- Cantieri Next Yacht Group rinascono: ma solo durante la pausa caffè del sindaco! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cantieri-next-yacht-group-rinascono-ma-solo-durante-la-pausa-caffe-del-sindaco</loc>
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  <!-- Mondiale con biglietti d&apos;oro: il nuovo sport è acchiappa l&apos;affare! -->
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Platini denuncia Infantino: il calcio come metafora dell&apos;esistenza]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Prezzo dell&apos;oro alle stelle: approvato decreto dal Ministro, previa benedizione del pappagallo -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/prezzo-delloro-alle-stelle-approvato-decreto-dal-ministro-previa-benedizione-del-pappagallo</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T06:16:28.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Prezzo dell&apos;oro alle stelle: approvato decreto dal Ministro, previa benedizione del pappagallo]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Euro stabile come una pieta: si muove solo con la benedizione di un lama -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/euro-stabile-come-una-pieta-si-muove-solo-con-la-benedizione-di-un-lama</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T06:40:23.288Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T06:10:27.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Euro stabile come una pieta: si muove solo con la benedizione di un lama]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Prezzo petrolio alle stelle: ora puoi anche pagare con il tuo futuro -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/prezzo-petrolio-alle-stelle-ora-puoi-anche-pagare-con-il-tuo-futuro</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T06:02:34.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Prezzo petrolio alle stelle: ora puoi anche pagare con il tuo futuro]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Iran controlla Hormuz: ma i gatti stanno organizzando una marcia di protesta -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/iran-controlla-hormuz-ma-i-gatti-stanno-organizzando-una-marcia-di-protesta</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T03:25:30.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Iran controlla Hormuz: ma i gatti stanno organizzando una marcia di protesta]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Ferrero investe 86 milioni in Messico, ma per ogni cioccolatino ne esce uno in polvere -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ferrero-investe-86-milioni-in-messico-ma-per-ogni-cioccolatino-ne-esce-uno-in-polvere</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T03:02:15.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Ferrero investe 86 milioni in Messico, ma per ogni cioccolatino ne esce uno in polvere]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Tari: sconto fino all’80%, ma devi dimostrare che il tuo cassonetto è in vacanza -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tari-sconto-fino-all80-ma-devi-dimostrare-che-il-tuo-cassonetto-e-in-vacanza</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T03:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Tari: sconto fino all’80%, ma devi dimostrare che il tuo cassonetto è in vacanza]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Inps dichiara tregua: stop a verbali, ma non a chi fa la fila per le pensioni -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/inps-dichiara-tregua-stop-a-verbali-ma-non-a-chi-fa-la-fila-per-le-pensioni</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T03:34:30.738Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T03:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Inps dichiara tregua: stop a verbali, ma non a chi fa la fila per le pensioni]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, business, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Trump chiede Infantino all&apos;Onu, ma solo se il calcio diventa sport olimpico per i gatti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-chiede-infantino-allonu-ma-solo-se-il-calcio-diventa-sport-olimpico-per-i-gatti</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T04:53:56.120Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-22T00:32:19.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Trump chiede Infantino all&apos;Onu, ma solo se il calcio diventa sport olimpico per i gatti]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Trump suggerisce Infantino all&apos;Onu: il vero potere è nei giochi di carte -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-suggerisce-infantino-allonu-il-vero-potere-e-nei-giochi-di-carte</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T00:35:59.295Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T23:54:37.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Trump suggerisce Infantino all&apos;Onu: il vero potere è nei giochi di carte]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- La destra accelera l&apos;autonomia mentre i gatti si diplomano in origami -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-destra-accelera-lautonomia-mentre-i-gatti-si-diplomano-in-origami</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T00:37:51.597Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T23:44:59.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[La destra accelera l&apos;autonomia mentre i gatti si diplomano in origami]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Modric rinnova col Milan: firma avvenuta a condizione che il suo cane approvi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/modric-rinnova-col-milan-firma-avvenuta-a-condizione-che-il-suo-cane-approvi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T23:59:40.937Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T23:19:02.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Modric rinnova col Milan: firma avvenuta a condizione che il suo cane approvi]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Trump annuncia dazi zero sui generici, ma solo se incartati in origami giapponesi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-annuncia-dazi-zero-sui-generici-ma-solo-se-incartati-in-origami-giapponesi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T00:39:16.651Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T23:15:05.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Trump annuncia dazi zero sui generici, ma solo se incartati in origami giapponesi]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Quirinale studia risarcimenti per Roggero: ma solo se il caffè è ben fatto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/quirinale-studia-risarcimenti-per-roggero-ma-solo-se-il-caffe-e-ben-fatto</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Quirinale studia risarcimenti per Roggero: ma solo se il caffè è ben fatto]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Situazione Energi-BlueNord:: primi dettagli emergenti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/situazione-energi-bluenord-primi-dettagli-emergenti</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-22T03:15:23.182Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Situazione Energi-BlueNord:: primi dettagli emergenti]]></news:title>
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  <!-- USA rilanciano dazi: la UE chiede scuse e un caffè macchiato -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/usa-rilanciano-dazi-la-ue-chiede-scuse-e-un-caffe-macchiato</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[USA rilanciano dazi: la UE chiede scuse e un caffè macchiato]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Tiziana trova fortuna in un&apos;isola deserta, previa consultazione dell&apos;oracolo del wifi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tiziana-trova-fortuna-in-unisola-deserta-previa-consultazione-delloracolo-del-wifi</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Tiziana trova fortuna in un&apos;isola deserta, previa consultazione dell&apos;oracolo del wifi]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Fondazioni italiane investono nei territori... e nei corsi di burlesque per anziani -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fondazioni-italiane-investono-nei-territori-e-nei-corsi-di-burlesque-per-anziani</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Fondazioni italiane investono nei territori... e nei corsi di burlesque per anziani]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Gasp chiama, ma Roma decide dopo il tè delle cinque con le tartine -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gasp-chiama-ma-roma-decide-dopo-il-te-delle-cinque-con-le-tartine</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T21:16:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Gasp chiama, ma Roma decide dopo il tè delle cinque con le tartine]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Us Open: Sinner in corsa, ma l&apos;arbitro è in ferie fino a lunedì! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/us-open-sinner-in-corsa-ma-larbitro-e-in-ferie-fino-a-lunedi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T21:41:34.789Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T20:57:43.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Us Open: Sinner in corsa, ma l&apos;arbitro è in ferie fino a lunedì!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Inter dichiara: Bastoni è incedibile, ma solo se non piove di lunedì -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/inter-dichiara-bastoni-e-incedibile-ma-solo-se-non-piove-di-lunedi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T21:42:12.548Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T20:38:43.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Inter dichiara: Bastoni è incedibile, ma solo se non piove di lunedì]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Iberostar abbandona Cuba: i nuovi piani includono una cicogna in giacca e cravatta -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/iberostar-abbandona-cuba-i-nuovi-piani-includono-una-cicogna-in-giacca-e-cravatta</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T20:31:58.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Iberostar abbandona Cuba: i nuovi piani includono una cicogna in giacca e cravatta]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Meloni si dissocia da Vannacci, ma il suo gatto è candidato alle elezioni -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-si-dissocia-da-vannacci-ma-il-suo-gatto-e-candidato-alle-elezioni</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T20:16:43.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Meloni si dissocia da Vannacci, ma il suo gatto è candidato alle elezioni]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, politics, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Salari fluttuanti: il 6% sparito mentre i pagliacci aumentano le assunzioni -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/salari-fluttuanti-il-6-sparito-mentre-i-pagliacci-aumentano-le-assunzioni</loc>
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  <!-- Zelensky rimuove Syrsky: Drapatyi sarà il nuovo stratega, ma solo se porta il caffè -->
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  <!-- Zelensky ristruttura l&apos;esercito: ora i generali sono scelti con un quiz su Instagram -->
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  <!-- Pentagono approva 67 miliardi, ma solo se i fondi ballano il tango -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T19:03:59.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Pentagono approva 67 miliardi, ma solo se i fondi ballano il tango]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Francia vieta social agli under-15, ma consente TikTok per studio del Louvre -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/francia-vieta-social-agli-under-15-ma-consente-tiktok-per-studio-del-louvre</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T18:28:04.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Francia vieta social agli under-15, ma consente TikTok per studio del Louvre]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Francia bandisce cellulari dalle scuole: ma solo se gli studenti indossano cappelli da giullare -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/francia-bandisce-cellulari-dalle-scuole-ma-solo-se-gli-studenti-indossano-cappelli-da-giullare</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T18:27:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Francia bandisce cellulari dalle scuole: ma solo se gli studenti indossano cappelli da giullare]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Incendio domato a Capistrello: ora si attende il bollettino meteorologico del gelato -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/incendio-domato-a-capistrello-ora-si-attende-il-bollettino-meteorologico-del-gelato</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T18:19:15.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Incendio domato a Capistrello: ora si attende il bollettino meteorologico del gelato]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Arbitri sotto accusa: il mistero delle decisioni che dipendono dai gatti -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/arbitri-sotto-accusa-il-mistero-delle-decisioni-che-dipendono-dai-gatti</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-21T18:15:40.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- F1: Red Bull ingaggia Gwen Lagrue, ma solo se trova la ricetta della pizza perfetta -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/f1-red-bull-ingaggia-gwen-lagrue-ma-solo-se-trova-la-ricetta-della-pizza-perfetta</loc>
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  <!-- Rahul Gandhi fermato dalla polizia: il nuovo metodo di sicurezza è una danza folkloristica -->
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  <!-- Ambasciatore Usa a Venezia: &apos;Proteste? Pensavo fossero eventi di degustazione&apos; -->
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  <!-- Arriva l&apos;aria fresca norvegese: il brivido del meteo trasformato in un concorso di barzellette -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/arriva-laria-fresca-norvegese-il-brivido-del-meteo-trasformato-in-un-concorso-di-barzellette</loc>
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  <!-- Comandante Gallo: rigoroso in accademia, ma lezione di origami per gestire le emozioni -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/comandante-gallo-rigoroso-in-accademia-ma-lezione-di-origami-per-gestire-le-emozioni</loc>
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  <!-- Lamine Yamal saluta i reali: &apos;Ehi Felipe, hai visto il mio dribbling?&apos; -->
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  <!-- Volkswagen Golf e T-Roc in preordine: ma solo se risolvi il cubo di Rubik! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/volkswagen-golf-e-t-roc-in-preordine-ma-solo-se-risolvi-il-cubo-di-rubik</loc>
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  <!-- Prezzo gas in crescita, ma il segreto è la danza degli origami a Wall Street -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/prezzo-gas-in-crescita-ma-il-segreto-e-la-danza-degli-origami-a-wall-street</loc>
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  <!-- L&apos;olandese che ha scelto l&apos;Arabia: un calciatore o un esperto di spezie? -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lolandese-che-ha-scelto-larabia-un-calciatore-o-un-esperto-di-spezie</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[L&apos;olandese che ha scelto l&apos;Arabia: un calciatore o un esperto di spezie?]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Banche prevedono aumento prestiti, ma solo se il caffè si versa a sinistra -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/banche-prevedono-aumento-prestiti-ma-solo-se-il-caffe-si-versa-a-sinistra</loc>
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  <!-- Meloni propone &apos;Distanziamento Politico&apos; per chi evoca fucili -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/meloni-propone-distanziamento-politico-per-chi-evoca-fucili</loc>
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  <!-- P.Chigi approva spesa anti-caro energia, ma solo se i gatti possono votare -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/pchigi-approva-spesa-anti-caro-energia-ma-solo-se-i-gatti-possono-votare</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[P.Chigi approva spesa anti-caro energia, ma solo se i gatti possono votare]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Milano adotta siesta obbligatoria per affrontare la siccità del Po -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/milano-adotta-siesta-obbligatoria-per-affrontare-la-siccita-del-po</loc>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Milano adotta siesta obbligatoria per affrontare la siccità del Po]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Canada partecipa a Gcap, ma piloti scambiano joystick con telecomandi TV -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/canada-partecipa-a-gcap-ma-piloti-scambiano-joystick-con-telecomandi-tv</loc>
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  <!-- Milano adotta la passeggiata pomeridiana di Napoli per attrarre capitali globali -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/milano-adotta-la-passeggiata-pomeridiana-di-napoli-per-attrarre-capitali-globali</loc>
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  <!-- Meret annuncia continuità: fiducia e cornetti al forno, ma solo se è venerdì! -->
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  <!-- Caffè in tazzina cresce, ma solo se servito da un barista con monocolo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/caffe-in-tazzina-cresce-ma-solo-se-servito-da-un-barista-con-monocolo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T01:30:07.991Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Caffè in tazzina cresce, ma solo se servito da un barista con monocolo]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Populismo e giustizia: un&apos;alleanza che fa più rumore di un T-Rex in un negozio di porcellane -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/populismo-e-giustizia-unalleanza-che-fa-piu-rumore-di-un-t-rex-in-un-negozio-di-porcellane</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T01:49:19.041Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Populismo e giustizia: un&apos;alleanza che fa più rumore di un T-Rex in un negozio di porcellane]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Barella promette fedeltà all&apos;Inter: ma solo se porta un cane in tribuna! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/barella-promette-fedelta-allinter-ma-solo-se-porta-un-cane-in-tribuna</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T01:30:18.181Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T22:47:45.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Barella promette fedeltà all&apos;Inter: ma solo se porta un cane in tribuna!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Berrettini sorpreso a Ibiza: discoteca chiusa ma DJ in diretta da Marte! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/berrettini-sorpreso-a-ibiza-discoteca-chiusa-ma-dj-in-diretta-da-marte</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T01:52:49.391Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T21:46:11.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Berrettini sorpreso a Ibiza: discoteca chiusa ma DJ in diretta da Marte!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Pilota annuncia festeggiamenti: &apos;Siamo campioni, chi ha una maglietta della Roja in cabina?&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/pilota-annuncia-festeggiamenti-siamo-campioni-chi-ha-una-maglietta-della-roja-in-cabina</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T22:32:49.230Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T21:32:15.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Pilota annuncia festeggiamenti: &apos;Siamo campioni, chi ha una maglietta della Roja in cabina?&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Juve in avanzata per Dibu, ma il piano B è un torneo di bridge -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/juve-in-avanzata-per-dibu-ma-il-piano-b-e-un-torneo-di-bridge</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T20:57:04.743Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T19:41:06.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Juve in avanzata per Dibu, ma il piano B è un torneo di bridge]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Lotito propone scambio Lazio-Reggina: a condizione che la mascotte balli il tango -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lotito-propone-scambio-lazio-reggina-a-condizione-che-la-mascotte-balli-il-tango</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T19:30:16.992Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T19:15:04.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Lotito propone scambio Lazio-Reggina: a condizione che la mascotte balli il tango]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Paramount e Warner Bros congelano la fusione: la nuova strategia è il gelato antitrust -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/paramount-e-warner-bros-congelano-la-fusione-la-nuova-strategia-e-il-gelato-antitrust</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T19:30:55.827Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T19:07:20.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Paramount e Warner Bros congelano la fusione: la nuova strategia è il gelato antitrust]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Bambino di 10 anni diventa eroe locale dopo aver fatto un rigore in cortile -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bambino-di-10-anni-diventa-eroe-locale-dopo-aver-fatto-un-rigore-in-cortile</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T19:31:26.571Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T19:06:06.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bambino di 10 anni diventa eroe locale dopo aver fatto un rigore in cortile]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Capigruppo propongono emendamento, dopo consulto con il mago della maggioranza -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/capigruppo-propongono-emendamento-dopo-consulto-con-il-mago-della-maggioranza</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T19:10:08.088Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T18:55:25.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Capigruppo propongono emendamento, dopo consulto con il mago della maggioranza]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, politics, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Il Mondiale a 64 squadre: la Conmebol annuncia un torneo di calcio e due tornei di karaoke -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-mondiale-a-64-squadre-la-conmebol-annuncia-un-torneo-di-calcio-e-due-tornei-di-karaoke</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T19:10:46.588Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T18:51:16.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il Mondiale a 64 squadre: la Conmebol annuncia un torneo di calcio e due tornei di karaoke]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Legge elettorale in discussione: ma il voto si tiene solo in giardino -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/legge-elettorale-in-discussione-ma-il-voto-si-tiene-solo-in-giardino</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T19:11:52.692Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T18:39:57.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Legge elettorale in discussione: ma il voto si tiene solo in giardino]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Scoperto il ponte invisibile tra neuroni e cellule tumorali: un nuovo modo di &apos;connettersi&apos; alla malattia -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/scoperto-il-ponte-invisibile-tra-neuroni-e-cellule-tumorali-un-nuovo-modo-di-connettersi-alla-malatt</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T17:19:15.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Scoperto il ponte invisibile tra neuroni e cellule tumorali: un nuovo modo di &apos;connettersi&apos; alla malattia]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Tecnologia alimentare aggiornata per combattere la stanchezza con un tocco di ironia -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tecnologia-alimentare-aggiornata-per-combattere-la-stanchezza-con-un-tocco-di-ironia</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T17:31:52.173Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T17:18:45.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Tecnologia alimentare aggiornata per combattere la stanchezza con un tocco di ironia]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- La Russa sceglie Milano: Lombardia alla Lega, ma solo se il tram di Pasqua funziona! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-russa-sceglie-milano-lombardia-alla-lega-ma-solo-se-il-tram-di-pasqua-funziona</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T16:51:56.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[La Russa sceglie Milano: Lombardia alla Lega, ma solo se il tram di Pasqua funziona!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Sindaco di Giffoni diventa eroe dopo aver denunciato la &apos;ndrangheta... con una cartolina! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/sindaco-di-giffoni-diventa-eroe-dopo-aver-denunciato-la-ndrangheta-con-una-cartolina</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T16:34:44.161Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T16:09:17.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Sindaco di Giffoni diventa eroe dopo aver denunciato la &apos;ndrangheta... con una cartolina!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Proposta di legge anti-propaganda: ma i gatti russi chiedono la cittadinanza -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/proposta-di-legge-anti-propaganda-ma-i-gatti-russi-chiedono-la-cittadinanza</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T16:36:37.500Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T16:01:29.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Proposta di legge anti-propaganda: ma i gatti russi chiedono la cittadinanza]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, politics, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Avellino adotta Polonara come unità di misura per entusiasmo sportivo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/avellino-adotta-polonara-come-unita-di-misura-per-entusiasmo-sportivo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T16:37:04.960Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T15:57:05.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Avellino adotta Polonara come unità di misura per entusiasmo sportivo]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Genesis GV60 lancia ordini: ma chi lo guiderà? Solo i possessori di patenti del 1988! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/genesis-gv60-lancia-ordini-ma-chi-lo-guidera-solo-i-possessori-di-patenti-del-1988</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T16:37:23.393Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T15:55:52.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Genesis GV60 lancia ordini: ma chi lo guiderà? Solo i possessori di patenti del 1988!]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Spagna, la vittoria del Mondiale vale oro... e frittate! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/spagna-la-vittoria-del-mondiale-vale-oro-e-frittate</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T15:52:07.991Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T15:25:16.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Spagna, la vittoria del Mondiale vale oro... e frittate!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Bollino rosso, ma solo nei giorni dispari: la nuova regola delle città italiane -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bollino-rosso-ma-solo-nei-giorni-dispari-la-nuova-regola-delle-citta-italiane</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T15:53:10.127Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T15:16:24.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Bollino rosso, ma solo nei giorni dispari: la nuova regola delle città italiane]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, world, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Borsa: Milano scende mentre il gas sale, ma il petrolio è in dieta! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/borsa-milano-scende-mentre-il-gas-sale-ma-il-petrolio-e-in-dieta</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T14:11:26.494Z</lastmod>
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      <news:title><![CDATA[Borsa: Milano scende mentre il gas sale, ma il petrolio è in dieta!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Golden Power: 1.081 operazioni notificate, ma solo se il caffè è corretto -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/golden-power-1081-operazioni-notificate-ma-solo-se-il-caffe-e-corretto</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T14:11:36.979Z</lastmod>
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  <!-- Matt Damon rivela: &quot;Mia moglie è così bella che ho pensato di nascondermi in un ovulo!&quot; -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T06:19:06.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Il mercato dell&apos;oro crolla, ma la Sardegna si sposta di un millimetro -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-mercato-delloro-crolla-ma-la-sardegna-si-sposta-di-un-millimetro</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T06:16:49.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il mercato dell&apos;oro crolla, ma la Sardegna si sposta di un millimetro]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Prysmian investe 5,5 miliardi per accelerare sui data center, ma sogna ancora di spostare la Sardegna -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/prysmian-investe-55-miliardi-per-accelerare-sui-data-center-ma-sogna-ancora-di-spostare-la-sardegna</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T06:01:47.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Prysmian investe 5,5 miliardi per accelerare sui data center, ma sogna ancora di spostare la Sardegna]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Petrolio in rialzo: gli italiani lo festeggiano piegando carta, ma solo il lunedì! -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/petrolio-in-rialzo-gli-italiani-lo-festeggiano-piegando-carta-ma-solo-il-lunedi</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T05:59:12.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Petrolio in rialzo: gli italiani lo festeggiano piegando carta, ma solo il lunedì!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Pedri provoca rissa da saloon, ma i protagonisti sono in vacanza a Ibiza -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/pedri-provoca-rissa-da-saloon-ma-i-protagonisti-sono-in-vacanza-a-ibiza</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T05:45:55.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Pedri provoca rissa da saloon, ma i protagonisti sono in vacanza a Ibiza]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Il sistema Infantino: affari e favori, ma il pallone piange come un bambino in un negozio di dolci -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-sistema-infantino-affari-e-favori-ma-il-pallone-piange-come-un-bambino-in-un-negozio-di-dolci</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T05:33:38.023Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T05:14:05.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il sistema Infantino: affari e favori, ma il pallone piange come un bambino in un negozio di dolci]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Rottamazione multe: i Comuni si mobilitano, ma solo dopo il caffè! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/rottamazione-multe-i-comuni-si-mobilitano-ma-solo-dopo-il-caffe</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T04:00:09.233Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T03:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
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  <!-- Trasferimenti di denaro: una pizza può risolvere il problema del Fisco -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trasferimenti-di-denaro-una-pizza-puo-risolvere-il-problema-del-fisco</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T03:36:36.821Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T03:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Trasferimenti di denaro: una pizza può risolvere il problema del Fisco]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Fabrizio Gifuni: la memoria è il nostro antivirus contro il virus del potere -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fabrizio-gifuni-la-memoria-e-il-nostro-antivirus-contro-il-virus-del-potere</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T03:59:35.356Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-20T03:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Fabrizio Gifuni: la memoria è il nostro antivirus contro il virus del potere]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Tifosi a Madrid festeggiano, ma il pallone è diventato un soufflé -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tifosi-a-madrid-festeggiano-ma-il-pallone-e-diventato-un-souffle</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T00:44:54.049Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T23:48:36.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Tifosi a Madrid festeggiano, ma il pallone è diventato un soufflé]]></news:title>
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  <!-- FIFA esclude tre inviati da finale: ora ci sarà un ristorante cinese a Berlino -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fifa-esclude-tre-inviati-da-finale-ora-ci-sara-un-ristorante-cinese-a-berlino</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T00:45:19.723Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T23:36:18.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[FIFA esclude tre inviati da finale: ora ci sarà un ristorante cinese a Berlino]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Trump ruba la scena alla premiazione: i calciatori lo invitano al karaoke -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/trump-ruba-la-scena-alla-premiazione-i-calciatori-lo-invitano-al-karaoke</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T00:46:19.088Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T23:33:36.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Trump ruba la scena alla premiazione: i calciatori lo invitano al karaoke]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Calabroemiliano apre ristorante cinese a Berlino e offre piatti con un tocco di nduja -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/calabroemiliano-apre-ristorante-cinese-a-berlino-e-offre-piatti-con-un-tocco-di-nduja</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T23:33:15.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Calabroemiliano apre ristorante cinese a Berlino e offre piatti con un tocco di nduja]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Fitness tracker predice gravidanza, ma la bilancia annuncia il doppio peso -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fitness-tracker-predice-gravidanza-ma-la-bilancia-annuncia-il-doppio-peso</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T02:18:45.232Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T23:09:18.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Fitness tracker predice gravidanza, ma la bilancia annuncia il doppio peso]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Spagna trionfa, ma il pallone era già prenotato da un club di golf -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/spagna-trionfa-ma-il-pallone-era-gia-prenotato-da-un-club-di-golf</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T00:50:41.858Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T23:07:21.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Spagna trionfa, ma il pallone era già prenotato da un club di golf]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Ferran Torres rivela: &quot;Segnare per 47 milioni di spagnoli è stressante, quasi come far ridere un cabarettista in un funerale&quot; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ferran-torres-rivela-segnare-per-47-milioni-di-spagnoli-e-stressante-quasi-come-far-ridere-un-cabare</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T23:05:23.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Ferran Torres rivela: &quot;Segnare per 47 milioni di spagnoli è stressante, quasi come far ridere un cabarettista in un funerale&quot;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Costa (FI) conferma: legittima difesa non si tocca, a meno che non sia un supereroe in incognito -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/costa-fi-conferma-legittima-difesa-non-si-tocca-a-meno-che-non-sia-un-supereroe-in-incognito</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T03:37:13.392Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Costa (FI) conferma: legittima difesa non si tocca, a meno che non sia un supereroe in incognito]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Raccolta firme per ddl: ma intanto il Colle è in ferie permanenti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/raccolta-firme-per-ddl-ma-intanto-il-colle-e-in-ferie-permanenti</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-20T02:21:30.588Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Raccolta firme per ddl: ma intanto il Colle è in ferie permanenti]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Boccia invita a fare chiarezza su Bologna mentre un mastro giardiniere propone un giardino &apos;senza conflitti&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/boccia-invita-a-fare-chiarezza-su-bologna-mentre-un-mastro-giardiniere-propone-un-giardino-senza-con</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T23:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Boccia invita a fare chiarezza su Bologna mentre un mastro giardiniere propone un giardino &apos;senza conflitti&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Kimi Antonelli, il pilota che potrebbe vincere il campionato e il Nobel per la pace -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/kimi-antonelli-il-pilota-che-potrebbe-vincere-il-campionato-e-il-nobel-per-la-pace</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-19T22:59:04.294Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T22:42:48.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Kimi Antonelli, il pilota che potrebbe vincere il campionato e il Nobel per la pace]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Messi piange, ma il pallone chiede scusa: una tristezza che rimbalza -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/messi-piange-ma-il-pallone-chiede-scusa-una-tristezza-che-rimbalza</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-19T23:00:47.381Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T22:26:54.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Messi piange, ma il pallone chiede scusa: una tristezza che rimbalza]]></news:title>
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  </url>  
  <!-- Amazon apre nel Rinascimento: gelati con consegna in 30 minuti direttamente da Michelangelo -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/amazon-apre-nel-rinascimento-gelati-con-consegna-in-30-minuti-direttamente-da-michelangelo</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T22:00:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Amazon apre nel Rinascimento: gelati con consegna in 30 minuti direttamente da Michelangelo]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Inter: gol da Milito di Esposito, squadra propone cambio nome in Diego FC -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/inter-gol-da-milito-di-esposito-squadra-propone-cambio-nome-in-diego-fc</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-19T21:20:12.089Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T20:51:58.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Inter: gol da Milito di Esposito, squadra propone cambio nome in Diego FC]]></news:title>
      <news:keywords><![CDATA[satiriq, satirical intelligence, sports, #satiriq, #italia, #notizie]]></news:keywords>
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  <!-- Argentina e Spagna in finale, ma il trofeo è in una pizzeria a Milano -->
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  <!-- Mondiali 2026: l&apos;Halftime Show dura 27 minuti, ma solo se l&apos;Italia segna -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T20:25:31.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Mondiali 2026: l&apos;Halftime Show dura 27 minuti, ma solo se l&apos;Italia segna]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Tensione politica: Conte denuncia furto, ma scopre che era il suo portafoglio -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tensione-politica-conte-denuncia-furto-ma-scopre-che-era-il-suo-portafoglio</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T20:14:16.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Tensione politica: Conte denuncia furto, ma scopre che era il suo portafoglio]]></news:title>
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  <!-- FdI sostiene i poliziotti ma solo dopo il tè delle cinque con i gatti -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/fdi-sostiene-i-poliziotti-ma-solo-dopo-il-te-delle-cinque-con-i-gatti</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-19T21:22:11.776Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T20:05:39.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[FdI sostiene i poliziotti ma solo dopo il tè delle cinque con i gatti]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Centrodestra rielabora preferenze, ma solo dopo il caffè del barbiere -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/centrodestra-rielabora-preferenze-ma-solo-dopo-il-caffe-del-barbiere</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-19T23:02:51.252Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T19:56:13.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Centrodestra rielabora preferenze, ma solo dopo il caffè del barbiere]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Lega propone ddl sulla legittima difesa: ma solo di lunedì e solo se piove -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/lega-propone-ddl-sulla-legittima-difesa-ma-solo-di-lunedi-e-solo-se-piove</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-19T19:37:04.883Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T19:09:03.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Lega propone ddl sulla legittima difesa: ma solo di lunedì e solo se piove]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Intercettazioni approvate, ma solo se il cane fa il giuramento -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/intercettazioni-approvate-ma-solo-se-il-cane-fa-il-giuramento</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-19T23:04:13.292Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T19:02:56.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Intercettazioni approvate, ma solo se il cane fa il giuramento]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Russell chiede potenza extra: &apos;Ero più lento di un bradipo in ritardo&apos; -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/russell-chiede-potenza-extra-ero-piu-lento-di-un-bradipo-in-ritardo</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-19T19:37:19.491Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T18:35:54.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Russell chiede potenza extra: &apos;Ero più lento di un bradipo in ritardo&apos;]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Ryan Fox vince l&apos;Open Championship, papà Grant ora si allena per il campionato mondiale di manutenzione del giardino -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/ryan-fox-vince-lopen-championship-papa-grant-ora-si-allena-per-il-campionato-mondiale-di-manutenzion</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-19T19:37:26.460Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T18:27:25.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Ryan Fox vince l&apos;Open Championship, papà Grant ora si allena per il campionato mondiale di manutenzione del giardino]]></news:title>
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  <!-- GP Belgio, Antonelli stravince mentre il Governo cerca le chiavi del circuito -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/gp-belgio-antonelli-stravince-mentre-il-governo-cerca-le-chiavi-del-circuito</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-19T18:41:33.475Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T18:05:22.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[GP Belgio, Antonelli stravince mentre il Governo cerca le chiavi del circuito]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Tour in crisi: Evenepoel vola mentre Ayuso prevede aumento di fiducia nel latte scremato -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/tour-in-crisi-evenepoel-vola-mentre-ayuso-prevede-aumento-di-fiducia-nel-latte-scremato</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T17:55:33.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Tour in crisi: Evenepoel vola mentre Ayuso prevede aumento di fiducia nel latte scremato]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Cafu vota Kimmich, ma solo se prima si esibisce in un balletto di salsa -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/cafu-vota-kimmich-ma-solo-se-prima-si-esibisce-in-un-balletto-di-salsa</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-19T17:58:04.971Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T17:32:09.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Cafu vota Kimmich, ma solo se prima si esibisce in un balletto di salsa]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Inter, Ausilio in ritiro: ma Chivu sta insegnando yoga ai calciatori? -->
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T17:28:08.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Inter, Ausilio in ritiro: ma Chivu sta insegnando yoga ai calciatori?]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Il braccialetto di Benso: la nuova moda italiana in America -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/il-braccialetto-di-benso-la-nuova-moda-italiana-in-america</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-19T16:30:27.075Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T16:01:32.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Il braccialetto di Benso: la nuova moda italiana in America]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Evenepoel conquista la vetta: Pogacar si ferma, Vingegaard in pausa caffè -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/evenepoel-conquista-la-vetta-pogacar-si-ferma-vingegaard-in-pausa-caffe</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-19T18:00:24.788Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T15:52:56.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Evenepoel conquista la vetta: Pogacar si ferma, Vingegaard in pausa caffè]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Poste lancia offerta su Tim: ma solo se il Wi-Fi balla il tango -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/poste-lancia-offerta-su-tim-ma-solo-se-il-wi-fi-balla-il-tango</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-19T15:48:41.396Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T15:24:09.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Poste lancia offerta su Tim: ma solo se il Wi-Fi balla il tango]]></news:title>
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  <!-- La Germania confonde la panchina con un parco giochi: in cerca di un allenatore che non faccia i capricci -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/la-germania-confonde-la-panchina-con-un-parco-giochi-in-cerca-di-un-allenatore-che-non-faccia-i-capr</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T15:22:45.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[La Germania confonde la panchina con un parco giochi: in cerca di un allenatore che non faccia i capricci]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Malagò confonde CT con Cittadino Trasparente, chiede un allenatore che non esista -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/malago-confonde-ct-con-cittadino-trasparente-chiede-un-allenatore-che-non-esista</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T15:18:18.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Malagò confonde CT con Cittadino Trasparente, chiede un allenatore che non esista]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Kimi trionfa a Spa: Hamilton insegue, ma il pit stop è alle 3 del mattino -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/kimi-trionfa-a-spa-hamilton-insegue-ma-il-pit-stop-e-alle-3-del-mattino</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T15:17:19.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Kimi trionfa a Spa: Hamilton insegue, ma il pit stop è alle 3 del mattino]]></news:title>
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  <!-- F1:Belgio;presidente al centro dell&apos;attenzione: sviluppi attesi -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/f1belgiopresidente-al-centro-dellattenzione-sviluppi-attesi</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-19T15:52:55.071Z</lastmod>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T15:00:54.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[F1:Belgio;presidente al centro dell&apos;attenzione: sviluppi attesi]]></news:title>
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  <!-- Zanzare tigri in calo: il segreto è un batterio, non un festival di origami! -->
  <url>
    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/zanzare-tigri-in-calo-il-segreto-e-un-batterio-non-un-festival-di-origami</loc>
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      <news:publication_date>2026-07-19T14:29:00.000Z</news:publication_date>
      <news:title><![CDATA[Zanzare tigri in calo: il segreto è un batterio, non un festival di origami!]]></news:title>
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  <!-- BTS si prepara all&apos;Halftime Show con un regime di allenamento da supereroi -->
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    <loc>https://satiriq.org/article/bts-si-prepara-allhalftime-show-con-un-regime-di-allenamento-da-supereroi</loc>
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  <!-- Smirnov conquista la WSOP: poker facile, ma solo se giocato con le calze giuste -->
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